My Leaguefest Story: On being late
Thirty minutes to drop off my bag and leave a tip for housekeeping. It wasn’t the most ambitious schedule, but I seem to be able to make any such challenge rise up to me.
I spent most of Leaguefest without cash and without seeing an ATM. When dropping off my bag with the concierge I discovered there was an ATM in the lobby…which was broken. Eventually, I walked a couple blocks, found a bank with an ATM, and tried to go into the bank to get change for a tip. It was closed.
I made it back to the hotel and asked for change at the gift shop. They needed me to make a purchase, so I simply thanked them and moved on. That’s not behavior I reward. I then realize that the Starbucks would actually be a better option anyway since that way I can have a pretend breakfast in addition to organically making change.
I leave the tip, check out, and make my way.
I was feeling bad about being late, but then I wondered why I should feel bad. This was all in service of leaving a tip that I could have skipped without consequence. Not having cash is sort of a reasonable reason to not leave a tip, so I should be commended for having made a point of doing so and having invested what now seemed to have been a full 30 minutes getting at a $5 bill.
That I was late actually showed I was a Good Person. Other people wouldn’t go to these lengths!
I actually thought that for a few pregnant seconds.
I share this to reveal that even someone who writes self-righteous posts about taking ultimate responsibility for things has a brain that will do everything it can to abdicate that responsibility. It does it automatically, just like the part of my brain that makes sure I keep breathing.
Of course, I did actually recognize what I was trying to excuse and wrote this post admitting it. Most people wouldn’t do that. Right? How great am I for that?
But what costs did you pass on to others? If your friends had to wait 30 minutes each, that could add up to hours of lost time. If they didn’t mind waiting but now your party occupied the table an extra 30 minutes eating free chips and salsa, the restaurant lost out on additional earning opportunities.
All so you could give yourself the warm-fuzzies.Report
Interestingly (spoiler: not really), my wife and I had a similar conflict yesterday. We were brunching with some family who recently had a baby, and we had planned to stop on the way and get a small gift.
But we didn’t get out the door early enough, and stopping would have made us at least 1/2 hour late, so I vetoed that and we went straight to the restaurant sans gift, arriving right on time for the reservations.
Now, my wife, left to her own devices, definitely would have stopped and been late, feeling that to arrive without a gift is Not Done.
I, on the other hand, detest being late in most circumstances, especially when trying to make a brunch reservation time with relatives I don’t see often, so arriving late is Not Done. And I was driving.
Who was right (and don’t just say, “you should have left earlier”, because 1.) Duh and 2.) YOU try to get somewhere on time with these people) ?Report
Clearly you guys are incompatible. Divorce. Now.
(NOW SEE WHAT YOU’VE DONE, VIKRAM?!?!?!)Report
Glyph, my wife and I have the same problem and our opinions have the same gender split.
To answer your question, you are right.Report
I wasn’t that late, Kazzy!Report
I misread the “30 minutes spent getting cash” as “30 minutes late”. My apologies. You are only half-Hitler.Report
Half-Hitler only has 1/8 of a mustache. And is a dwarf.Report
Slightly more seriously, I do think it important that we consider the costs we export to others.
I remember a time when I was already running a bit late to work. As I flew down the street, I saw a gentleman a few decades my senior (meaning he was probably in his 40s or 50s) standing beside his car with the hood up. I screeched to a stop and asked if he needed help. He waved me off saying he had everything under control and I moved on. I felt like stopping was doing the right thing. But then I thought more about it: Was it? What costs did I impose on my colleagues by being late? What of those I impose on my students? Every situation probably dictates its own calculus but I think that back end is often forgotten. “I did the right thing today!” is a great feeling. But we should be careful about having that feeling at the expense of others.Report
“Of course, I did actually recognize what I was trying to excuse and wrote this post admitting it. Most people wouldn’t do that. Right? How great am I for that? ”
Seems like a perpetual loop 🙂Report
Ask me a question you want to answer. 😉
It was awesome meeting you, Vikram! Thank you for hanging out. 🙂Report
Thank you too! I’m glad I spent the extra day in the city!Report
Yep, it was nice to put some faces to names. I enjoyed our chat at dinner V.Report