The Time Mike Pence Tried to Make Scottishness Great Again
The following is fiction. As far as we know, the real Mike Pence is not, in fact, the “laddie from Dunedin” or Chieftan of Clan MacPence
Category: Fiction
The Time Booper and I Lost Mike Pence’s Children at the County Fair
This story is fictional. To the best of our knowledge, the real Mike Pence did not chase a bunch of carnies down in an autogyro.
Why Mike Pence Will No Longer Allow Booper or Me to Help Him Campaign
This story is entirely fictional. To our knowledge, the real Mike Pence has never had any run-ins with Augustus Cobbledick.
A Halloween Revelation: Samuel L Wilson, RIP
Ten years after The Event I can finally tell the simulation that I was with him at his end, the damn fool. So many upgrades, bugfixes, and hardware changes have come and gone that...
Booper McCarthy and the Unquiet Shade of Salubrity Prescott
Oddly enough, the house was never really his. His wife, a lady called Salubrity Prescott, had just begun to build the house when the supposed doctor met his end.
Where Waldo Was: A Booper and Bryan Misadventure Featuring Mike Pence
In the last week you traveled to the 1920s, met a wizard and inspired Mike Pence to curse and this is where you refuse to suspend disbelief?
From Piles to Paradise: Mitt Romney’s Sea Misadventure with Bryan & Booper
As far as Mitt Romney is concerned, this tale contains observations of an anatomical nature which are, if not indecent, entirely fictional.
The Time Mike Pence Saved Christmas
The following story is meant as humor. As far as we know Mike Pence does not do a spot-on Elmo impression when he has two lungsful of helium.
Booper McCarthy and the Great Chicken Truck Rescue
“That is all well and good,” I said. “But how can one discern the wings of a right-wing dominant chicken from a left-wing dominant chicken?”
Stingy Jack: A Jack-O-Lantern Origin Story
This is a retelling of an Irish folktale. The modern Jack-O-Lantern may very well be derived from this tale, though there are other possible origins
The Time Mike Pence Just Shot a Man in the Face
This story is entirely fictional. To our knowledge, Mike Pence has never administered experimental doses of Thorazine to the mentally ill.
Eudoxos & Tapeinōtos: A Fable
A fable by Bryan O’Nolan: “You have lived in a land of wonder. I have had every error, every fault, written indelibly upon my name.”
OT Contributor Network: Michael Siegel’s Dreams in the Long Dark
From the Ordinary Times Contributor Network, Michael Siegel’s Dreams in the Long Dark, part one of a three part short story.
You’ll Have To Answer To The Coca-Cola Corporation
“After that, I was in the joint for like a week before Coke came calling with a Brand Ambassador position.”
Pomfret House, First Report
Original Fiction: Whatever noble mien Pomfret House once bore was long effaced by time and the foul reputation of its previous owner.
The Archers and The Sacred Tree: A Fable
Once upon a time, a very long time ago when there were wolves in the forests and the future could be discerned through the observation of the flight of birds and the entrails of beasts
Songs About John Henry
It’s been a slow news week so come with me on a journey into American folklore to a story we all kn–wait, what’s this coming in through my earpiece? The President of the United...
The Diamond of Milan
Original Fiction: “Ah, so this particular treasure-this one is different,” the intruder guessed. “This one actually means something to you, doesn’t it?”
The Time That Booper And I Exfiltrated Mike Pence From Cuba
The following story is meant to be humorous. Any resemblance to the Vice President or a beloved talking conveyance is purely coincidental.
Bang!
I doubt I could get a thousand tons of uranium ore without attracting a bit of unwanted attention. In fact, it’s probably best I don’t disclose too much”
