Every morning while we’re getting our daughter ready for the day, my wife watches Saved By The Bell re-runs. It occured to me this morning how twisted that show’s morality was.
In many, many episodes, one of the main characters commits an act of theft, or fraud, or in some cases kidnapping. The response is to regard such acts as mere childhood pranks of little consequence – at most, Mr. Belding gives a “Now, Zack,” and maybe sends him to detention over the sound of the laugh track. But if the “good” kids of Bayside have a drink at a party, or use some quasi-legal drugs, we get an entire episode on the vast dangers and immorality of drugs and alcohol. To sum up, at Bayside High, theft, fraud, and kidnapping = barrel of laughs; drugs and alcohol = unforgivable sins.
UPDATE: Given the above, is it any wonder that after graduation, salutatorian Jesse Spanno went on to become a Vegas stripper who had coke-fueled sex with Kristen Davis’ TV husband in a pool, while goody-two-shoes Kelly Kapowski became Beverly Hills’ most infamous pot-addled conniving villainess? Or that superjock AC Slater grew up to be a leading example of the wussification of America, and valedictorian Screech Powers a pathetic wretch who couldn’t even hack it on a crappy weight-loss reality show?
I think you answered your own question.Report
You tell ’em, Mark. I never watched that show. I preferred MASH. See, in MASH drinking and womanizing were virtues of the highest order…though I’m sure Hawkeye was smoking reefer, too…Report
I will never forgive you for ruining Saved by the Bell for me, Mark.Report
Somebody had to do it, Will. Being forced to watch all these reruns has woken me up to the nefarious influence that show had on my generation. Plus, given how bad that show’s acting and direction were, and given its popularity amongst my generation, I think it can be at least indirectly blamed for the downfall of American culture over the last 20 years. Watch enough Saved By The Bell, and your music isn’t going to be influenced by Pearl Jam, punk rock, or The Sugar Hill Gang – it’s going to be influenced by the $#%^& Zack Attack. Similarly, I think I could create a direct line connecting Saved By The Bell and Ashton Kutcher’s ability to gross $200 million plus for “What Happens In Vegas…”
I should have also pointed out that the ringleader of the Bayside High Theft, Fraud, and Kidnapping Ring went on to join the NYPD, proving the old adage that the attributes that make a good criminal also make a good cop. Report