Thursday Night Bar Fight #15: It’s a trap!
Good news, everyone!
Scientists have discovered… um… this thing? Maybe related to an alien, or a superhero or something? Or, I dunno, maybe… uh… a time machine?
Ah, screw it. It’s late and I’m tired and I’ve been writing three articles at once and so my brain really hurts, plus I have about 1,500 words on us going to war in Syria that I have to scrap now thanks to the fact that it’s all working out with diplomacy. So I’m just skipping the whole fantastic scenario for this week’s bar fight because I can’t think of one to frame around the question. Let’s just dig in, shall we?
We are preparing to shoot a remake of the three original Star Wars movies: Star Wars-Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, and the one with all the damn Ewoks. Your job is to cast the movies. You may feel free to cast the major characters (e.g.: Darth Vader), or the minor ones (e.g.: Wedge Antilles), or even ones who I am pretty sure were never meant to have names but who many people on the Internet seem to know the names for anyway (e.g.: the walrus guy who gets his arm cut off in the cantina). However, due to budgetary issues, we can only afford to hire TV actors.
And therein lies this Thursday Night Bar Fight quandary:
Which television actors will you cast for the new Star Wars trilogy remake?
Keep in mind that, as always, there are some additional rules and stipulations.
- Actors that are primarily known as movie actors are not eligible, even if they have appeared on television. The reverse is also true. So, for example, George Clooney is not allowed even though he was on E.R., while Sarah Michelle Gellar is allowed even though she has been in… um… whatever movies she’s actually been in. (She’s been in movies, right?)
- Regardless of how versatile the actor is, they will play the part similarly to how they play their TV role. Because of this, you need to let us know which version of the actor you are casting. After all, while you can certainly hire Brian Cranston to play the Emperor, you’d get two very different movies depending upon whether you hired the Walter White or the Malcolm’s-dad version of Brian Cranston.
- CGI and costume budgets will be limited, so even characters that you think of as being played by actors you can’t see will be played by actors in limited amounts of costume and makeup. This will be important to think about when casting for, say, Vader, Chewbacca or the droids.
- Feel free to steal castings fro your fellow commentors if you like a particular choice.
 There. Happy?