And the Padraig spoke, and he said unto the people, “For upon these days, men will come to you with fermented grain beverages that will be the color of the grass in the field. Should the color of the beverage be that of the wheat at the time of the harvest, thou shalt imbibe of the beverage with great joy and celebration. However, should the beverage be the color of the grass eaten by the beast of cloven hoof in the time of the spring foal’s birthing, those that bring you the beverage shall be stoned unto death, and shall be accursed unto seven generations.”
Enjoy your weekend.
And lo, the Leprechauns of the Lord emerged from their hidey holes and waxed wroth upon the Children of America, beating their knees and groinal regions most grievously with lumpy shillelaghs for their Crimes and Trespasses against both the Lord and Nature for their Sinful admixture of FD&C Green to the beer of the land. And God did smite the Children of America with boils and hangovers for daring to impersonate Irishmen upon the saint’s day of Padraig the Welshman.Report
I dunno what all y’all are doing with this green crap, but as far as I’m concerned it’s still St. Urho’s Day.Report
Trifle not with the Green Crap, nor with those who imbibe it, for the Lord hath forbidden it. For as St Urho did cast forth the Grass-Hopples into utter darkness and evict them from the Land of Sky Blue Waters, so shall the Impious be cast forth from the Land of the Free, they and all their plastic derby hats, yea and their little plastic four leaf’d clovers as well.Report
I’ve got to say I really don’t get the whole St Patrick’s day thing.Report
You’re just supposd to drink beer and make irish jokes.Report
I don’t like beer and my ancestors are the wrong kind of Irish. Actually that’s probably why I don’t get it.Report
Wear orange. It annoys people. Here, anyway.Report
I might even do that, if I owned anything orange.Report
fermented grain beverages that will be the color of the grass in the field
Surely Guinness is the colour of the coal in the cellar?Report
I always feel a little glum around St. Paddy’s Day. Mostly because my ancestry is English. English, and German, with extraordinary consistency. It reminds me of my boring roots. I like to say “I was born to be boring and to some degree or another oppressing.”Report