Week Two Roundup

My birthday is Sunday, but my present came early — the NFL direct package and the Red Zone channel. Sunday morning there were nine games going at once and it was so great I cried. A little. Anyway, the result of all that football is parity, with 20 out of 32 NFL teams having a record of 1-1. Can the same can be said for the League of Ordinary Fantasy Football? See my game write-ups and standing report after the jump.

Quite a few teams had a points riding on Monday night’s matchup between the Denver Broncos and the Atlanta Falcons, and why not? Expectations for both are high. Going all-in on the Matt Ryan to Julio Jones matchup, The Dictionary Kids lost their comback bid despite Fuzzy Dunlop’s end-of-the-half touchdown by Demaryius Thomas. And despite a disappointing outing by Peyton “The Neck” Manning, Multiple Scorgasms hung on to a lead against Tebow Ghostwriters, in a game which also featured two-touchdown Willis McGahee on the bench, and smack talk in haiku form. (You’ll only get this sort of stuff here, I tell ya.)

A phenomenal performance by the New York Giants boosted Legitimate Reception past the Unlikely Pseudonyms. Despite a no-show from the injured Antonio Gates and an effective no-show from Lance Ball, Haulin’ Oats had enough power to best Black Hole, mainly on the strength of Michael “Dogfighter” Vick. And the matchup of the week, aided by a career day from Reggie Bush, Not-So-Gentlewomen decisively bested Bullmoose Revival, which has hobbled by Greg Jennings missing out of Thursday night’s Green Bay-Chicago blood match (in which Green Bay again vindicated all that is good, right, just, and proper with the world with a trick play to end the half).

The week’s blowout was Ordinary Marksists over Stoicdread, by a Madden ’13-like margin of 132-56. And wrapping up the action, Partisan Warrior beat out Heisman Cain, who was surely disappointed by a lackluster statistical performance from The Best Quarterback On The Planet™.

Standings are as follows. 

Parity is king, with only one team (the Scorgasms) undefeated or untied, and only two teams (the Ghostwriters and Stoicdread) unvictorious. Proportionally, we have more parity in our fantasy league than the real NFL! Remember, players, week three begins on Thursday night, when the defending Super Bowl champions take on Cam Newton and his Carolina Panthers. On any given Sunday, it’s anyone’s game, and it’s still three months to the playoffs. Good luck to everyone in week three!