A Meathead Watches Gilmore Girls (“Christopher Returns” and “Star-Crossed Lovers and Other Strangers”)

Notes

The first season hasn’t been going as well as I’d hoped. I keep thinking things are going to get better but…

“Christopher Returns”

Although he has barely been mentioned, Rory’s father Christopher returned at the end of the previous episode and within minutes, he had been invited to stay at Lorelai’s (palatial) estate. He’s also been invited to a weekly dinner at the Gilmores and, perhaps more concerningly, so have his parents. It is here that we begin to get a better understanding of what it was that happened in the aftermath of Lorelai’s pregnancy.

We should start by remembering that Lorelai’s distance from her parents is driven by their longstanding disagreement with one another about what was best for whom. Lorelai always believed she knew best. Lorelai’s parents felt the same way. But they disagreed about the specifics, never as obviously as in the immediate aftermath of her pregnancy. Richard and Emily insisted that Lorelai marry Christopher. She balked and later fled with Rory. We can argue about what would have been the better decision – you’ll be wrong if you decide to defend the idea that teenagers should be married to one another – but there’s no point: we know that Lorelai left and that there was no marriage.

But hope remains. Christopher is back on the East Coast and reporting a potentially huge financial breakthrough. For reasons that aren’t particularly clear, Rory is happy to have her father around. Christopher and Rory pal around and she introduces him to Dean and later, other members of the Stars Hollow family. They even stop at the bookstore so that Rory can choose a gift for herself. She does, but Christopher’s credit card is refused, the first sign of trouble. Later, as the three of them have dinner, Emily calls and invites everybody over for a dinner that will include Christopher’s parents. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see trouble brewing.

Brew it does, boiling over within minutes of everybody assembling. Christopher’s father blames Lorelai for corrupting his son – he plays an outrageous heel here, and the only thing he didn’t do was murder a puppy in front of everyone – and Richard explodes, kicking Christopher’s parents out of his home.

So what we have here is an excellent moment of Gilmore unity against an outside threat and an excellent filling-in of the show’s mythology. What we have next is…not.

Lorelai and Christopher retreat to her old room while everybody attempts to calm down, and like adults who have barely seen each other during the sixteen years of their daughter’s life, they immediately get to the having of the sex. Because, yknow, obviously. In fact, they’re so busy doing it that Lorelai manages to forget that she was supposed to help Luke paint the diner (remember that storyline). So now, Lorelai has not only inexplicably had sex with her daughter’s father (after 14 episodes in which she makes it clear that she trends toward incredible personal conservatism since Rory’s birth) but she’s also abandoned Luke. BECAUSE TELEVISION I GUESS.

Later, she goes to thank her father for rising to her defense, and Richard insists that his interest is protecting the family name, not her. He insists that she doesn’t know the damage she did when she refused to marry Christopher and whatever good feelings we had a result of Richard’s stirring defense. He appears to be as much of a horse’s ass as Emily often does. It’s a pathetic display.

The next day, Christopher proposes marriage and Lorelai refuses. Rory pushes for her to reconsider but she soberly explains that she won’t, not while this version of Christopher is the predominant one.

And of course, when Luke shows up later, Lorelai has (broken in and) repainted the diner by herself, missing the opportunity for friendship together time but completing the job that she insisted upon. I suppose that’s something.

“Star-Crossed Lovers and Other Strangers”

Rory and Dean celebrate their third-anniversary, and then for no good reason at all – he says, “I love you,” Rory balks, Dean freaks out – they break-up. Teenagers are stupid.

Luke’s ex-ladyfriend Rachel returns to Stars Hollow, and Luke, because he’s dumb, cautiously decides that she’s worth what is apparently an 800th opportunity to hurt him.

Richard and Emily decide that the best way to patch things up with Lorelai is setting her up with a douchebag of their choosing, a decision which shockingly doesn’t pay off.

Lorelai decides to call Max Medina, because holy shit is this season is incredibly difficult to follow. She doesn’t though because Rory is home and devastated by the break-up. And here again the show catches us. Lorelai’s willingness to drop everything for her daughter is what keeps us watching. But barely.

i would say the 6 mainly wtf existing
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