1. When we say that little Johnny is doing well, it means we’re on the verge of recommending him for special services. When we say that we are concerned about little Janie, it means we are so scared of her we avoid being within arm’s reach. When we say that little Susie is making steady progress, it means we’re no longer finding poop in the sink. When we say that little Malcom is doing great, it means we don’t want to talk to you and are just trying to end the conversation.
2.) When people say, “I’d love to leave work at 3!” and we respond with, “Leave work at 3? I’m doing prep work until 5 and then grading papers all night long!” we really mean, “I left at 3:15 because I gossiped with the secretary for 16 minutes.”
3.) When we say that we do what we do because we love children, we really mean that we love collecting pay checks in the summer despite only entering school zones to buy drugs.
4.) When we have in-service days, you can bet your ass we’re all sitting around, hung over, criticizing each other’s bulletin boards.
5.) When you visit us to talk about your child and we say, “Let me just get his file out,” we’re really just buying time to try to remember who your kid is.
6.) Without the teacher’s editions of our text books, we got nothing. And, yes, that includes preschool teachers. You mean you didn’t know there was an answer key for Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?
When you visit us to talk about your child and we say, “Let me just get his file out,” we’re really just buying time to try to remember who your kid is.
Hey, look! Something we have in common!Report
My Dad was a small town pediatrician, so pretty much every kid in town had him for a doctor (or if not, one of his two partners, which means they’d probably seen him at least once when he was on call). Kids and their parents were always coming up to us in restaurants or stores, and I always cracked up as I watched him trick the kid into giving him his or her name, and then act like he knew it all along.Report
1) This is a necessary survival skill.
2) One of the things I looooooove about living 45 minutes from where I work is that I am so rarely accosted by people from the practice in the grocery store now.Report
When you visit us to talk about your child and we say, “Let me just get his file out,” we’re really just buying time to try to remember who your kid is.
Totally no kidding: for the first 10 minutes of our first preschool conference about our son, the teacher referred to him as “she.” She was doing well, it turns out.Report
Well… or “well”…Report
Ol Fuddy DuddiesGay guysMusical theater fansDoctors… they’re just like us!ReportThat first one will happen to you. Just you wait, you snot-nosed whippersnapper.Report
And the other two?Report
Musical theater already has you. You just don’t know it yet. It’s sorta like the Matrix.Report
Your music tastes seem to match Glee’s producers…that’s musical theater nowadays, right?Report
Glee does STYX? I’M IN!Report
Isn’t Journey close enough?Report
THIS POST WAS O.G., DUDE!Report
What? No love for the lowly sub-blogs?Report