I miss her. I’m not too proud to say it.
For a brief moment, she was the object of our collective fascination. And who could blame us? There she was on a small screen in our homes, bringing her glamour and her insouciance into our lives. Like a Diet Coke to balance out a heavy meal, she brought an effervescent sweetness with a hint of alluring artificiality.
In truth, I never saw much of the television program that catapulted her to stardom. Entranced by its sharp take on American bourgeois life and by the delights of its protagonists, I knew I would become like a hapless viewer beguiled by the Entertainment. For my own sanity, I tore my eyes away after only a few minutes of watching. It was… difficult.
Thankfully, she was everywhere. Her elegant style. The classy company she kept. One could not escape the crystalline stillness of her gaze from many a glossy magazine cover. I was comforted.
Alas, even the rarest bloom must drop its petals under the weight of time. So, too, her fame has faded. No longer does she perch atop the perilous wave of celebrity. She swims toward it, to be sure, but sadly its crest now propels others toward the beach of notoriety. Forlorn she bobs in the bay of infamy past its “sell-by” date.
Yet I miss her. I do. But hope remains! If Paula Abdul can have a career renaissance, then so can America’s quondam sweetheart.
So tell me, do you miss her too? Do you miss Paris Hilton?
I know… right?Report
Almost, Doc. Almost.Report
Your new moniker is so comfy. It makes me happy to see it.Report
Thanks!Report
I kinda do, if only because the alternative is the Kardashians.Report
don’t worry doc – we’ll always have paris.Report
A plusReport
Ummmmmm…no. And I never even thought about the possibility.Report
I will only say that I viewed “1 Night in Paris” on more than one night.Report
Must… not… shudder. Will… ruin… joke.
*swoons*Report
She’s not my type by any means. But she was one of those rare birds who actually looked better with her clothes off than on. Also, I was 20 and the internet porn boom hadn’t yet taken hold.Report
Thank heavens you survived those dark, dark years.Report
When I was your age, we had National Geographic AND THAT’S IT!!!
It was a major epiphany when someone discovered the photography reference section of the library!Report
Can I tell my NatGeo story? I’m going to tell my NatGeo story.
When I was in high school, we’d occasionally rent a house from a priest for vacation. He lived there most of the year so the house was filled with his stuff… including an impressive NatGeo collection. Being a teenage boy and stuck with my family in a house with few TV channels and no internet, I felt I needed to do SOMETHING about the matter. I grabbed a NatGeo and retreated to the basement bathroom to, um, do something. Lo and behold, what did I find? Some sort of pornographic flyer tucked into the pages! I don’t think I really understood what it was… it might have been advertising videos or escorts or toys or maybe all three. I dunno. It had boobs… better boobs than the NatGeo. It did the trick. Though it did make me wonder about that priest.Report
People have been creating pornography since, well shortly after we started drawing on cave walls. Before the internet, distribution was a bit problematic.Report
Before the internet, distribution was a bit problematic.
We had to rely on the “locate soggy pile of magazines, surreptitiously discarded in the woods” distribution method.
And we blessed that furtive litterbug with all our young hearts.Report
See? This is yet another area where the gays have it over us heteros: They can just look in the mirror and more or less see what they’re interested in seeing.
Though, being a complete and utter narcissist, this particular shortcoming is of little consequence for me.Report
I really can’t speak with any expertise on this but were I a betting man, I’d bet that this falls into the whole “you can’t tickle yourself” exception for self-interaction.
And I find it less appalling to theorize about this openly than to say something like “dude, clear this up for us” to those who might be able to. It seems unseemly, somehow.Report
Well, I like myself now in the mirror. In fact, I have commented in passing that I would date myself, if I happened upon other-me in a bar.
Of course, given how shy I am, and how shy other-me would likely be, we’d never actually speak. Instead, there would be that cautious glance, briefly exchanged, the hints of a smile — but not too much! don’t take the chance! — the little “oh look a girl-like-me I wonder if she’s a dyke-like-me?” moment.
But the night would draw on; drinks would be emptied; we would dance, but never near the other; then two cab rides alone.Report
Speaking for myself, @jaybird ‘s got it right on this one.
So imagine, you men who were boys finding the magazines discarded in the woods, my despair at trying to find something remotely gay in those hard-won (!) straight magazines. Sometimes the more raunchy ones would have ads for gay movies in the back. My porn was a tiny ad I squinted at the back of your magazine. 😉Report
Jay,
some people have fixes for the “you can’t tickle yourself” — at least when it comes to prurient interaction.Report
I think I ate the cheeseburger that she endorsed one time.Report
I read this in Ralph Wiggum’s voice.Report
I read everything all of you say in Ralph Wiggum’s voice.Report
Really, I imagine Glyph sounding alternatively like Lou Reed or David Lee Roth.Report
Now I am wondering if the famously surly Reed and the famously…enthusiastic Roth ever interacted. That must have been entertaining.Report
I saw the comment with no context, and so was picturing Philip Roth meeting Ralph Reed. Roth demolished him.Report
I don’t much miss Tom Cruz or Tom Selleck. But I do miss John Travolta.Report
There’s a local watering hole that has a framed, tastefully-lit portrait of Selleck behind the register. It is awesome.Report
Tom Selleck is one of the celebrities I’ve seen in the wild. He was in the line behind us to see Cyrano de Bergerac (the French subtitled/Gerard version) in 1990(?) in Santa Monica.
Dude’s tall.Report
Who’s Paris Hilton?Report
Not who what, its the Hilton Hotel located in Paris. Both Paris, France and Paris, Texas.Report
LeeEsq is correct. Many, many weary travelers have spent just one night there.Report
No.
In fact, I actively disdain the current celebrity culture, perhaps partly because I miss what celebrity culture used to be. Growing up in the ’90s I devoured any TV shows, movies, books, etc. on my favorite musicians, writers, directors, actors, etc.
There was a point when you could turn on MTV and see a band talking about the making of their album. That gave way to a pop star talking about the cars in his garage. And now it’s just non-interesting people milking the fifteen minutes they get for getting knocked up at 16 or their willingness to participate in some scripted reality show.
I know this sounds hopelessly quaint, but when the likes of Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian are mentioned, I cannot help but ask. “what do they do?”Report
I can tell you what they didn’t do:
Skip town with their 15 year old daughter to pan for gold in the Sierra Nevadas.
(That bloke is up $750,000…)Report
Whatever happened to old-fashioned, hardworking celebrities, like the Gabors?Report
I am sure that Kim Kardashian works very hard… at selling Kim Kardashian. Great for her. And great for the people who buy whatever it is that she is selling. That doesn’t change the fact that Kardashian’s celebrity is grounded in celebrity and not any particular artistic or entertainment skill.Report
“Being hot” isn’t a skill?
Oy, nobody tell all those supermodels…Report
Glyph,
that’s not “being hot”.
It’s called narcissism.Report
Whoosh…..Report
Can’t say that I’m particularly interested in celebrity models either.Report
Trust me, being ‘hot’ is very much a skill.Report
v,
yes, of course, but a different skill from modeling.
Modeling creates the “unapproachable” look — or at least what classic supermodels go for.Report
“Trust me, being ‘hot’ is very much a skill.”
Too bad Kim Kardashian doesn’t have it!
Boom! Thanks folks! Hey, try the veal!Report
@burt-likko — hehReport
I’m with Burt on this one.Report
Y’all are crazy.Report
At least Zsa Zsa is going to have her own obit. (unlike, say, Prinz von Anhalt)Report
Yeah, whatever Kardashian’s other flaws may be, she is not physically unattractive. Genetic lottery won in that respect. I even Googled “without makeup”, and assuming she had a nice personality, I wouldn’t say no.
But bear in mind I know next to nothing about her. Reading wiki, I guess she broke into the public eye by being friends with Hilton and “accidentally” having a sex tape leak? So she actually sort of DID use porn as a stepping stone to a mainstream entertainment career. Interesting.Report
She does nothing for me.Report
Nor is she so exceptionally attractive that she’d have been discovered by a talent scout. Her outstanding talent is for self-promotion, like Camille Paglia without the additional gift of being able to seem intelligent.Report
Heh. Paglia.
But to be honest I think she is intelligent. Just, you know, horrible.Report
Her eyes are weird.Report
“Her eyes are weird.”
I’ve seen “Supernatural”. That’s just a symptom of demonic possession.Report
I feel like I’m in the Hillary Swank episode of The Office.Report
Also, I have no idea how intelligent Kim is, but her father was an incredibly successful lawyer, and get mom (who is also beautiful) is a public relations genius, so if even a little bit of their brains got into Kim’s genes, she’s probably no idiot.
Also, Kanye is awesome, so she has that going for her.Report
Wait, what?!
Oh, different Kim.Report
Both Kims seem to be equally reliable witnesses.Report
This is an April Fool’s joke, right?
We still lived in L.A. the last time Paris made big news for flashing her pubes while driving drunk. It was a huge story on the local news when she landed in jail.
I miss Paris about as much as I miss Los Angeles.Report