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No, You Can’t Call Your Strip Club the NY Pubic Library

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James Hanley

James Hanley is a two-bit college professor who'd rather be canoeing.

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24 Responses

  1. If the goal is tasteless:

    A firing range named Kent State University.Report

    • Avatar James Hanley says:

      I love it, but I have to disqualify it on the grounds that Kent State University itself could surely prevent someone from simply co-opting their name. Please do submit another entry, though. Such wicked wit must not be silenced.Report

      • Sadly, I’m all out of wickedness this morning. This does scuttle my idea for the world’s first off-Broadway consulting detective musical, “Elementary My Dear,” which would have starred a transvestite Holmes and a very confused Watson. New York’s loss.Report

  2. Avatar Scott says:

    How about the Marshall University Flight School?Report

  3. Avatar Berger says:

    I was about to express immediate dismay that this may law may affect The Brandy Library, until I saw that issue addressed in the link. *phew*

    Anyway, my fictitious (for now) business is “The Wild Cowboy’s Secondary School of Ribs”Report

  4. Avatar Jason Kuznicki says:

    The Cato Institute might have problems if it relocated to New York. But they’d be problems of the very sort we specialize in.

    Also, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence Finishing School for Boys, Girls, and Everyone In Between. Because someone had to go there, and it might as well be me.Report

  5. Avatar Will H. says:

    The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society (1968)

    I’m thinking this album might well become unavailable in NYC.Report

    • Avatar Mike Schilling says:

      Not that it’s particularly easy to find anywhere (though well worth the effort.)


      American tourists flock to see the village green.
      They snap their photographs and say “Goldarn it, isn’t it a pretty scene?”
      Report

  6. Avatar Jaybird says:

    One might call a brothel “Congress”.

    But surely that is outside of the scope of the rules.Report

  7. Avatar NoPublic says:

    The Burlesque Conservatory

    Which was actually the name of a planned club I was loosely involved with once upon a time so even though it never came to fruition it might fail the “fictitious” test.Report

    • Avatar Jason Kuznicki says:

      Epic blog name.Report

      • Avatar James Hanley says:

        I hereby declare NoPublic the winner. Fortunately his business venture was a failure, so that he could be a winner here.

        Jason’s suggestion might have been a winner, but as a principal Gentleman he is ineligible for our (wholly fictitious) prizes.Report

  8. Avatar RTod says:

    Going with the way too obvious – (and it can double for a late 70’s Chelsea bar or a times square porn shop!) – by I’m going to go with The School of Hard Cocks.Report

  9. Avatar Boegiboe says:

    Funny that the Cannabis College located in Old Amsterdam would be outlawed in New Amsterdam, even if there weren’t any actual cannabis in it.

    I tried, but I can’t think of anything better than RTod’s.Report

  10. Avatar BSK says:

    Museum of Fuck You, Government.Report

  11. Avatar James K says:

    A martial arts or boxing club called the School of Hard Knocks (do Americans use that expression?).

    I also have a real-world example, there’s a bar in Wellington called The Library.Report

  12. Avatar Scott Hanley says:

    Las Vegas has a strip club called The Library. For real.Report

  13. Avatar BSK says:

    NYC has a bar called Dead Poets Society. It wouldn’t shock me if they went after that for one reason or another.Report

  14. Avatar misterxroboto says:

    ITT Technical InstituteReport

  15. Avatar Kevin Kato says:

    The Denver night club The Church gets by on separation of church and state.Report

  16. Avatar Mike Schilling says:

    How about calling a pop/soft rock/jazz band Chicago Transit Authority? (The threat of legal action forced them to shorten it to just Chicago.)Report