Pretentious Popcorn
There’s only one thing that can kill the movies, and that’s education. — Will Rogers
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Constant Viewer — who, let’s face it, hasn’t been all that constant in his viewing lately — gave up trying to figure out what selection criteria the Criterion Collection uses somewhere around the time it became obvious that every Wes Anderson movie, however overwrought or vapid, would make the cut.
Well, what the hell, it’s their overpriced, pretentious DVD catalog, not his. Still, CV couldn’t help but get more than one chuckle from a wonderful collection of Fake Criterions, such as:
and
Whenever I tell people in my circle I don’t like Wes Anderson movies, they almost always call me stupid and tell me that only smart people get the jokes, to which I usually reply that I get the jokes, they just aren’t funny.Report
Pretentious popcorn, eh? If you’re really tired and going to the movies, or if you’re going to watch a really ‘tired’ movie, you could try the new popcorn — caffeinated, that is:
http://www.ethicsoup.com/2010/12/caffeinated-popcorn-the-latest-in-absurdities.htmlReport
You bunch of assholes. Go watch your Transformers movies. Tell me again how the work of Will Rogers has stood up of the years, now compare “The Third Man” (part of the Criterion Collection). Stop pissing all over Wes Anderson, at least he makes movies that are personal, nuanced, and artful instead of mindless James Cameron CGI blue monkey messes.Report
It’s hard even to begin to reply to something that confused. Do you seriously think the only alternative to Anderson is the likes of Cameron? (I am, by the way, currently pitching a movie in Hollywood, log line: “It’s just like Avatar, except it’s a western!”)
Do you contend that “the [significant] work of Will Rogers” was his movie work; and if you do, are you also of the impression that Richard Pryor’s best work was his movies? Or do you simply dislike the quote, in which case do you argue with jokes all that frequently?
As for The Third Man, the best argument against longstanding suspicions that Orson Welles was its ‘real’ director is the fact that, but for Welles’ cuckoo clock speech at the end, it’s really not a very good movie. (Just like most of the rest of Reed’s movies, for that matter.)
Here, by the way, are a few of Criterion’s other selections from the last 25 years: Armageddon, Beastie Boys Video Anthology, Che, Topsy-Turvy and Chasing Amy. Films for the Ages, every damned one of them!Report
Okay, I agree somewhat with the take on Wes Anderson- there are nice moments there, but not enough of them for me to watch any of his movies twice. I’m in agreement about how strange it is to compare Will Rogers to The Third Man. And certainly I agree that the choice shouldn’t be as stark as Wes Anderson or Michael Bay (which, incidentally, doesn’t even cover the American movies, much less every other film industry in the world).
But I’m at odds about the Criterion Collection. I agree that their DVDs are probably too pricey, but they’re nice collector’s items. More importantly, I’ve rented a ton of the Criterion DVDs in the last year and have discovered quite a few gems by picking movies that I know nothing about aside from that they’re in the Criterion Collection. Sure, there’s a few Michael Bay’s in there too, but overall I think the selection’s pretty good. Also, I’m not sure what “pretentious” means in the context of a DVD releasing label. Are there self-effacing releasing companies? Is the Criterion Collection just too serious somehow?Report
Oh, I’m a fan of the Criterion Collection in general, own a number of their releases and I freely acknowledge that their overall quality in general is excellent.
That said, the company claims to be in the business (at least after its original laserdisc catalog) of selling “important classic and contemporary films,” and they are pretentious and they are overpriced. (Okay, in my opinion.) Now, I like most of Kevin Smith’s flicks as much as the next guy, but Chasing Amy ain’t an important contemporary film and neither are Anderson’s movies even if they are “personal, nuanced, and artful.”
But, look, the point of the post was to share a laugh over the mock Criterions, really nothing more than that. The Criterion Collection is entitled to market whatever the hell it wants any way it wants at any price it wants. It’s simply not entitled to be immune from criticism and parody.Report
@William S.
I’m more of a Science Fiction snob actually. I prefer Blade Runner and THX1138 to Avatar.Report
You honestly didn’t like Fantastic Mr. Fox?Report