I have this very strange dream of cooking all the American sandwiches. Why? Because sandwiches are delicious, not horribly complicated, and they’re a great way to learn about the history and geography of the United States. Old and new, East and West, North and South, red states and blue. It’s a project I’ve set out to do several times and then been too broke or busy to follow through with it, but in this time of bubbles and divisiveness it seems like a noble cause. After all, who can hate a sandwich? They’re both yummy and apolitical. Maybe sandwiches are just the thing we need to heal the rifts in our country and bring us together again – at a picnic table, in the sunshine, passing the napkins, talking about the things we all agree on. If any.
Big T is tablespoon, small t is teaspoon, c is cup.
The Club Sandwich
I picked an easy one to start with. I hesitated because I’m apparently the only person in America who doesn’t really enjoy bacon to the point of orgasm, but I had some in the fridge to use up (it was a gift from the Bacon Fairy) so it made sense.
So what is a Club Sandwich, anyway? It’s kind of like pornography; hard to define, but you know it when you see it. It’s got some kind of lunch meat – usually poultry-based – with bacon, lettuce, and tomato on toast. Mayo is a prerequisite. Aside, have you ever noticed how in the East it’s Hellman’s mayo, in the West it’s called Best Foods? I guess we in the West are too delicate to eat mayo that apparently came from the Gates of Hell – our Food must be the Best, y’all. No matter what you call it, it’s a superior mayo and so that is the kind one must have on hand in order to make a high quality club sandwich.
Step one: Procure Hellman’s or Best Foods Mayonnaise. NO, don’t make your own mayonnaise, silly, what are we, French or something?
Conventional wisdom states that the club (or clubhouse) sandwich most likely hails from the Empire State, New York. By club, I am envisioning one of those wood-paneled gentlemen’s clubs where men wearing bowler hats chat about how terrible suffragettes are and the merits of unusually large bicycles whilst twirling handlebar mustaches. No one’s really quite sure which club originally invented the sandwich – there are references to the club sandwich being served in two different gentlemen’s clubs during the late 1800’s, one in Saratoga Springs, one in New York City. No matter who invented them, by the turn of the century the club sandwich was a Definite Thing. At the St. Louis World’s Fair in 1904 they were served alongside hamburgers, hot dogs, iced tea, ice cream cones, and cotton candy, and quickly became recognized worldwide as distinctively, delectably American cuisine.
A really neato history of the club sandwich can be found here on my new fave website, Sandwich Tribunal.
Step two: The ingredients.
In addition to that tasty mayo you’ll need sliced turkey, bacon, lettuce, tomato, and bread. I made my own bread just because making a club sandwich is so easy otherwise it felt like I was cheating.
Step Two-and-a-half: Make bread. If you so desire.
The Internet informs me that this recipe is very similar to something called “Julia Child’s Sandwich Bread” and I don’t know if it’s truly Julia’s, since I’ve used it for years and never knew Julia Child had anything to do with it.
Possibly Julia Child’s Sandwich Bread
2 cups warm water (not too warm)
1 packet yeast (about 2 teaspoons if you’re not using packets)
1 T sugar
1 t salt (you can use a little more, I don’t like salty bread)
Somewhere in the neighborhood of 4-5 cups of flour (bread dough is weird like that)
2 T butter (if you want a more bready-tasting bread)
OR
1 T oil (if you like a more French bread taste)
Mix yeast, water, and sugar in a bowl and allow to proof (that means sit there till the yeast gets foamy) for about five minutes. Add salt and butter or oil at that point and give a good stir to get everything well acquainted. Add about 2 cups of flour and mix till combined. (I have a Kitchen Aid stand mixer and I highly recommend it if you’re at all serious about making bread any more often than once a year or so. But you can use a sturdy eggbeater, or even a spoon if you’re a masochist)
Add in one more cup of flour, mix again. The dough should be looking a little more “doughy”. Then carefully add in the next cup of flour (we are about at 4 cups here, right? I kinda lost count) This is where you have to use your gut instinct – too much flour is a disaster, worse than not enough, so err on the side of less, even if the dough is a bit sticky and you have to oil your hands to touch it. IMVHO the number one mistake with bread is people putting too much flour into it. Use the barest minimum. You may need to add more in the neighborhood of 4 ½ cups or 5 but at the end of it you should have a slightly sticky dough to work with. Put it in a warmish place and let rise till doubled – many books say this takes 2 hours or so but my bread has always doubled much more quickly than that.
With lightly greased hands, split this dough into two parts. Form each part into a loaf and into a greased loaf pan (if you want loaf shaped bread) or onto a greased cookie sheet (if you want a freeform French or Italian bread shape.) I usually wipe a little extra oil or butter onto the top of the loaf to help it expand as it rises and I also like to cut a vertical line gently across the top crust, using the tip of a sharp knife, to enable it to expand even more. Let the loaves rise again till doubled, however long that takes. You can tell it’s ready when you poke it and you leave a lasting imprint. Bake at 350 for about 30 minutes and then take out of the oven and out of the loaf pans if using them.
Trick for better sandwich bread – once the bread is just cool enough to touch, carefully, using a sharp serrated bread knife that won’t moosh your loaf, cut off both end crusts. People who are probably way smarter than me will tell you not to do this but I find it allows the inside of the bread to cool without getting as doughy and soggy as homemade bread can sometimes. Then eat the end crusts with butter and reward yourself for your patience.
Or you can totally use just regular storebought bread. That works too.
Step Three: Make a BLT, just for practice.
Consider this our warmup sandwich. We’ll pause briefly before we get to constructing the Club to discuss another famed American sandwich, the BLT. A BLT (bacon, lettuce and tomato, in case you live in a cave and have never spoken with a human before, welcome, friend!) is probably not a truly American sandwich since evidence indicates it was for sure made in Victorian England and possibly in some form or the other all the way back to Roman times. But still, it’s pretty darn American at this point (I call cultural appropriation) and the directions are practically identical to those of the Club, plus there is always some weisenheimer who doesn’t like turkey despite it being like the most benign cold cut ever. But most people like BLTs. So.
How to cook bacon in the oven and revolutionize your existence
If you like bacon but hate cooking it, have I got a trick for you. Lay your bacon flat in a large pan, like the kind you make a sheet cake or a lasagna in. You can line this pan with tin foil for easier cleanup but I usually don’t bother and end up scrubbing the pan for an hour afterwards, wondering why I didn’t.
Put bacon into your preheated 350 degree oven and wait. Some will tell you 400 degrees; in my experience, this is a recipe not for regular bacon, but for burnt bacon. After about 10 minutes, turn over the bacon (careful, it spits) and return it to the oven till it finishes baking. The end result will be nice, flat, evenly cooked pieces of bacon and you will never return to the old pan on the burner method. And if you prefer to cook bacon in the microwave you’re crazy and I hope you have a lot of 409 on hand to clean it up afterwards.
On Tomatoes:
Get good ones! It makes a difference! If they don’t have good ones, get Romas; they’re usually ok even in the dead of winter. Use a serrated knife to slice them without squishing.
On Lettuce:
Iceberg. There is no substitute. Trust me, it is fine to cut your iceberg into thin, easy to chew shreds with a metal knife. Yes, it will go brown eventually but in the long run, we’re all dead and the lettuce will be long eaten by the time it turns even the slightest of unappetizing shades.
Do not put a whole freaking leaf of lettuce on your sandwich unless your teeth are razor sharp. It will end in tears.
On Mayo:
We have already discussed Hellman’s/Best Foods. Accept no substitute.
Assemble your BLT:
Toast your bread and generously smear mayo across it. Generously. Use like 17 times more than you think you need. Put some lettuce shreds on one side and some tomato slices on the other. Bacon in the middle. Slap them together and slice into triangular halves (I don’t know why, but something about the triangular halves makes the sandwich taste better.)
Step 4: Ok we’re actually going to make a Club now. Fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy sandwich.
On turkey:
Some put ham on a Club sandwich, but that seems to me like a pork overdose. I think the turkey and bacon are very complimentary of one another, whereas ham feels like it came from another planet- a delicious planet perhaps, but not the Club Sandwich Planet. I like deli turkey, just the plain stuff, not smoked. Easy to come by.
On cheese:
I think not. That feels like blasphemy to me. Your call, though.
Club sandwich assembly:
Do everything exactly like you did for your practice BLT. Only put some turkey on that bad boy. And instead of cutting the sammie in triangular halfs, get crazy and cut it in triangular fourths.
On the concept of a triple-decker sandwich:
When you order a club sandwich in whatever picturesque eatery you happen to order club sandwiches at, they come in this monstrous form, with 3 pieces of bread stuck together by cellophaned toothpicks. Personally, I think it is a gimmick from Big Breadness and the Global Cellophane Toothpick Concern to sell more bread and also some befrilled toothpicks to the club sandwich connoisseurs of America. Don’t fall for it. I don’t think it helps the sandwich at all and in fact turns it into a dry, hard-to-manage mouthstretcher that cannot be eaten with even a shred of dignity. There is nothing wrong with putting a club on 2 pieces of bread. It is allowed, I have decreed it thusly. The key to the club is the turkey-bacon-mayo-tomato-lettuce-and-toast flavor melange and not a three-dimensional structure precariously held together by sticks of wood. Wood does not belong in sandwiches unless you are a beaver.
Oh yeah, I forgot about the toast.
It’s gotta be toast. Holds everything together better and doesn’t get soggy. If you make bread using the Possibly Julia Child recipe, it slices really well for homemade bread and you can toast it in a regular toaster. Otherwise, you can toast homemade bread in an oven.
But wait, there’s more!
The California Club Sandwich
At the risk of getting cultural whiplash, we’ll catch the Red Eye to the other end of the nation and meet another incarnation, one that I personally prefer. The California Club. I couldn’t find an origin story for the California Club, so I’m going to assume it was created by the personal chef of Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks at their legendary estate “Pickfair” in 1922 and has been a California institution ever since. Or, maybe it came from an avocado grower’s cookbook in the late 70’s. Either way.
Step One: Do everything exactly like you did for the standard Club Sandwich.
It’s pretty much the same sandwich.
Except for….
Instead of white bread, use whole grain. I don’t have a good whole grain bread recipe, unfortunately. I’m the only one in the family who likes whole grain bread, and thus I never bothered to master it since never, ever doing things just for one’s self is the cardinal rule of mom-ing. Share yours in the comments if you have a good one!
Instead of toast, California Clubs are often served on untoasted bread. Your call.
Instead of lettuce, use alfalfa sprouts.
On avocado:
In my experience with avocado, it doesn’t matter how many I buy, one is always bad. If I buy 5, the 4 are good but one, usually the last one, is bad. If I buy 2, one is bad. And if I buy just one, invariably it’s brown mush when I cut it open. So buy at least two to protect yourself from this mysterious phenomenon. I got 3 sandwiches per avocado. YMMV.
You want your avocados to be fairly ripe when you make your sandwich so get a softer one that is more brown than green. I like Haas better but of course they cost more, too.
To eviscerate an avocado, cut it in half and scoop each half out with a spoon. It should be soft enough to allow this violation or else it is probably too hard to make a good sandwich. It doesn’t have to be pretty, since you’ll be cutting it up anyway. Then once you’ve set the delicious innards free from its leathery exterior, slice it thinly. You do not need to worry about coating your avocado with lemon juice or anything. Just wait to cut it up til right before you’re ready to eat it. Avocado is not a make-ahead food, lemon or no.
California Club Sandwich assembly:
When you add your turkey layer, also add an avocado layer. And instead of the lettuce layer, use alfalfa sprouts. Everything else stays the same. California Clubs don’t seem to come cut into triangles, and are generally served whole or halved down the center.
On sauces and cheeses:
For whatever reason, people switch it up more on the California Club vs. the standard. I suspect it’s because the flavor of the avocado masks the mayo taste so you may need a little more oomph in the sauce department. Ranch dressing, sriracha or Japanese mayo, swiss or cheddar on top – follow your bliss. I kinda like a little Thousand Island in lieu of the mayo.
You’re still hungry, aren’t you? Good. I have lots more sandwiches left to make! Stay tuned.
Photo by Ben Sutherland 
I love this post so much, I can even overlook and forgive the heretical mayo opinions. I laughed more than once out loud. Very well done, Kristin, and the perfect post after weeks of very heavy topics. More of this.Report
Happily. Thanks.Report
Wikipedia has a good summary of the Hellmann’s and Best Foods mayonnaise history. Both are currently owned by the same company, produced in the same factories, using the same ingredients. Reportedly the proportions of the ingredients are very slightly different.Report
Interesting, thanks! I love that kind of stuff.Report
A club sandwich on two pieces of bread? Is this a parody article or something?Report
If I wanted toast, I’d be eating breakfast.Report
Samesies. Well, except that as often as not, it’s my wife scrubbing and wondering why I didn’t use foil, and the wondering is done out loud and with just a hint of impending violence.Report
Aluminum foil is cheap.
Divorces are expensive.
Just sayin’.Report
1. Avocados: I have a lot of opinions about this most noble and savory fruit. To address the concern in the OP about fruit wastage: 1) be careful selecting the fruit at the grocery; avoid bruising (which you may have to feel for) and stem rot; 2) since your grocery probably sells you under-ripened fruit, try to set up a cascade of fruit that will ripen, one day after the other, so you can use a newly-ripened fruit every day; and 3) the paper bag trick really works, but check the fruit inside the bag every day and use it the day it just starts to give when you squeeze it. I’ve heard that some people microwave an under-ripe avocado to “ripen” it which is lunacy: do not do this please.
2. A club sandwich has three layers of toasted bread. What’s the difference between a two-slice “club” sandwich and a simple turkey-and-bacon? None. The third slice of bread is the very hallmark of a club. I agree the frilly toothpicks are dispensable (at home) but the whole point is that third slice of tummy-filling toasted bread in the middle.
3. Thousand island instead of mayonnaise? You’ve made all the hairs on my back stand up straight in barely-controlled outrage. Seriously, I’m a steaming cauldron of ill-contained anger over here, ready to boil over into a rant. This is a blasphemy the sort of which nearly rent the Byzantine Empire in twain, and I dearly hope we shall not again encounter this perversion or its like in word here either spoken or writ.
4. Notwithstanding my quibbles, I very much enjoyed this piece! Like many others here, I salivate with anticipation of the next step on your #SandwichTrek, @kristin-devine!Report
I have an avocado handicap in that I only buy them when they are dramatically marked off (and I mean DRAMATICALLY) so it is probably my own fault when I end up with a bad one. “How can this be brown already? I want my .37 cents back!”
You will never get me to eat that third piece of bread. Ever. There are children starving who need that extraneous piece of bread. I often put mine in an envelope and just write “Starving Children” on the outside. I assume the Post Office knows what to do with that.
Hmm. Methinks Burt Likko doth protest too much. You’re eating Thousand Island right now, aren’t you?Report
Never. NE-VER.
Lips that touch thousand island dressing … well, I suppose they can touch mine, at some point, but I’d rather the owner of said lips brush her teeth after partaking of the foul orange stuff.Report
Unless it is on a Reuben.Report
Of course.
But even there, it should be used sparingly. You should never feel it goosh out when you take a bite.Report
The Reuben is fascinating. Take the most basic sandwich, a roast beef and American cheese on white bread with a little mayo. Then replace each of the ingredients with something that would make you think it was spoiled.Report
I LedOL, even though I love a turkey Reuben.Report
Oh, just you wait! Definitely in my notes to explore in upcoming articles. 🙂
And to think I put off doing this series for a year because I thought it was a dumb idea that no one would be interested in.Report
We used to have debates on this site about things like “what should be on the Mount Rushmore of meats?”. Personally I think the offbeat topics are healthy for us. They let us go over the top on some silly things.Report
What WAS on the Mt. Rushmore of meat??Report
Suggested Google search:
mount rushmore site:ordinary-times.comReport
I like it on an actual salad about once every 5 years. On a sandwich it is way too over-powering, hence why I ask for mustard on a Reuben.Report
You guys got me thinking about this whole Thousand Island conundrum.
There’s an entire swath of Western states where variants of Thousand Island are a pretty big thing. Mixing ketchup and tartar, Utah fry sauce – those things I would really consider to be a regional cuisine of the Northwest and Intermountain West. Definitely something that feels really widespread to me having grown up with it my whole life! I betcha I eat some sort of variation on Thousand Island weekly and I’m actually surprised it seems so unusual! But that’s why it’s fun to talk about, to learn how everyone does it just a little differently.Report
The thousand island I am used to has than tangy element, plus the pickle relish. I love pickles but it’s also why I don’t like tartar sauce. Too over-powering. Mayo mixed with ketchup is fine. I think that’s the normal sauce on a patty melt, right?Report
I object to Thousand Island and Mayo as things of the devil.
I’ve never been much for dressings like that. Not even Ranch. When I do salads, I prefer to dress them in salt, pepper, olive oil, and lemon or lime juice (no vinegar). For sandwiches, a Cubano is the rulling sandwich followed by Pastrami on Rye with mustard.Report
I don’t like mustard, but I’m a big fan of ham and pork, and putting them both on a sandwich is just…it’s right. It’s just right. Bacon is the bronze medal winner when it comes to the pig’s contribution to sandwiches.Report
Mustard can be good sometimes. Particularly with a fatty pork. I like it with something sweet in a vinegar-based sauce or dressing too, but that’s not just the mustard talking there.Report
I cannot stand ranch dressing. I have never understood how it turned into such a thing.Report
Is Miracle Whip an acceptable substitute for mayo?Report
Some folks just want to see the world burn.Report
But it’s got Tangy Zip.Report
I like Miracle Whip, actually. But I realize I am a minority, same as with my preference for Pepsi over Coke.
(Why yes, I am spoiling for a fight today, why do you ask?)Report
Um hello, Dr. Pepper?Report
No.Report
Pepsi over Coke? You’re a witch! Burn her! Burn her!Report
abominationReport
When I was growing up my mom ONLY bought Miracle Whip. She called it “mayonnaise” and used it like most people use mayonnaise, and so my sister and brother and I thought it WAS mayonnaise. We didn’t know there was a whole other thing called mayonnaise. So once we grew up and left home, eventually we encountered actual, real live mayonnaise and we were all like “what is this stuff, is it butter? why is everyone putting butter on meat sandwiches for? and why is it so delicious” Lo and behold, we found out there was actually an entirely different condiment known as mayonnaise and that Miracle Whip was an imposter!Report
Wow that was the same in my house, and then when I got older I found out how cheated I’d been.Report
In my house it was that with margarine being called butter. You could almost excuse that because margarine can be parve if you ignore how often we ate cheeseburgers.Report
Yep totally. Margarine was butter and butter was something only old people who wanted heart attacks bought. We were being so healthy by making chocolate chip cookies with our giant tubs of Gregg’s Gold N Soft “butter”.
In my old cookbooks I always love it when margarine is called “oleo”.Report
Oleo baby!
https://youtu.be/9IY29EZb1pIReport
That was awesome, AG. Thanks.Report
Oh my… hearing the word “oleo” is like getting a hug from my grandma.Report
Miracle Whip was a lower-cost alternative to mayo introduced during the Depression. It was what we had when I was a kid because it was what my dad had grown up with.Report
it’s bizarre because it’s more expensive now. I still prefer The Whip Of Miracles for tuna salad sandwiches and deviled eggs and I usually gasp in horror at the price of it!Report
I think I grew up believing miracle whip was basically the same as mayonnaise. I don’t think I noticed the taste difference until I got older.
I will say that I never understood why they called it a “salad dressing.” I couldn’t fathom plopping a bunch of that stuff onto lettuce and eating the lettuce.Report
I have this collection of old cookbooks and there are salads in it that are just a wedge of iceberg smeared with Miracle Whip and sprinkled with paprika. My mom was big into the MW paprika combo, she would sprinkle her tomato/MW salad with paprika when we had company.
Stuff like this is coming back into fashion too, those darn hipsters.Report
I worked at a deli during college and we made our waldorf salad with miracle Whip. I think it worked with that because it’s unique flavor went well the apples. I also think those kinds of dishes are why they call it a ‘salad dressing’.Report
Yeah. In a lot of my much older cookbooks “salad” is not what we picture with leaves and stuff but are more often cooked vegetables/chopped celery/fruit based, like a Waldorf salad. Makes sense, since it’s unlikely any of our great-grandmothers, or grandmothers either for that matter, had access to fresh greenery for much of the year.
My mom also makes a concoction with peas, onion, bacon, cheese, and Miracle Whip. The flavor of the Miracle Whip really helps the entire thing along. Putting mayo in it makes it way too bland. So maybe they knew what they were doing with that salad dressing moniker.
Then on the other hand, sometimes they frost Jello salads with Miracle Whip. The lunatics were clearly in charge of the asylum.Report
Growing up ‘salad’ only meant one thing in my family: lettuce and vegetables. After I married into a family from Ohio I learned there were also fruit salads and jello salads. My MIL makes some crazy jello salads. Stuff with carrots in it, nuts, all kinds of weird items. She has never done the Miracle Whip on top, but she did say it was common when she was younger. In my family Jello was only for when you were sick.Report
Follow your bliss, RR.Report
I do love a good club sandwich! No tomato though, because gross, and I don’t care what brand of mayo is used. And yes, three slices of bread, or GTFO.
This fun (and useful! I’m gonna make that bread) post inspires me to wax poetic about my favorite sandwich, which I just ate for lunch, with gusto:
The French Dip.
Soooo good. The cheese must be ample and melty (I like provolone), and there must be horseradish sauce slathered on to really good, hearty hoagie roll. Quality beef is also key, no disappointing gristly, fatty slices. Take that deliciousness and dip it into the most important part, the au jus, which cannot be vaguely beef flavored water; it needs that good beefy, salty flavor.
The one I just ate hit the marks perfectly.Report
I don’t like store-bought tomatoes on sandwiches. Doesn’t matter what kind, what time of year. Tomatoes from grocery stores don’t taste like tomatoes and they’re usually kind of pulpy.
Tomatoes from someone’s garden – that’s a whole different thing. I’ll put those on just about any kind of sandwich. Given real garden tomatoes, one of my favourite sandwiches is peanut butter and tomato. Awwww yeah.Report
Oh I have a whole repertoire of French Dip recipes (The French Drip! The French Glop! The Italian Dip!) up my sleeve still. One of my faves too – I like French Dips wayyyy better than Clubs.Report
I did not realize before this comment that Em and I are soul mates. This is all completely true.
Burt once took me to a place in LA that serves the platonic ideal of the French Dip . There wasn’t one bite of it that was gristly or extra-chewy.Report
Cue video of Mike and I running across a field of wild flowers toward one another, meeting at a table set with two delicious French Dips, and nary a tomato in sight.Report
Have you ever had Italian beef sandwiches? I’d never heard of them until I moved to Big City, but I love them. They’re kind of like French dip, but kind of not.Report
Growing up in Chicago the Italian Beef was just a thing I took for granted… like air. Having moved, I can’t understand why I can’t get a decent Italian Beef anywhere else… there are Italians and there is Beef… but Italian Beef exists only in Chicago. Like Pizza.Report
Chicago is junk food heaven! Nothing better than a juicy beef from Johnny’s in Elmwood Park.Report
Nothing wrong with microwaving bacon.
You know how, when you bake the bacon, you put tinfoil under the bacon or find yourself wishing you had? When you microwave it, put a piece of paper towel on top of the bacon or find yourself wishing you had. Same deal.
I mean, if it’s cold and you want to warm up the kitchen and have half an hour to kill, sure, bake the bacon in the oven. If you just want evenly cooked crisp bacon with the minimal amount of time and fuss, microwave it.
Also, mayonnaise. Apparently mildly felt opinions on mayonnaise are rare – you either love it enough to stand up for it in a fistfight, or you hate it enough to throw it out the window even if you can’t get the window open first.
I used to be firmly in the latter camp. I am going soft in my old age or something, as I’ll now eat it without distaste, should someone put it on a sandwich for me. I can even put it on a sandwich I’m making for someone else without feeling revulsion. I’m still not going to put it on my own sandwich though.Report
I have a weird dilemma with microwave bacon. I have solar power and our microwave sucks power like a Marvel comics villain so it’s actually easier and more economical for me most of the time, to use the oven (which is propane). And for me even with the paper towel trick the grease seems to get everywhere. :/
I am both intrigued and repulsed by your peanut butter and bacon concept.
My mom’s go-to summer salad consisted of garden tomatoes slathered with…Miracle Whip.Report
I never did get into peanut butter as an accompaniment to sweet things – PB & J, PB & honey, etc. PB on celery (i.e. the log, with or without the ants) is nice. PB in savory peanut sauces is nice.
I don’t get the PB that has added in it – just the kind that’s ground up roasted peanuts, with or without salt. Sweetened PB might not go well with tomatoes.
(EDIT: was that a typo on your part? I didn’t suggest PB and bacon. I can see how it might be good, but it wasn’t my suggestion. PB and tomato is one of my favourites).Report
Recently I was in a position to overhear my daughter explaining to granddaughter #1, “It’s very nice that you want to make grandpa a peanut-butter sandwich for lunch, but grandpa doesn’t like peanut butter. He’s never liked peanut butter.” Pause for a question I couldn’t hear. “No, grandpa doesn’t like peanut-butter cookies.” Another pause. “No, grandpa doesn’t like Reese’s Pieces. How about if we make him a nice tuna-fish sandwich instead?”Report
Yes, it totally was a typo, because I’ve been reading about tons of sandwiches and PB and bacon is A Thing. Intrigued by PB and tomato, I meant to say.
Check out this monstrosity https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fool%27s_Gold_LoafReport
The ‘official’ Elvis Sandwich is bread, PB, banana and bacon and then grilled like a grilled cheese. We made them once at our house and it was both delicious and horrifying.Report
I just want to leave this here:
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyFvGL3Z5F8&w=560&h=315%5DReport
When I was going over my notes for my hopefully-next article I realized I had left out the chips in the middle of the sandwich in this!! Definitely a prerequisite of the Club Sandwich Club.
Everybody, put chips in the middle of your sandwich triangles!
And thank you, that was hilarious!Report
There is (I am not making this up) a source file where I work with the comment:
Report
Fun post, thanks.
Being more science-y baking generally yields better to exactitude than, broadly construed, cooking. So I generally think of savory recipes more as method than precise amounts of this and that. Past experience suggests that anytime anyone says to me, “this is THE way to make this dish” I’m likely to disagree, at least in principal.
So my quibbles:
If you’re going to make bread, by all means make you own, glorious mayo!
About bread… since it is baking, it is quite amenable to exact proportions – just not volume, but by weight. If in the process of making bread your usual way you weigh you ingredients, and write down the results, you will have a completely reliable recipe for future use. For elaboration, check out Rose Levy Beranbaum’s The Bread Bible.
Three slices of bread, obviously!
If we’re making our bread AND mayo, looing for perfection, then yes by all means just picked garden tomatoes, preferably Brandywines! A bit messy maybe, but the taste!Report
I know people always tell me “weigh your flour if serious about bread” and I’m like “what if you’re serious about bread, but are also lazy?”
Thanks for reading and for the tips!Report
I do not find weighing flour to require any more effort than using measuring cups.Report
But first I would have to procure a scale! And learn a new skill set after all these years of fluffing and scooping and leveling. It feels insurmountable.
You guys are right, I should weigh, I should weigh!!!Report
While others have questioned your seriousness about bread making, I do not. And, I seriously doubt you are lazy…resistant to doing things you enjoy differently? Sure. Just saying, weighing is in fact easier.Report
But but but – baking recipes are not portable.
The folks who write the Joy of Cooking, for example, live in New England, where it’s pretty humid. We live in northern Alberta, where it’s very dry. Any time a recipe in the Joy of Cooking calls for making dough, we need significantly more liquid than they suggest.Report
Baking can be challenging because of this. You have to learn by feel. I still haven’t got there but my mom can totally judge how much flour bread needs based on how it “feels.”
Also, I have seen many people advocate weighing flour rather than using a measuring cup. I have a small balance but weighing flour is also messy when you’re clumsy like I am.Report
Yes the mess factor definitely plays into it for me, too. Bread can be quite messy as it is and I picture myself with flour a flying.
Interestingly, there’s a not-small group of women out there who in addition to all the stated concerns above, can’t have scales in their house due to recovering from eating disorders (not me, clients). It’s a trigger for them. I actually discourage women from having food scales because I’ve seen so many people who are totally hung up on weighing their food. Since I have a daughter who already seems concerned about weight and overeating at the age of 6 (thanks PBS kids) I’d prob. forgo it for that reason alone.Report
Yeah, lack of humidity and altitude. I live outside Denver. Not all stuff rises the same way it does at sea level. And water boils at 203 °F, which is enough to make a bit of a difference.Report
Yeah, see that’s where I think my hang up is. I actually like learning new kitcheny things, but breadmaking is so much of a “by feel” thing that I’m not sure learning to weigh is worth my time because it’s so dry here in the summer but then it rains in the spring and fall but then in then in the winter we make fires and it’s dry again. It actually does really affect the end result with the bread. I’m used to just scooping little by little till the dough looks right.Report
Bread making by hand, more than just about any other form of cooking, is very sensual. I would never want to loose that. That’s how I made bread for 25 years. But once I tried weighing I found the control over the process, and the ability to produce various effects fairly easily quite worth the minor sensual loss. After all. I eschew mixers, use a big spoon until its unwieldly, and then dive in and finish the mixing and move to the kneading by hand. Just as weighing is more accurate and efficient, so is using a mixer. But only physical infirmity will make me get a Kitchen Aid.
There can be great value in doing thigs the way you’ve always done them. I get that. That pleasure is its own reward and well worth a level of cost.
But I’ve been weighing bread ingredients for over 15 years and the variations from oppressive summer humidity to the bone dry interior conditions of the heating season make no difference to how well it works.
Do what makes you happy. Back in the day, Barbara taught me how to make Barbara’s Good Bread, a flexible process that worked for us for a long time. But once I wanted to expand my bread horizons, the control and reproducibility weighing allows became irresistible,Report
Loved this post Kristin and also thank you from me for something light-hearted after the last couple of weeks. I don’t have strong feelings on club sandwiches. They are delicious and I would never turn one down if given to me, but I never order them either. My wife does though and i will be sharing this with her tonight.
On mayo – my two favorites are Duke’s and Kewpie but I have recently started using Hellman’s Vegan mayo when I cook for my daughter and it actually has a good tangy taste. I really like it in potato salad.
Can’t wait to see the next post in this series!Report
I have just learned of both Dukes and Kewpie – definitely on my list to try!
Thanks for reading and commenting!Report
Am slightly sad no one has weighed in on the clear superiority of Duke’s mayonnaise. (AKA The South’s Own Mayo).
I am a Damn Yankee (and my voice will never lose its northern burr, and I cannot get used to the concept of “you rag on someone when you like them”) and even I recognize that Duke’s is better than Hellmann’s. I ate Hellmann’s (well, when I was eating mayonnaise – I was a picky child) for the first 30-odd years of my life, but when a Southern Living article praised Duke’s, I was like, “no, it can’t be that great” and bought a jar to try.
It is that great. I would even bother to make my own pimiento cheese if I could use Duke’s in it.Report
See my comment below. If it’s a sandwich where the mayo really needs to shine, I will only use Duke’s. A summer tomato sandwich without it is just wrong.
And “you rag on someone when you like them”… I was involved with a year-long project in New Hampshire a few years ago, and one the our local employees asked me why the guys from Kentucky were so mean to each other. When I explained we were actually all good friends they were perplexed. Prior to that, I thought northerners invented breaking each other’s balls.Report
I don’t know about Northeasterners, but it’s not something Midwesterners do.
Also, growing up as a bullied kid, someone busting my chops makes me immediately go into defensive mode. My colleagues learned this fast and quit doing it, but sometimes people that don’t know me well still do.Report
I could see that. Louisville is situated in such a weird place geographically and culturally that we get a lot of midwestern influences. That midwesterner tendency to not hurt people’s feelings is pretty strong, but I guess we make an exception for razzing our friends.Report
Yep, you never leave that behind.
Something someone told me once that has never left me is “If you meet a defensive person, remember they got that way because at some point in their life, they were attacked”. And it’s totally true.Report
Yeah, I once had a colleague say something, and then immediately looked at me and said, “Oh, sh*t, I’m sorry, that was one of your things, wasn’t it?” and I was like “yeah, but you apologized, so we’re cool.”
I’m slowly getting better at not curling up like a sea anemone that’s been poked when someone teases me, but when I’m not in a strong place mentally, I still sometimes revert.Report
It’s good that the people around you understand that. I totally relate to the sea anemone analogy – it’s as if my vocal cords and even brain cease to function when people yell or get weird with the teasing. Really kind of a handicap when dealing with difficult people because all they have to do is start yelling and that’s the end of that.Report
I had literally never heard of Dukes until maybe 2 weeks ago, believe it or not. I am gonna have to give that a go.
Now pimiento cheese is AWESOME. My mom put Miracle Whip in that too.Report
While I like the tradition of the third piece of bread in a club sandwich, I also dislike sandwiches that are too big to eat like sandwiches (I feel the same way about burgers, too). Smooshing it down is too much work for me, and I don’t think eating food should be work. I rarely eat crabs legs because of this principle; they’re good, but I’m not sure that they’re worth the work. I first started cooking because when I complained about the house burgers my mom made, she told me, “If you don’t like them, make your own.” So I did.
And I love sandwiches. I’ll get a club now and then, especially since they’re relatively simple sandwiches without an overload of ingredients. The Italian grinders we serve here (alas, no Italian beef) are great simple sandwiches: spicy sausage, mustard, shredded lettuce, and your choice of cheese(s).Report
Exactly! I want to enjoy it, not walk away with TMJ and food all over my shirt.
Same with ribs with the bone in them. I don’t care how good they are, it’s so much effort for what you get.Report
Crab legs are worth the effort, IMO.
Chicken wings and ribs are not.Report
If there is effort involved in your Rib eating… then the Ribs are not very good.
Friends don’t let friends eat bad Ribs.Report
But the mess…Report
Someone should open a ribs restaurant where they issue you a loaner shirt.Report
Ugh, and a private room, because I don’t want to people watching me sitting there with sauce smeared across my face like a Glasgow smile.Report
In the Shenandoah Valley we eat our ribs with a knife and fork… we’re not Texans.Report
I don’t mind the mess of wings and @Marchmaine is right: getting to the meat shouldn’t be hard (but I prefer brisket to ribs if I’m having barbecue)Report