Split Personality
Sane, father Kazzy looks at Mayonnaise and thinks, “He’s starting to sleep through the night… that’s great! And his circumcision wasn’t botched… yes! And he has my face but Zazzy’s red hair… ehhhh. But he’s cute and I like kissing him and sometimes he tries to nurse on the end of my bulbous nose and I can’t think of anything I enjoy more than that I’m happy he’s here!”
Sane, teacher Kazzy looks at Mayonnaise and thinks, “He seems to be doing all the stuff babies should be doing, but what do I know? He’ll be fine… and if he isn’t fine-fine, we’ll love him regardless and make sure he gets what he needs.”
Crazy, father-teacher Kazzy looks at Mayonnaise and thinks, “He never smiles and sometimes just lays there staring blankly at the wall… he has autism! He cries if his swaddle isn’t done perfectly… he has sensory integration issues! He sleeps on his back and we don’t give him enough tummy time… he’s going to have fine motor issues! He squeaks like a mouse*… expressive language issues! He isn’t bothered by noise… receptive language issues!”
Thankfully, the first two parts usually tend to win out. But time will tell if being a teacher will interfere with being the sort of father I want to be. Or if being a father will interfere with being the sort of teacher I want to be. I do believe, if done right, both roles will make me better at the other. If done wrong… well… at least you all should get some entertaining posts about it…
* We actually find this quite endearing and have nicknamed him Squeaker as a result.
Lain doesn’t squeak, she squawks. We tried Squawker as a nickname, but it didn’t take.Report
You know what this means? We need to get Mayonnaise and Lain to do a Leaguecast together.
“Squeak and Squawk.” It can’t be much worse than what’s on cable news.Report
Sqeuak and Squawk sounds like bad British food.Report
Oh, Kazzy. Why did you have to mention circumcision? Do you have any idea what kind of comments you’re going to draw now?Report
We can’t let Russ and Rose have all the fun!Report
Page hits man! Get the League some of that there internet money! Learn from Matt Y!Report
Don’t worry, New Dealer and I are expert pro-circumcision debaters. If worse comes to worse we’ll just make a raspberry on the internet and declare that we won the debate.Report
I work with people who experience intellectual and developmental disabilities. Guess what kind of things are going through my mommy brain? It doesn’t help that my coworkers periodically check in to see if he’s hitting his milestones.Report
Sometimes I feel a knowledge base like that which you or I have can be a double-edged sword.
On the one hand, I recognize that certain fates are not the death sentences many people believe they are.
On the other hand, we’re acutely aware of the wide range of possible outcomes for our wee lil’ ones and what the real struggles associated with them will be.
For instance, thinking about ADHD (which I have no reason to think Mayonnaise has… this is purely hypothetical), I don’t fret over the idea of having an “out of control” child; that’s not what ADHD is. But I do know that true ADHD makes a number of things very difficult and often leaves the individual, especially as a young child, somewhat of a victim of their condition… attempting to do something that they ought otherwise be able to do but simply cannot. And that is tough… real tough.
How is your’s doing? How old now?Report
Most definitely a double-edged sword. I’m glad I can help open the eyes of my friends and family; my cousin is going to foster, and likely adopt, a small boy with a developmental disability.
Junior is 3 1/2 and he’s as perfect as they come, or so I say when he’s not driving me absolutely crazy.Report
Welcome to the club, amigo. You know how to reach me if you need me to talk you down.Report
As always, thank you, Doc.
In reality, I am almost always one of the first two. Zazzy is a worrier, so I need to balance that out (any time I’m doing anything with Mayonnaise, she reflexively says, “CAREFUL!” as if I was about to start juggling him). More importantly, I realize that damn near any difficulty he might face is unidentifiable at this point and, even if it were able to be detected, we’d be limited in our ability to “do anything” about it. I’m fairly confident nothing we do will raise or lower his risk of, say, ASD. And if he were to have that, we likely would not be looking at a “cure” in our life time.
He’ll be who he is, we’ll love him for it, and do whatever we can for him as long as we can.
Unless, of course, he gets Zazzy’s red hair. So help me God, if he has red hair…Report
Not being bothered by noise is a blessing! Enjoy it while you can.
We take our daughter to a couple of outdoor rave-y festivals, and a few smaller indoor things, a year. When she was about 3 months old, she slept happily through a set by Infected Mushroom – and, as the headlining act of the weekend, they got the dubious honour of the sound crew turning them up earsplittingly loud. Strapped to mom’s chest, with her noise protection earmuffs on, she didn’t bat an eyelid.
I suspect this will be the year when we have to start taking turns staying back at the tent once she’s asleep.Report
(I tell a lie – that was when she was a year and 3 months. I had the festival lineups from different years mixed up)Report