I know it’s election year for you guys and emotions are high and tempers are short. For our own health, sanity and for the sake of the community here, I appeal to the League to make an active effort to calm down. So instead of doing things that make each other angry, why don’t we try to make each other laugh. Let’s cheer each other up with jokes. Bonus points for originality. I’ll start off.
Descartes was the philosopher who famously said: I think therefore I exist. On his birthday, some of his friends decided to take him out for a night on the town. Since he had been working on his Meditations, he hadn’t had much time for female companionship. So, they took him to a bordello. Faced with so many women wearing next to nothing, blood rushed from his brain to his groin. For just one moment in his life he stopped thinking and in that moment he ceased to exist.
So, what’s the moral of the story?
Do not put Descartes before the whores!
Consider this an open thread.
oy. dat was bad. I still smiled thou.Report
There’s three guys on a hill. There’s a whorehouse at the top of the hill. One guy’s going up the hill, one guy’s going down the hill, one guy’s in the whorehouse. What are their nationalities?
Well, the guy going up the hill is Russian. The guy going down the hill is French. The guy in the whorehouse? Himalayan.Report
I’m probably being dense, but shouldn’t the second guy be Finnish?Report
Man, that’s racist.Report
“Hey, guys, meet the new recruit. Guys, this is Anakin. Anakin, this is Darth, Darth, Darth, Darth, and Darth.”
“What’s he called?”
“Anakin.”
“That’s going to cause some confusion. Is it OK if we call him Darth?”Report
Wow, you guys are too smart for me. This made me laugh:
http://icanhascheezburger.com/2012/03/20/funny-pictures-otters-benedict-cumberbatch/Report
I lawled.Report
I was feeling depressed and considering suicide, so I went to my priest and he reminded me that, in the eyes of the Church, if a man commits suicide, God does not allow him into the Kingdom of Heaven.
He then suggested a few ways I could make it look like an accident.Report
A pirate with a steering wheel on the front of his pants walks into a bar.
The bartender says “Hey, why do you have a steering wheel on the front of your pants?”
The pirate says “arrr, it’s drivin’ me nuts.”Report
Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.Report
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to your house…
…
…
Knock. Knock.
Who’s there?
THE CHICKEN! ~:> :-OReport
The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.Report
It’s so obvious, and yet still so funny. I nominate this FTW.Report
It’s perfect.Report
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The bartender says, “Is this some kind of joke?”Report
A rabbi walks into a bar with a duck on his head.
The bartender says “Where’d you get that?”
The duck says “Brooklyn, there’s hundreds of them.”Report
What kind of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic?
Iceberg!
(Too soon?)Report
What did the fish say when it ran into a concrete wall?
Dam!
what did the Buffalo say to his son as he went off to college?
BisonReport