Breakup Songs
Now that Valentine’s Day is over and there’s not even any of that 50% off stale chocolate left to stimulate our dopamine receptors, it’s time to celebrate the polar opposite of romance – breaking up.
Look, there’s even a song that’s kind of about breaking up right after
Valentine’s Day (an excellent one, too, might I add)
Van William ft. First Aid Kit
“Revolution”
God.
I should totally not have watched that video, it actually contained some real human emotion and I try to avoid that whenever possible.
Anyhoo, breakup music is one of the deepest genres out there. Everyone has a breakup album or at least a few songs on the subject and to be lucky enough to write an article about the subject – well, it’s really an embarrassment of riches to choose from.
There are breakup songs by women, breakup songs by men, country songs, rock songs, folk, rap, even spoken word poetry breakup songs I assume – a heartbreaking ditty for every somber mood and a melancholy tune to fit every gutwrenching backstory.
I’ve picked some songs that I personally enjoy, and I hope – indeed, I DEMAND that you share your personal faves in the comments section as my dear Ordinarians are keeping me well supplied with new music.
This was the first song I recall hearing as a child and
understanding that it was about the end of a relationship. I
thought about what “I know you really want to be your own girl”
meant for a long time. Still think about it sometimes.
Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty
“Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around”.
https://youtu.be/6UD0c58nNCQ
If you’d like a song that inspires you to grab the nearest dude
and give him a knee to the testicles just on general principle, try this.
Dixie Chicks “You Were Mine”
TFW you run into your ex and you have to act like it’s just another night on the town.
The Airborne Toxic Event “Sometime Around Midnight”
Sometimes you realize you had a pretty good thing.
Just a little bit too late.
Roxette “It Must Have Been Love”
An accurate portrayal of what troubled relationships feel like.
And a great song.
The Dead Weather – “Treat Me Like Your Mother”
#stateyourunpopularopinion – I don’t like Adele. With the exception
of this song, which like all her songs it seems like, is about a breakup.
“Set Fire To The Rain” – Adele
You can work so hard to build a relationship and in the end it still doesn’t work.
It takes a lot of force to destroy something with a solid foundation.
“They’ll Need a Crane” – They Might Be Giants
Or some sort of giant ball capable of, IDK, like, wrecking stuff?
Miley Cyrus – “Wrecking Ball“
It’s sometimes hard not to at least partly blame the
other person for how terrible you feel about losing them.
“All Time Low” by Jon Bellion
Despite our nostalgic view of the past, people have been
breaking up, and singing about it, for a very long time.
Tammy Wynette – “D-I-V-O-R-C-E”
Occasionally breaking up is like trying on a bikini – you put it on thinking it’ll
be a good fit, and then once you see it in the harsh and unforgiving
light you change your mind and stick with the one-piece.
“Breaking Us In Two” – Joe Jackson
Girl, I hate to say it but he’s really just not that into you. 🙁
Linda Ronstadt, “Long Long Time”
I am getting so sad watching all these videos that
I need a little lighthearted comedy to cheer me up.
Oh crap this one is pretty sad too actually. Sniff.
“I’m Not Crying” – Flight of the Conchords
Even years later I’m still surprised this song wasn’t released as a single.
Hearing it, it’s pretty obvious Gaga was more than just a one-trick pony.
This is supposed to be about her dad, but it sounds breakuppy to me.
Lady Gaga – “Speechless”
Some people say “It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
And then there’s Phosporescent, with “Song for Zula”,
who makes it sound like love should be avoided at all costs.
There is an endless supply of country songs about breaking up.
So I picked the one that came with some eye candy.
“Brokenheartsville” – Joe Nichols
This has gotta be one of the most poignant breakup songs ever.
ABBA – “The Winner Takes It All”
Although this is also an exceedingly poignant breakup song.
“The Gold” – Manchester Orchestra
That there are two sides to every story is obvious.
Less obvious is that sometimes, both sides are right.
Patty Loveless – “You Don’t Even Know Who I Am”
Ever been in a relationship where it felt like your partner just
kind of wanted to be with someone who wasn’t you, and their solution
is rather than breaking up, they’ll just turn you into a different person?
Ben Folds ft. Regina Spektor – You Don’t Know Me”
Then there are relationships where you just have a vibe that
your partner wishes you were a totally different person
but they just refuse to admit it, even to themselves.
“Such a Simple Thing” by Ray LeMontagne
One of the saddest, hardest part of breaking up is that you
have to go on living in the same old world that you once shared
with someone else. It’s enough to give you a raging case of
the “Divorce Separation Blues” according to the Avett Brothers.
Sometimes you have to break up with someone
before you’re even in a relationship with them.
“No One Is To Blame” – Howard Jones
This is, in my opinion, the best breakup song.
It’s so weird what a high premium we all put on finding love
when it ends up hurting us so bad so much of the time.
Lottery tickets have a better chance at paying off.
Amy Winehouse – “Love is a Losing Game”
A personal favorite of mine, the video is really the stickler for the breakup story of the song since the duo was in fact not on speaking terms at the time and would dissolve shortly thereafter. https://youtu.be/MnkM_ebv9BIReport
Wow that’s beautiful Andrew. I could relate to some of the lyrics too. Thanks.Report
I was always partial to “I Will Survive” (Gloria Gaynor). But I’m a kid of the 1970s, and while I’ve never had a particularly awful or tragic breakup, I’ve often come out of them feeling that kind of nuclear-winter feeling (not ‘cos of anything he did or said, just my own feeling of THAT WAS MY LAST CHANCE AND I BLEW IT) and it has helped me.Report
I love that song too, and even the remake by Cake (which I don’t always like remakes, but that one appeals to me for some reason).
Something about I Will Survive applies in all sorts of situations, too.Report
Oh, a personal favorite genre!
“Goodbye My Lover” for a breakup with someone with whom I have no animosity. But not the James Blunt version, the one by Chloe.
“Don’t Speak” from No Doubt when it’s a break up you see coming but don’t want to admit.
“Habits” from Tove Lo when dealing very badly with a break up. Self-destruction anthem.
“Cup of Coffee” from Garbage, for the crushingly depressing break up.
“You Oughtta Know” for the angry break up, it’s amazing and I don’t care what that idiot Jezebel writer said.
“In the Summer’s When You Really Know” by Jets to Brazil is the doomed summer romance theme song.
Really just so many. An embarassment of riches indeed. Nothing stokes creativity like sadness, rejection and resentment.Report
I love all these – hadn’t heard the Chloe, Garbage, or Jets to Brazil but they’re fab! Thanks for sharing them!!Report
Agreed!Report
Dear Chicago (one of the prettiest breakup songs of all time)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsduyPfafp0Report
Of course, he brackets that with the harshest getting dumped song (lyrics NSFW)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FIw7ERlVxUReport
I actually like this harsh one better – greatly enjoyed both! Thank you so much!Report
Oooh, that Roxette song is a killer.
“Hard Habit To Break” by Chicago is a favorite, as is the less-well-known “Niagara Falls” (though looking back at the lyrics now, that one comes across as a little stalkery).
“You Were Meant For Me” by Jewel. “When The Thought of You Catches Up With Me” by David Ball. “Nothing Compares 2 U” by Sinead O’Connor. “Something I Can Never Have” by Nine Inch Nails.
Just so, so many by George Strait.
“Can’t Cry Anymore” by Sheryl CrowReport
Ooooh, Something I can Never Have! A personal favorite.Report
Several of those I considered and then passed on, thanks for mentioning them!!
I remember at a school dance once they played “Hard Habit to Break” and one of my friends was crying over a breakup.
The memories…Report
Everybody knows this guy for Hallelujah. But this is one of the best breakup songs *EVER*.
Report
Then there’s the simple “The hell with you”:
https://youtu.be/to-RVV_3anwReport
Great song, thanks for reading.Report
I knew that my then girlfriend (and wife-to-be) had an excellent voice and loved to sing early on. I remember being in the back bedroom/office working on a math problem when I realized that the music I was humming along to was her, singing “Long Long Time” loudly and well while she vacuumed.Report
Nice!Report
Just wanted to mention that while this article appears to have come out of nowhere, I had actually planned to write a couple funny breakup articles this month as an antidote for my romance novel posts last month. Then I got interested in some other things and dropped the concept, but the music lingered on.
there is a method to my madness, occasionally.Report
Many, many years ago, a work friend of mine showed up one morning and was clearly in distress. We asked her what was wrong and she told us that she and her long-term boyfriend had broken up. Now, I don’t know what exactly came over us (well, me)–my defense will be that I knew there was no way they would remain broken up–but I determined that the best way to deal with this situation was to play every sad breakup song I could think of. We were actually openly mocking this poor woman, who we claimed to be friends of, and who we claimed to care about. I don’t know what the hell was wrong with us that we thought this was the correct course of action.
Before long, she was laughing along with us (maybe laughing through her tears, but whatever. In for a penny…). And sure enough, they did get back together, and eventually got married (blending five kids together into one gigantic household) and have been together now for 10+ years.
Thus is the healing power of music. Or mockery. Or something…what was I talking about, again?Report
That’s a great story and I can totally see that happening. Thanks for reading!Report
To me, the ultimate breakup song is Dave Mason’s “We Just Disagree”. It’s a beautiful song with great instrumentation, but the killer is the lyrics, conversational and almost stream-of-consciousness. It’s weird; I don’t associate the song with any particular breakup in my life, but more like with every breakup ever. I think I felt that way before I even knew what a breakup felt like.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h16DmdQvxB0Report
@pinky
Excellent choice.Report
Dang it, I had heard this on the radio a few weeks ago and meant to include it!
So many breakups happen because it just can’t work – you recognize everything great about the person and still have to walk away.
thanks so much for sharing!Report
This is a great song. Billy Dean gave it a more upbeat treatment in his cover in 1993: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaOHSLdokHwReport
So many good ones to choose from so I will just select two of my more recent favorites. Of course they are country, because seriously, what genre does break songs better?
“Record Year” by Eric Church – This one is in the wheelhouse I like of the dumpee making it clear they will survive the breakup and be better off in the long-run.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvvYMxV6TmI
“Song for Another Time” by Old Dominion – This one is really cool for the gazillion references to other songs and also because it covers the breakup where the couple doesn’t really want to breakup by has to. Those perhaps suck the most.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZ0QFmzl1kwReport
I love both those. There was so much record abuse in the Eric Church video I could hardly stand to watch!!! Also I’m sure you heard this before but “Give Me Back My Hometown” by Eric Church is another good one.
https://youtu.be/l5DnNxDTjbQReport
I am a huge Eric Church fan. Seeing him again in April!Report
It’s a little old school, but I’ve always been a fan of “Victim of Changes” by Judas Priest.Report
Excellent suggestion, thanks!!!Report
I’ve got 2. No one writes better breakup songs than Linus of Hollywood. This one is his best, though.
https://linusofhollywood.bandcamp.com/track/thankful-its-over-now
The other one is the Ben Folds Five’s Song for the Dumped. What guy hasn’t been there?
Report
Sting’s “I’m so happy that I can’t stop crying” is one of the odder divorce songs. Yay. Divorce.
Report
Sting with that hairstyle and beard looks like about 1/3 of all male Washingtonians ages 21-65.Report
Thanks for this post Kristen, love it. Someone says break up songs and I think of an album Soot Out the Lights – Richard and Linda Thompson by the time the album was released they were divorced. Its almost painful to listen to knowing what they were going through. Explicit break up songs on it include Don’t Renege on My Love, Walking on a wire, Man in Need, Did She Jump or Was She Pushed the rest really aren’t break up songs but in my mind they all are.Report
Maybe it’s just me, but is it weird how Howard Jones music was something of a backdrop for growing up in the late 80’s early 90’s, but I never knew the guys name until I was well into college?Report
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-48Za7VZR_cReport
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sonLd-32ns4Report
I mean
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABXtWqmArUU&w=560&h=315%5DReport
I love “Long Long Time!” Sometimes I wish there were more songs like that, but I guess its uniqueness is part of what makes it great.
Here are some classic Japanese break-up songs I’m pretty sure you haven’t heard. Most of you will have to take my word for it that they are break-up songs, but who listens to music for the lyrics, anyway?
Cactus Flower, by The Tulips, a folk group from the 70s.
Tainted Bonds, by Yutaka Ozaki, on a Japanese YouTube knock-off site because it’s not on the real YouTube. A friend of mine said it’s “like Springsteen, but not,” which I guess is kind of fair. Still a great song, sadly released just after Ozaki died in a suitably rock-and-roll fashion, at least by Japanese standards.
O My Love, by Mayumi Itsuwa. Not really sure what genre I’d call this. It’s not actually enka, but it’s enough like enka that most Japanese people under 40 think Itsuwa is an enka singer.
I Have No Words, by Off Course. 60s rock band that kind of reminds me of REO speedwagon, though maybe only because the lead singer has a similarly high-pitched voice.
The Way Back Home, by Hiromi Iwasaki. Standard late-Showa Japanese symphonic pop. I love the bridge at 0:40.
Shipwreck, by Akina Nakamori, wherein a breakup is compared to a shipwreck. More symph pop. Great song, but also worth watching the video for the dissonance between her delicate frame and powerful voice. The original version, by Tokiko Kato, is also great.Report