by Guest Author Kelly Todd
Today’s posts seem to be clogging the League with political dissertations and proclamations of one sort or another. Is democracy good? Is the separation of powers evil? Are man’s rights naturally descended from the Divine, or granted by the mercy of the State?
Blah, blah, blah.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s a time and a place for chewing the fat over political philosophy. Mind you, that time and place was back in your sophomore dorm room after sharing a bowl – but hey! Live and let live, right? But there’s more to life than systems of government, the nature of man and arcane political texts – much more.
There is the the earthy smell of fresh rain in a virgin forest. There is the soft bite that hits the back of your throat after your first sip of 80 year-old scotch. There is the sugary kiss of Spring’s first strawberry. There is the racing of blood that flushes your cheeks as you fall into a young lover’s embrace. More importantly, there are the sounds – the sublime, aural reasons for living – that can deliver all of these sensations in five-minute increments, like symphonies of the human spirit itself.
I speak, of course, of the magical works of jazz’s greatest master – Kenny G.
Kenneth Bruce Gorelick’s contribution to music is as astounding as it is prolific. His ability to play constant, unending scales – “noodling,” as his fans call his style – is indeed impressive. (Kenny has mastered a breathing technique called circular breathing, initially developed by players of the didgeridoo, which allows him to noodle for surprisingly long stretches!) He has recorded no less than 14 studio albums; the songs on these albums are also used on his additional 10 different greatest hits albums. Add to these three additional live albums of his greatest hits and six different Holiday albums and it’s clear just how prolific an artist Kenny is.
His albums sell considerably better than other jazz artists; in fact, no jazz performer has sold more. Randians and other free market worshipers that frequent the League will immediately recognize this as proof that he is a far superior jazz musician than other so-called-artists such as Miles Davis, Dexter Gordon, Duke Ellington or Wynton Marsalis.
As you can imagine, with such an enormous body of work, the variance in styles from piece to piece is sweeping; sometimes it is hard to believe that the many different bits of Kenny’s oeuvre come from the same man. For example, fans of his will recognize the quick tempo swing that cuts through his biggest hit, Songbird:
Compare that to the more contemplative, Stravinsky-esque Sentimental – with it’s haunting off-beat counter melodies – and it’s hard to believe you’re hearing the same artist:
Or, for a more silly, devil-may-care Gershwin playfulness, try sampling a bit of Breathless:
Finally, just because Kenny is a “commercial artist” doesn’t mean that the “artist” follows the “commercial!” For those that like their music brooding with deep and passionate political statements, the song Always shows Kenny in all his hard core fury, bringing a rough edge that one might associate more with heavy metal than smooth jazz:
In Obama’s America, we are surrounded by a dying culture that seems to endlessly crank out crass, cookie-cutter, passionless, commercial dreck and declare it Music. It’s enough to drive a man to despair. Or at least it would be, if we didn’t have Kenny G dishing up the soundtrack to our lives, our loves and our dreams.
Truly, he is the Michael Bolton of American Jazz.
What’s the difference between Kenny G and an Uzi?
—an Uzi only repeats itself 600 times per minuteReport
Well played, Kelly.
(Damn, I really didn’t meant to pun.)Report
Great closing line. I think you won the internets for the week.Report
My eyes! The burning!Report
By the way, I’m going to step up and defend poor ol’ MIchael Bolton. He may not be our generations [insert great crooner of old], but at least the man has a sense of humor about himself.Report
supergreat! Have you ever heard of Aristotle? Plato? Socrates? …MORONS!Report
this post contains such savage and ironic ferocity that it makes merzbow look like a backrub.Report
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Merzbow
(i lean more towards the pan sonic side of pain myself)Report
Personally, I celebrate his entire catalog.Report
With the obligatory G-Shrine, I hope?Report
“Personally, I celebrate his entire catalog.”
For an artiste of KG’s stature, the proper word is “ouevre”Report
Kenny G sounds like Jim Davis (or Thomas Kinkade) with a saxophone. He pisses everyone off because he’s just so straight-up “yeah, I’m playing to the market, I’m doing this for the money.” It’s not like people don’t do just-for-the-money jobber work; we’re just all supposed to pretend like that’s not where our career’s ended up. It seems like a waste of trust, almost; like everyone in his life was all “I’m preparing you to be a pure artist” and he looked at all that and said “no thanks, I’ll just take the money”. Like someone who takes a fifteen-year culinary education in France and uses it to make prepackaged snack cakes for Wal-Mart.
Report
Kenny G-Spot just ripped off the true god of sax John Klemmer.
Now who would you rather listen to while making love?Report
…my wife?Report
+1
Had to bite my tongue AND cross my fingers while sitting on hands to refrain from all the jokes I could riff off that line.Report
One word: Transplendant!!Report
“Randians and other free market worshipers that frequent the League will immediately recognize this as a sign that he is a far superior.”
Wasn’t Roark the less popular architect?Report
Yeah, the Objectivists didn’t believe in subjective preferences, the believed there was a right kind of music to like and people who didn’t like that music were irrational.Report
I concur with the post. It is KG’s rejection of the avant-garde, his wilingness to explore the same thematic tropes repeatedly and unironically, his rythmic and melodic, dare I say it?, conservatism, that makes him America’s permier artiste; the one that truly represents our unique and exceptional weltanschauung.
It’s why you always hear his music played in Wal-martReport
Awesome.Report
So he ironically mocks the pretense of ironic nonseriousness by being as square as possible? GENIUS!Report
I don’t know whether I found the casual acknowledgement of a Kenny G “oeuvre” funnier than “… hard core fury, bringing a rough edge that one might associate more with heavy metal than smooth jazz…”
Brilliant.Report
This was splendid. And it made me very uncomfortable to even think someone could write such glowing things about Kenny G. Even in jest.Report
Ich liebe Kenny G. Wir machen ähnliche Musik mit unserer Jazzband Indigo.Report