Legal Draftsmanship, Part XIV
In an actual, official, and quite important piece of writing, one which I’ve spent three days drafting and which is pretty much my only shot at getting my client the ideal result in a substantial dispute, I included this paragraph:
Which brings our analysis at last to the fungus itself.
It appears on page four of an eight-page letter. Prudence prohibits me from divulging further details, which in turn allows you all to have fun imagining why exactly I would be writing such a thing. But yes, someone paid me to write that. And they liked it.
Enjoy your speculation in the comments.
What a humongous error.Report
An associate in my office just spent several months exchanging nasty letters about skulls and other bones.
So I’ll assume you were opposing counsel, you won, and you’ve failed to properly clean that property.Report
I predict the puns will mushroom out of control. I admit the thought of it gives me a bit of a thrush.Report
There is a pungus amongus.Report
If all the puns are going to be as spores these, we should just cap it off right now.Report
I must say, I’m lichen the directions y’all are taking this.Report
Only time will chanterelle.Report
A case about mushrooms and other toppings will eventually be appealed to the Burger court.Report
A partnership dissolution among mycologists?Report
It’s a single fungus, not multiple fungi.
A single species of fungus implies specialization.Report
Knowing you do a good amount of work in tenant law or whatever it is called, I’ll assume it has to do with allegations of mold or fungus in a unit.Report
You are defending a landlord against a substantial tort claim that includes both property damages and medical claims arising out of the alleged existence of mold within a rental property.
Or, your client paid very large sums for authentic black truffles and was dismayed to discover that he got ripped off. No souffles that night; he had to hang up his molds.Report
The opposite of gloomy Gus.Report