Comedy!

We went to see a stand up comedian last Friday. Two drink minimums have transformed into two item minimums. You no longer have to buy a couple of overpriced whiskey sours. You now have the option of buying overpriced appetizers. (Additionally: the drinks are not watered down at all. If anything, they’ve gone the other direction. They’ve realized that repeat business is forever.)

(Full disclosure: I hate standup. A guy with a two by four on his shoulder turning around and hitting someone? COMEDY GOLD. Someone standing in front of a crowd and telling a joke? That is my own personal First World Problem, right there.)

Now, the last time I went to a comedy club (to see this same comedian, ironically enough), was around 2002 and the jokes came in, more or less, four categories:

1. “Did I forget to mention?” These jokes took the form “here’s an unremarkable setup… and here’s a piece of information that changes the setup.”

Example: “I don’t see anything wrong with taking a powernap halfway through an important job… but the kids on the schoolbus sure do!”

That sort of thing.

2. Our political party is good. The other political party is not good. The comedian stood up and told two jokes. The first joke had a punchline that said, more or less, Democrats R Dum. The second had a punchline that said, more or less, Republicans R Dum. The comedian measured the response to the two jokes and the difference between the number of laughs for the one wrt the other and then gave a rousing schtick where all of the jokes that he told the rest of the evening had, more or less, the same punchline as the one that got all of the laughs earlier.

Example: “Democrats think they’re so smart. (Example.)” (contrast with “Republicans are dumb. (Example)”)

That sort of thing.

3. Audience Abuse.

Example: “Blonde joke.” (then, to blonde in front row) “Retelling… of… beginning… of… blonde… joke… much… slower…”

That sort of thing.

4. Relationship Humor.

“Men have intimate relationships with women!”

Example: “My wife tells me to do things and I do them, though I resent it very mildly.”

That sort of thing.

Well, I had expected pretty much more of the same on this last Friday Evening.

My expectations had not, apparently, kept up with the times.

Last Friday, the MC was an African-American Male who opened with jokes about how much he enjoyed the pleasurable company of white women before going into a riff about the stupidity of white people tanning.

“Why would you willingly give up privilege?” he asked at one point. (And, seriously, that’s as close to a direct quotation as I can get a couple of days after the fact. I am not condensing his question down into its fundamental query, here.) He then complained about other African-Americans questioning whether he was so dark that that meant that he was “African” rather than “African-American” and then gave an impersonation of an African Stand-Up Comedian for an interminable amount of time that wandered through a lot of uncomfortable territory before wandering back into a decent punchline… before asking a patron at the club whether he’d engage in fellatio for a million dollars… and wandering around some various discussions of how he, the comedian, would enjoy the million dollars he’d theoretically get in this theoretical situation… before introducing the second comic of the night.

The second comic of the night declared a bit of synchronicity and said that his very nephew (aged: teenager) was caught discussing this exact same theoretical topic and then discussed (for TWENTY MINUTES) the various things that he, himself, would do for the theoretical fifty million his nephew (and his friends) were denying they’d accept for the act… before veering off into the territory discussing not only why he prefers dating women aged 20ish to women aged 30ish but also why he’s looking forward to dating women aged 50ish more than women aged 40ish… before explaining to the audience his five favorite ethnic women to date. White Women came in Fifth. (As it turns out, he *LIKES* tan lines because that’s a signal that he’s moving from “nice” territory to “naughty” territory.)

The final comic of the night (the reason we went) was actually not bad. While he did also explore the whole “let’s talk about societal taboos!” thing for an interminable amount of time (e.g., the importance of maintaining eye contact during a prostate exam), he went on to do some fairly skilled a capella work and sang harmonies with himself with the help of one of those “capture a sample” boxes that you can work with your feet. (His “Sammy Davis Jr. singing Humpty Dance” impression was likely lost on everybody in the audience who wasn’t pretty much the exact same age group as I happen to be in.)

Still… I was stuck, at the end of the night, wondering what in the hell happened to Lenny Bruce.