(And, by the way, what were the odds before yesterday that I would have ever been able to write that headline?)
I wanted to update readers who have been breathlessly following the Steven Seagal story I wrote about yesterday. As you all know by now, Congressmen Dana Rohrabacher and Steven King credit Hollywood’s leading Rennesaince man with being a key figure in talks with Russian officials regarding the Boston Marathon bombing suspect. Here are some new developments you should be aware of:
Update # 1
The meetings went so well that Russia is talking with the Master of Three Word Titles about becoming its international spokesman for its arms dealers.
According to Russian Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin,
“You [Steven] are ready to fight American (manufacturers) with your teeth and your intellect, and if Americans are prepared to promote and support you, that says we’re learning new ways to work on corporate warfare markets.”
I’m not a paid political strategist, so I’m going to just throw this nugget to Rohrabacher and King for free:
If you’re going to declare yourself the kindred spirit of a delusional hack and declare that Americans criticizing Russia’s government are “sinister,” you might want to make sure that the very next day it isn’t announced that he’s talking with that same government about becoming the spokesman for it’s hugely black-market arms industry.
Just a little something to tuck away for next time.
Update # 2
This is more of an interesting factoid, but did you know that Seagal traveling buddy Dana Rohrabacher – the same man noted that people who have criticized Putin are “sinister,” was the Reagan speechwriter that penned the famous Evil Empire speech? Only one theoretical boogeman at a time, I suppose.
Update # 3
Okay, this isn’t really an update. But in the earlier piece, when mentioning Lou Ferrigno I linked to a scene I found on YouTube of Ferrigno’s Hulk wrestling a bear. It doesn’t appear that anyone bothered to clock over and see it, which is a shame because it’s space awesome. So I”m going to just embed it here. It’s a few minutes long, but you should stick with it at least up to the part that involves bear-throwing, because it’s my new Favorite TV Moment Ever.
Love that video!
Particularly where the bear is thrown 300 feet into the air, then shakes its head and walks out of the river.Report
Greatest. Video. Ever.
My favorite part is at the end when the Hulk “smashes” the water with the same effect as a 7 year old doing the same in a pool (after launching a bear 500 feet). Real intimidating there Hulk.
Though the bear launch is awesome, too. (I can imagine an editor saying “Maybe we should just show the bear landing, instead of the obviously fake bear flying through the air. Ah screw it. Leave it in.”)
Man, TV has changed a whole lot in my lifetime. I distinctly remember thinking parts of that old show looked pretty cool.Report
My favorite part is the greek makeup coming off onto the bear.Report
I noticed that too!Report
Tod,
I didn’t realize there was a Congressman Stephen King. In your previous post, I just assumed that Seagal and the famous horror author were somehow involved in this whole deal. So much for my critical thinking skills!Report
Wow, I’m surprised you would think that Pierre, because having Dana Rohrabacher, Steven Seagal and Stephen King the writer going to meet Vladimir Putin would be silly.Report
I betcha after the diplomatic mission is over, King would write an 800 page report that’s entertaining and easy to read but ultimately says nothing of importance about what was accomplished.Report
I think this will pan out to be what Congressman King does as well.Report
There are actually two Steven Kings in Congress–the whack-a-doodle Seagal-loving one from Iowa, and the somewhat more sane one from NY.Report
What I want to know is why Chuck Norris isn’t involved.Report
Chuck Norris is what happens when diplomacy fails.Report
Funny I wouldn’t have changed a word of that except maybe switching diplomacy for sanity.Report
No, THAT is Steven Seagal. Sanity failed long ago. Diplomacy is all we have left.Report
And Clint Eastwood ranting at an empty chair. Frightening, innit?Report
You haven’t experience the true power of Seagal until you’ve heard him sing the appropriately titled ‘My God’.
I think this was the CD coverReport