Imagine, for a second, that it’s August 27, 2012, and you’re in Tampa. If you need some assistance with that, go stand in a hot shower. Or the oven. I can wait.
Back?
You are at the Republican National Convention. Willard “Mitt” “Mittens” Romney is about to be crowned the Republican nominee for President of the United States. There’s his delegation over there. They seem nice enough. Men, in suits. Probably job creators. The salt of the earth, real Americans…. wait. What in God’s name are those flags they’re carrying?
Puerto Rico? Guam? The Virgin Islands? The Commonwealth of the Northern Marianas Islands? American Samoa? … HAWAII?!?!
Sure, George W. Bush probably won in those places too. But he also won in real states. Like Iowa. Or Georgia. Or Alabamassippi. He was a real American. He didn’t need Hawaii to win a nomination or two elections.
Romney, though? He can’t win the nomination without those places. He can’t beat Rick Santorum, a real American, a man who shares our core values, without Guam.
Not to mention, do you know where Mitt Romney was born? Detroit. That’s not even in the United States. We have to import cars from there because Barack Obama has spent the last four years ruining the economy to the point where real, red-blooded American car companies can’t even compete with foreigners from Detroit. This is the guy we’re nominating?
And don’t even get me started on his religion.
+1.
Santorum: “Elections shouldn’t be about MATH! Math is hard! Elections should be decided on whatever puts me ahead. Yeah, that’s the ticket.”Report
Methinks “Bonneville” is just motivated by anger.Report
Romney won San Francisco. And you know what that means.Report
Romney has won a wide range of urban areas in states Santorum or Gingrich won overall: Des Moines in Iowa, Denver in Colorado, Cincinnati in Ohio, Atlanta in Georgia and Birmingham in Atlanta, to name just a few. The question the “real” Republicans need to be asking themselves is why their guy(s) can’t win amongst urban Republicans, and what the demographic trends in the US say about what that means in the general elections down the road. There are, I’m sure, conservative solutions to urban problems; but to simply say that you’re the party of small-town America, and refuse to consider that the urban setting is different and requires different choices, is a recipe for long-term disaster.Report
Thanks, Ryan.
I want to tell you, it means a lot to me to see something about an IMPORTED CHRYSLER written by someone named BONNEVILLE.
‘Nuff said.Report
Would it make you even happier if I told you I grew up about 30 miles west of Detroit?Report
Dude! I’m from Canton!Report
That makes you almost from Canada; a strange place, I hear, where the marijuana laws are so lenient that people have begun to regard curling with interest.Report
What does this post have to do with anything relevant? Romney is leading in the delegate count so he must have won some “real” places. I want the eventual nominee to have as much support from as many places and folks as possible.
It was the UAW that ruined America’s car companies not Barry. Chrysler (Fiat) can import all the cars they want from Detroit, I still wouldn’t buy oneReport
Is this anti-trolling? Re-trolling?Report
Are we disowning Detroit? I could get behind that.Report
Romney is a Detroitan anti-colon-ist quasi-capitalist who wants to fundamentally fiddle with America.Report