A smaller, leaner, less intrusive government
Personally, I think that it should be easier for the government to fire employees who poop in the hallway.
Jaybird
Jaybird is Birdmojo on Xbox Live and Jaybirdmojo on Playstation's network. He's been playing consoles since the Atari 2600 and it was Zork that taught him how to touch-type. If you've got a song for Wednesday, a commercial for Saturday, a recommendation for Tuesday, an essay for Monday, or, heck, just a handful a questions, fire off an email to AskJaybird-at-gmail.com
Except that not getting easily fired for pooping in the hallways was a non-monetary part of their compensation. By allowing them to be fired for pooping in the hallways, we are essentially lowering their overall level of compensation. Which means that we would have to pay them more. Which means that taxes would have to go up. How do you like them apples, Mr. Libertarian!
In other news, it is apparently kosher to cuss out your boss.Report
How do you like them apples
I do not like
horsehallway apples, Sam-I-Am.ReportRelated: In Which Birds Are Admired.Report
“By allowing them to be fired for pooping in the hallways, we are essentially lowering their overall level of compensation. Which means that we would have to pay them more.”
Considering that teachers are always bitching about being underpaid, maybe “we’ll pay you more but then we can fire you for pooping in the hallway” is a win-win.
But then, maybe the teachers would say “you mean that i have such strong job protection that I can poop in the hallway and get away with it? When I look around at the current job environment, maybe I’d prefer to have the lower salary and the increased job protection.”Report
You know, I honestly don’t think that those cussing out your bosses cases will change a whole lot about workplace dynamics. The actions of the employers were particularly egregious in both cases (to the point where *I* am seeing abuse) and the law does protect the employees when the employers are breaking the laws (state or federal) and calling the employers out on this.
If I were to compare these cases to anything, I’d compare them to whistleblowing cases.Report
I can get being protected from dismissal for swearing at your boss in private, but doing it in public?
Actually, isn’t that a hostile work environment, if an employee regularly swears & is disrespectful toward others (boss or co-workers)?Report
The “cuss out your boss” is actually more nuanced than the snappy headline would have you believe.Report
If I’m reading the article correctly, the problem isn’t that there’s some HR problem with firing the Hallway Pooper. They just don’t know who the Hallway Pooper is.
Very weird behavior, anyway.Report
When it comes to staying on top of this story, I will take great care to ensure that my duties are not dropped.Report
Be careful, Jaybird. Once The Hallway Pooper realizes you are on the case, you could be the next victim.
Report
I presume a DNA test is considered overly intrusive, at least lacking probable cause.Report
You can’t really dust for poop.Report
There must be a way to drum up some evidence.Report
It doesn’t say that anyone is pooping in the hallway, it says that person or persons perhaps unknown are placing poop in the hallway. No information about where they got it or whose it is.Report
“I did not put it there with my butt. I put it there with my hands.”
Perhaps we could agree that the person or persons shat-by-proxy.Report
As I think about this more and more, I’m troubled that we don’t really have a word for it.
You’d think we would.Report
“Designated Sh*tter”.Report
There’s no need to invoke anything so distasteful [1]. Pinch-sh*tter works fine.
1. As crapping on the game, that is.Report
Surreptitiously depositing fecal matter in the halls has to take some time away from one’s (assigned) duties. Examine timecards or (other) outputs, to see whose work productivity numbers don’t add up.
Do that, and mark my words: it’s only a matter of time before the loafer gets pinched.Report
I’m picturing the brash young police lieutenant and the angry black chief.
“Aaaarrrgh, Murphy! I’ve got orders from downtown to flush this inspection pronto!”
“Not gonna happen Chief! I’m telling you, there’s some serious shit about to go down here!”
“Aaaaarrrgh, Murphy! I’ll give you one more chance to get your head out of your ass!”
“Not gonna happen, Chief! This whole thing stinks to high heaven!”
“Aaaarrrgh, Murphy! That’s it, you’re in deep shit now! Turn over your badge and gun!”Report
You forgot a weary “I’m gettin’ too old for this s**t.” Stick with the classics!Report
“Jackson, this city’s really goin’ down the tubes.” (tosses back shot)
“You’re right, Murphy. (drags on cigarette). “It’s a cesspool of corruption out there.”Report
I think this might be relevant:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXBcX9zGj6AReport