Special Tuesday questions, Nicole Richie edition

Russell Saunders

Russell Saunders is the ridiculously flimsy pseudonym of a pediatrician in New England. He has a husband, three sons, daughter, cat and dog, though not in that order. He enjoys reading, running and cooking. He can be contacted at blindeddoc using his Gmail account. Twitter types can follow him @russellsaunder1.

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59 Responses

  1. Road Scholar says:

    I know… right?Report

  2. Saul DeGraw says:

    Almost, Doc. Almost.Report

  3. Chris says:

    I kinda do, if only because the alternative is the Kardashians.Report

  4. dhex says:

    don’t worry doc – we’ll always have paris.Report

  5. J@m3z Aitch says:

    Ummmmmm…no. And I never even thought about the possibility.Report

  6. Kazzy says:

    I will only say that I viewed “1 Night in Paris” on more than one night.Report

    • Russell Saunders in reply to Kazzy says:

      Must… not… shudder. Will… ruin… joke.


      • Kazzy in reply to Russell Saunders says:

        She’s not my type by any means. But she was one of those rare birds who actually looked better with her clothes off than on. Also, I was 20 and the internet porn boom hadn’t yet taken hold.Report

      • Thank heavens you survived those dark, dark years.Report

      • When I was your age, we had National Geographic AND THAT’S IT!!!

        It was a major epiphany when someone discovered the photography reference section of the library!Report

      • Kazzy in reply to Russell Saunders says:

        Can I tell my NatGeo story? I’m going to tell my NatGeo story.

        When I was in high school, we’d occasionally rent a house from a priest for vacation. He lived there most of the year so the house was filled with his stuff… including an impressive NatGeo collection. Being a teenage boy and stuck with my family in a house with few TV channels and no internet, I felt I needed to do SOMETHING about the matter. I grabbed a NatGeo and retreated to the basement bathroom to, um, do something. Lo and behold, what did I find? Some sort of pornographic flyer tucked into the pages! I don’t think I really understood what it was… it might have been advertising videos or escorts or toys or maybe all three. I dunno. It had boobs… better boobs than the NatGeo. It did the trick. Though it did make me wonder about that priest.Report

      • LeeEsq in reply to Russell Saunders says:

        People have been creating pornography since, well shortly after we started drawing on cave walls. Before the internet, distribution was a bit problematic.Report

      • Glyph in reply to Russell Saunders says:

        Before the internet, distribution was a bit problematic.

        We had to rely on the “locate soggy pile of magazines, surreptitiously discarded in the woods” distribution method.

        And we blessed that furtive litterbug with all our young hearts.Report

      • Kazzy in reply to Russell Saunders says:

        See? This is yet another area where the gays have it over us heteros: They can just look in the mirror and more or less see what they’re interested in seeing.

        Though, being a complete and utter narcissist, this particular shortcoming is of little consequence for me.Report

      • I really can’t speak with any expertise on this but were I a betting man, I’d bet that this falls into the whole “you can’t tickle yourself” exception for self-interaction.

        And I find it less appalling to theorize about this openly than to say something like “dude, clear this up for us” to those who might be able to. It seems unseemly, somehow.Report

      • veronica dire in reply to Russell Saunders says:

        Well, I like myself now in the mirror. In fact, I have commented in passing that I would date myself, if I happened upon other-me in a bar.

        Of course, given how shy I am, and how shy other-me would likely be, we’d never actually speak. Instead, there would be that cautious glance, briefly exchanged, the hints of a smile — but not too much! don’t take the chance! — the little “oh look a girl-like-me I wonder if she’s a dyke-like-me?” moment.

        But the night would draw on; drinks would be emptied; we would dance, but never near the other; then two cab rides alone.Report

      • Zane in reply to Russell Saunders says:

        Speaking for myself, @jaybird ‘s got it right on this one.

        So imagine, you men who were boys finding the magazines discarded in the woods, my despair at trying to find something remotely gay in those hard-won (!) straight magazines. Sometimes the more raunchy ones would have ads for gay movies in the back. My porn was a tiny ad I squinted at the back of your magazine. 😉Report

      • Kim in reply to Russell Saunders says:

        some people have fixes for the “you can’t tickle yourself” — at least when it comes to prurient interaction.Report

  7. Burt Likko says:

    I think I ate the cheeseburger that she endorsed one time.Report

  8. zic says:

    I don’t much miss Tom Cruz or Tom Selleck. But I do miss John Travolta.Report

    • Glyph in reply to zic says:

      There’s a local watering hole that has a framed, tastefully-lit portrait of Selleck behind the register. It is awesome.Report

      • Patrick in reply to Glyph says:

        Tom Selleck is one of the celebrities I’ve seen in the wild. He was in the line behind us to see Cyrano de Bergerac (the French subtitled/Gerard version) in 1990(?) in Santa Monica.

        Dude’s tall.Report

  9. Tod Kelly says:

    Who’s Paris Hilton?Report

  10. j r says:


    In fact, I actively disdain the current celebrity culture, perhaps partly because I miss what celebrity culture used to be. Growing up in the ’90s I devoured any TV shows, movies, books, etc. on my favorite musicians, writers, directors, actors, etc.

    There was a point when you could turn on MTV and see a band talking about the making of their album. That gave way to a pop star talking about the cars in his garage. And now it’s just non-interesting people milking the fifteen minutes they get for getting knocked up at 16 or their willingness to participate in some scripted reality show.

    I know this sounds hopelessly quaint, but when the likes of Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian are mentioned, I cannot help but ask. “what do they do?”Report

  11. Michelle says:

    This is an April Fool’s joke, right?

    We still lived in L.A. the last time Paris made big news for flashing her pubes while driving drunk. It was a huge story on the local news when she landed in jail.

    I miss Paris about as much as I miss Los Angeles.Report