86 thoughts on “Thursday Night Bar Fight #15: It’s a trap!”

  1. A huge part of this is just going to be figuring out how to best use Bryan Cranston, Idris Elba, Michael K Williams, and Jon Hamm. That said, Aaron Paul is my Luke Skywalker, hands down. How do people feel about Nathan Fillion playing Han Solo, since Malcolm Reynolds is about 70% Han Solo to start with?Report

  3. Re: [2]
    Yes.

    As for me and my brain, we’re tumbling over the whole “Who is going to play Ben Kenobi?” question. I’m thinking a guy who was known as a “real” actor in the 3, maybe 4, decades prior but has pretty much mostly disappeared since. Some stage work in there (if not Shakespeare), some lighter fare too… but mostly surprising because he’s, like, a really, really good actor in the middle of this dreck.

    Ralph Richardson is dead. Which sucks. Crap, so is Nigel Hawthorne.
    Sam Shepard? Is he disqualified?Report

  6. I’m unhappy about your no movie actors rule, because I think Seth Green would be perfect to play the Ewoks (all of them). And I don’t watch enough actual scripted TV to play by the rules.Report

      1. Really? I had no idea. What’s he been in? (I only know him from Up the Creek, some other movie I can’t recall, and seemingly lots of movie promos. He’s one of those I can’t help but notice because he’s instantly irritating…much like the Ewoks.)Report

  7. 1) I find it so charming that you have no idea what movies Sarah Michelle Gellar has been in. It makes me feel ever so slightly less out of touch with humanity, if only by comparison. (I loved her in “Cruel Intentions,” and there have been a handful of very successful horror flicks.)

    2) The only casting choice I know I want for sure is Tina Fey playing Princess Leia.Report

      1. That would work. But if we’re going to go this route, then I want Ed O’Neill involved in some prominent manner.

        Also, the dude who played Clay Davis in The Wire needs to be Lando Calrissian regardless of the direction we take the rest of the cast.Report

      3. I can’t comment on the dude in The Wire, but I was kind of thinking of Ice-T’s character from :aw and Order as Lando Calrissian. Billy Dee Williams always seem too nice, even when he was doing bad. Ice-T always seems bad, even when he’s being nice.Report

    3. @russell-saunders

      “Cruel Intentions” is one of my guilty pleasure movies. And only a small part of that is due to SMG.

      I should also note I was briefly in love with a girl because of her resemblance to SMG. Of course, I don’t remember her name.Report

  8. How about Jeff Goldblum to play Han Solo? His lack of smoothness and element of creepiness would make for a great re-visioning of the character.Report

      1. Oh, yeah. Well, I already admitted I’m not competent to play this game by the rules.

        OK, how about Donal Logue? Or to make Han Solo particularly creepifyingly unnerving, Kevin Corrigan. (Both from “Grounded For Life,” a sadly under-rated show.)Report

      2. He plays Ruxin’s dad on The League. I’d say he fits–I can’t think of a prominent movie role he’s had recently, although I’m bad at movies.Report

      2. Dude, I’m doing everything I can to lose my geek card (though I knew it was Han, because when I was a kid, my next door neighbor, who had the heaviest Tennessee accent you’ve ever heard, would yell, “HAY-un” when we played Star Wars).Report

  9. Matt Saracen (Zach Gilford) for Luke Skywalker. Can do both gawky/naive/plucky, and we know he can cover bad/absentee father anguish for the whole “THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE!” scene.Report

  10. If we are going for television actors, and considering that Luke and Leia are both kind of young (you can see at least Star Wars as a coming of age trilogoy), I’d say we should raid the Disney channel for actors for at least Luke and Leia. Maybe even Han but I can’t see anybody bellow 25 playing Han Solo well. I’d argue that Han should be at least 30 even if this makes his relationship with Leia squicky.Report

      1. No but I’m assuming that the young actors are easy on the eye but don’t have much in the way of acting ability. This might simply be the director’s fault or the fault of the requirements of Disney rather than reflecting a genuine lack of talent. When it comes to bad acting, the director is often at fault.Report

      3. Yeah, but we have no confidence the directing would be any better. Witness the performance Natalie Portman turned in. She’s capable of doing good work (I haven’t seen “Black Swan,” but heard that she really did earn that Oscar) and I’ve seen larches with more emotional resonance than she displayed in the entire prequel trilogy.Report

      5. Thats my point Tod, I want to preserve the feel of the original as much as possible. Lucas was able to turn out some pretty ham-fisted performances from genuinely talented actors besides Mark Hamilll’s less than compelling portrayal as Luke. We want the new generation to have experience as close as possible to the first generation/Report

  12. The fact that there’s really only two actresses to cast (Leia and Mon Mothma) is kind of lame.

    If you were going to do a re-jiggering of things, Katie Sackhoff would make a great female Han Solo. This would have a cascade effect on some other things…Report

      1. One thing about the age dynamic: I didn’t want to go with Fillion or Fey because they’re both too old.

        No offense, you two, if you’re reading this, but Luke is supposed to be like 18 or something. I’d be hard pressed to see a whiny teenager as Tina Fey’s twin brother.

        Han, on the other hand, is older. I think Katie could pull off “sardonic”Report

    2. “The fact that there’s really only two actresses to cast (Leia and Mon Mothma) is kind of lame.”

      As a reminder: other than the rule about using television actors, you have full control over casting. You are allowed to cast Oprah as Darth Vader, or Maisie WIlliams (the actress who plays Arya Stark on GoT*) as Luke.

      * Speaking of which… I know I don’t usually chime in on TNBFs, but writing that makes me think that casting Peter Dinklage as R2D2 would be great, especially if you cast a Black-Adder-III-era Rowan Atkinson as C3PO. Just the scenes where the two of them banter and insult one another would be worth making the entire movie.Report

      2. I considered that. Then I thought, even seeing Dinklage’s facial expressions, eye rolls and smirks as he said out loud, “Beep. Beep-beep whistle, little-noise beep” in that droll voice of his would be pretty awesome.Report

  16. I’m having fun imagining all the bit parts.

    Remember when Luke turns off his targeting computer, and the guy asks him what’s wrong, and when Luke replies “Nothing”, they’re showing some nameless old guy with a headset who’s got a “WTF?” expression on his face?

    Tom Selleck, right there.

    After Han Solo plugs Greedo and they do the sweep cam of the bar, and there’s the guy smoking the hookah who looks away with the, “What a rookie” expression? Benedict Cumberbach.

    The fat guard who gets all teary when the rancor gets killed? Louis CK.Report

  18. Go with all new faces. These people will be stepping into roles which will leave them typecast for the rest of their lives.Report

  20. I’m just going to go all Lost, in mostly the same characters.

    Jack – Luke
    Kate – Leia
    Sawyer – Han (how good would that be?)
    Mr. Eko – Darth Vader (the only physically intimidating cast member I can think of)
    Hurley – Chewbacca (the thought that inspired this list)
    Locke – The Emperor
    Desmond – Londo
    Charlie – C3POReport

  21. Staring:
    Keke Palmer as Princess Leia
    Tristan Wilds as Luke Skywalker
    Daniel Sunjata as Han Solo (alternative: Aisha Tyler)
    Jaleel White as C3PO

    also starting
    Blair Underwood as Grand Moff Tarkin
    Dennis Haysbert as Emperor Palpatine

    special appearances by
    Nichelle Nichols as Mon Mothma
    Bill Cosby as Uncle Owen and Phylicia Rashad as Aunt Beru

    Featuring Patrick Warburton, as Darth Vader’s Voice

    and introducing Nathan Fillion as “Lando Calrissian”Report

  22. He probably deserves more than a bit part, but I’m recommending Charles Dance for Grand Moff Tarkin based on his performance as Tywin Lannister in Game of Thrones.Report

  23. There’s a longer version of that satirical video somewhere, which talks about the fact that records show Luke’s targeting computer wasn’t even _turned on_, which means there’s not only no way he could have hit his target, but there’s no record of whether he did or not.

    And then there’s the suspicious fact that Biggs, a known associate of Luke’s, went off to join the Imperials, but then immediately ‘defected’ and joined the rebels, at which point he participated in the attack on the Death Star, and was personally shot down by Vader. Was he a cutout between Vader and the rebels, passing messages back and forth,and killed because he knew too much? Another unknown man in a stormtrooper uniform was involved in the transfer of Leia to the Correllian freighter, was it him?

    And let’s not even get into the Kenobi connection, who mentored both Luke and Vader, and the fact there’s absolutely no evidence he’s really dead as is claimed.Report

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