(Dman catches us up once again.)
Warriors receive bi-Partisan effort to thwart Express win for Thunderlips!!
The Warriors put aside the Partisan bickering inside their team to have a couple of great outings from DeSean Jackson and the Minnesota Defense. While Thunderlips is on the Express train to the bottom of the league with poor performances from AJ Green and the Steeler’ s so called “defense”. Week in Review’s very own Tu Nosi caught up with this week’s minority party, Coach Dman.
Tu: Another tough loss coach.
Dman: Yes, I thought I had this one when it was Green vs Sanders, but Green laid an egg on the field.
Tu: So, are you still confident in the team you drafted?
Dman: These guys will get it together. Green will not have many more off games and team has scored the sixth most points in the league.
Tu: You still have two losses under your belt.
Dman: True, but I played the best players and left no points on the bench. That is something.
Tu: Speaking of which. Aren’t you concerned with the lack of output from your bench? Won’t the bye weeks be very harsh to you, if they do not pick it up?
Dman: Aargh!
Tweak of the Week
Last week’s Squeak of the Week was Leveled even further as the Yahoos at Yahoo Sports take away a point from the Warriors who cry foul at this Partisan attempt to drag their team down to a Leveller playing field for all. Let’s check with the Week in Review Expert for a deeper look into what happened. Expert, “Sometimes the fantasy sports gods giveth, sometimes they taketh away.” Wow, that clears everything up. Thanks, Expert!
Freak of the Week
From scoring the third fewest points last week to a Tangible second highest point total this week, Scorned by the other teams, the Intangibles Marshalled their strength and gave a Royal beating so Malicious that the Prosecutors are looking to file charges. Tu is back in the Seattle again to talk with coach Jaybird.
Tu: Congratulations on a solid win this week. Even though you played the lowest scoring team, you did not need them to suck for the win.
Jaybird: It was a great win this week, Tu. We owe it all to the team captain.
Tu: Dare I ask who that is?
Jaybird: The lockerroom leader in charge of pulling wins out here, there, everywhere is no other than Tim Tebow. Don’t pay attention to whatever number the site says he has, we know he’s wearing #15.
Tu: Come on coach! You have Eddie Royal scoring 36, BrandonMarshal scores 27, and the Seattle Defense scores 25! Tebow scored nothing! Nada! Zip! Zero! How can he possibly be a team captain? He does not even have a contract with a team!
Jaybird: He doesn’t have to score. He just has to inspire his team to score on his behalf.
Tu: {Sputter} That’s it! Get me out of here!
Peak of the Week:
Brian’s Best Team went from being on the wrong end of the biggest blowout in the league to being on the right end of it. From losing by 34 points to winning by… this can’t be right… 87?
Oh, Pooh on you!
In an amazing show of contempt for THE Anointed Ones, Reba Demartino played one receiver short and still caught Pooh Bear with his head stuck in the cookie jar, causing the inhabitants of Ashdown Forest to Lynch the poor bear’s win away.
The Oracle Update:
It is not often that the Oracle can get it wrong starting on week one, but it did. Yahoo did its own Oracle no favors by fiddling with the scores, so a tie occurred between the Levellers and Partisan Warriors. So, two teams are out, how did everything else shape up?
The Tryhards: 9W – 2L
Acme Packers: 8W – 3L
WhoWouldJesusDraft?: 3W – 8L
Team Pooh Bear: 10W – 1L aka: The Anointed Ones
Partisan Warrior’s: 8W – 4L – -1T
Brian’s Best Team: 9W – 2L
Reba Demartino: 5W – 6L
DownSouth Dragons: 4W – 7L
The Uninitiated: 8W – 3L
MaliciousProsecutors: 4W – 7L
Merciless Monsters: 4W – 7L
Scorned Intangibles: 3W – 8L
Thunderlips Express: 5W – 6L
The Levellers: 6W – 6L – -1T
Team Sandcastle: 3W – 8L
The Nine Ten Eleven: 0W – 11L aka: Rocking the Donut
Two games, two projected losses, still undefeated.
The Oracle can kiss my butt.Report
I think it fun that Downsouth Dragons are predicted 4W-7L.
On my own predictions, i would have gone 0-11. But then, it looks like NFL had some weird happening on these couple weeks.Report
Yes, the Oracle is looking really shaky right now. It is tough to miss on two teams after the first week. Sadly the Oracle has been right about my team for the last two weeks. I hope she is right again for me this week. I might win a game then…Report
At the risk sounding mightily gloat-y
Your chances are truly remote-y.
the delivered wood crate
makes you feel all first rate…
you’ll be pancaked like Wile E. Coyote
I thought that a rhyme that bounced “coyote” off of “Quixote” was cheating.
Also: “catapult” doesn’t have any decent rhymes at all.Report
Week 1 I run into the P. Manning buzzsaw, and eke out a tie. As Liz Lemon would say, “What the what!” Week 2 Aaron Rogers can do no wrong, and my Cowboys decide to take a week off. Week 3 has one player, Megatron, that scares me. Which Calvin Johnson will show up Sunday, and, more importantly, which Matt Stafford will show up to throw to him? Week 3 is a win on paper, but we have to play the games, don’t we?Report
I wish dating was like fantasy football. I’m learning so much. I think I get why people like this stuff.Report
So far, today is pretty rough.Report
Yeah. Too many of my players are underperforming.Report
Aaand with that game, it looks like I’ll be the guy in the league who scored the least points who went up against the guy in the league who scored the most.
Crap.Report
And I made the mistake of benching the Pack. Though I admit I would trade being blown out by 80+ points again this week for a Packer win.Report