Legal Draftsmanship, Part XIV

In an actual, official, and quite important piece of writing, one which I’ve spent three days drafting and which is pretty much my only shot at getting my client the ideal result in a substantial dispute, I included this paragraph:

Which brings our analysis at last to the fungus itself.

It appears on page four of an eight-page letter. Prudence prohibits me from divulging further details, which in turn allows you all to have fun imagining why exactly I would be writing such a thing. But yes, someone paid me to write that. And they liked it.

Enjoy your speculation in the comments.mushroom photo

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Pseudonymous. Recovering litigator. Recovering Republican. Recovering Catholic. Recovering divorcé. Lives in Southern California (for now). Former Editor-in-Chief of Ordinary Times. Homebrewer. Atheist. Likes: respectful and intelligent dialogue, good wine, the Green Bay Packers, and long romantic walks on the beach. Dislikes: mass-produced barley pop, magical thinking, ketchup, and insincere people. If you follow him on Twitter at @burtlikko you may be disappointed.

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13 thoughts on “Legal Draftsmanship, Part XIV

  1. An associate in my office just spent several months exchanging nasty letters about skulls and other bones.

    So I’ll assume you were opposing counsel, you won, and you’ve failed to properly clean that property.


  2. Knowing you do a good amount of work in tenant law or whatever it is called, I’ll assume it has to do with allegations of mold or fungus in a unit.


  3. You are defending a landlord against a substantial tort claim that includes both property damages and medical claims arising out of the alleged existence of mold within a rental property.

    Or, your client paid very large sums for authentic black truffles and was dismayed to discover that he got ripped off. No souffles that night; he had to hang up his molds.


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