So, over the weekend the good and decent Doc and I were chatting back and forth by text.
We were discussing things that were entirely frivolous and unserious, and at one point he mentioned that his young preschool-age toddler was being, well, a young preschool age toddler.
If you’ve never had a young preschool age toddler you wouldn’t necessarily know this, but in addition to being a source of great joy and love and laughter and inspiration, they can also be a handful. As a father of two boys, I can tell you they can often be quite the handful. Seriously, if you’ve raised kids and never found them to be a handful there’s something very wrong with you and you need to go see a professional.
Where was I? Oh yeah, Russell and I were texting back and forth and he mentioned his young preschool-age toddler was being a handful. So what did I say to the good Doctor in response?
This:
THAT’S WHAT THE GUN IS FOR.
Yep, that’s right. The most decent man I know is talking about the challenges of parenting a toddler, and I texted him to go get his gun.
AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!
What I’d meant to say was THAT’S WHAT THE GIN IS FOR. As in, you should really go make yourself a martini after kid-bedtime. Instead, I fat-fingered something and my spellcheck went to a very , very dark place.
My mission for the remainder of the year is to prove to Russell that I don’t need to be locked away for the good of all mankind.
Tod, you’re never going to live this down. You will forever be known as Tod “Threatens to Shoot Preschooolers” Kelly or shortenned to Tod “TSP” KellyReport
“I was telling him to get the kid drunk” isn’t much of a defense.Report
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2003/12/03Report
I’m torn between “Hey there, Machine Gun Kelly” and “At least Tod didn’t mention foreplay.”Report
I’m going to start playing a new game. It’s called, “Work Tod’s typoed phrase into every parent-teacher conference.”Report
I also feel this needs to be a new LoOG meme. Any time someone starts fear mongering or exaggerating a problem, simply say, “Well, that’s what the gun is for.”
Bonus points if used during a gun debate.Report
I was going to say something like, “People like Tod are why this country needs reasonable gun control!”Report
This is why I avoid Gin, it’s just too easy for it to lead to a gun.
Scotch is much better, all it ever leads to is inappropriate relations with sheepReport
http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/
Some of them have *got* to be made up (assuming that not all of them were).Report