Everything’s Bigger in Texas…

by · August 22, 2012

Nob Akimoto

Nob Akimoto is a policy analyst and part-time dungeon master. When not talking endlessly about matters of public policy, he is a dungeon master on the NWN World of Avlis

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72 Responses

  1. Burt Likko says:
    August 22, 2012 at 10:57 pm

    Ow my brain hurts from all the crazy stuff that’s being said all over the place today.Report

  2. Creon Critic says:
    August 22, 2012 at 11:35 pm

    He said he feared Obama would hand over sovereignty of the United States to the United Nations and the unrest would naturally follow.

    I for one welcome our new United Nations overlords.Report

  3. Mike Schilling says:
    August 22, 2012 at 11:54 pm

    Wolverines!Report

  4. Kazzy says:
    August 22, 2012 at 11:57 pm

    “Look… no one knows what will happen… but there will either be Civil War… or there won’t be. Time will tell. But I guarantee you it will be one of those two outcomes.”Report

  5. Tod Kelly says:
    August 23, 2012 at 12:34 am

    Are we sure this is not a hoax? It looks like a hoax.Report

    • Tod Kelly in reply to Tod Kelly says:
      August 23, 2012 at 12:36 am

      If not, does this lead to a wingnut schism, where those that want to beef up for the coming UN invasion are pitted against those that know the invasion is coming, but are against the tax hike on fiscal principles?Report

  6. NewDealer says:
    August 23, 2012 at 12:44 am

    I saw this somewhere else on the net.

    Sadly, I am not so sure your headline is true. I have seen equally wingnutty stuff from people not in Texas. Like the Republican Senate candidate from Colorado who talked about how bike-sharing was part of a UN conspiracy to take over the state.

    Any study of the post-WWII American right-wing shows that these kind of wingnut theories have only been present. However, now we can finally say that the lunatics have taken over the asylum.Report

  7. Tod Kelly says:
    August 23, 2012 at 12:47 am

    Holy shit, what is it about the internet?

    It turns out the guy is real, and the story is reported on here on The Blaze. But look at the comments section:

    http://www.theblaze.com/stories/texas-judge-we-need-to-raise-taxes-to-prepare-for-civil-war-if-obama-is-re-elected/

    “And just a few days ago it was announced that the military has been wargaming “Civil war: 2016. Anyone else want to take a guess the massive purchase or arms, armor and ammo for Homeland Security and the maneuvers in urban terrain and snatch-and-grab tactics are indicating on the part of Obama? i figure about mid November to early December is when he will move.”
    _________________________
    “I’m in a Florida militia right now. The only other state that has more militia units than Florida isTexas.

    And you can be sure every one of them will volunteer to back up this judge and sheriff.

    If this is widely reported in the press…..or word gets to enough people via the internet about this judge’s opinion….. I‘m pretty sure there’s not only going to be an explosion in militia membership for those now existing, but there’s going to be new groups popping up every where.

    With the black Panthers issuing new threats to kill white people and white babies specifically by the NBPP’s King Shabazz……….the very same one Holder refused to prosecute, because he was one of “his people”………….things look to be coming to a critical tipping point, especially since the Panthers and their black friends in the Uhuru movement are threatening to cause havoc during the RNC in Tampa next week.”
    ________________________
    WE KNOW ITS COMING

    A Citizen’s Band Radio relay net will have to be created so militias can communicate and coordinate activities. The rogue forces will cut off the internet, shut down phone and wireless communications. The rogue forces have electronic means to create data tunnels on cell phone, and internet. CB is hard to jam, available, and easy to relocate. HAM radio cannot be used because the rogue forces know who has them. Lets get serious. DO IT.
    ___________________
    Well, somebody is finally saying it. God help us if it does happen, but you almost think this is what they want. Is Obama just going to spend us into oblivion and take all the money from producers and not expect something to happen:
    ____________________
    I promise you, Texas is NOT the place the UN,ows,nbp, or any other entity wants to start a war, civil or otherwise,and this includes the US military.This can be said for most southern states,and yes, here in Texas will will back each other,cant say we will for the california and northeastern transplants, you folks might be on your own…….
    ———————————–

    This by the way is not me selecting comments. This is just me going in order. The thing is full of them. Pages and pages of this.

    Holy shit.Report

    • Patrick Cahalan in reply to Tod Kelly says:
      August 23, 2012 at 2:37 am

      Man is that CB guy wrong. I’m just a ham newbie and I could find someone broadcasting on a CB channel with equipment I have on-site and a buddy with his own radio.Report

    • Patrick Cahalan in reply to Tod Kelly says:
      August 23, 2012 at 2:38 am

      Wow.

      Platonician
      Posted on August 22, 2012 at 11:09pm

      Good idea, but I don’t think this will suffice. One of the first Obama Executive orders after Nov. will be a massive pardon freeing all black criminal males serving time in prison. He will form an ultra-violent militia modeled after the SS with them. There were +846,000, as of 2008 in prison, according to the Bureau of Justice data.Report

    • Kolohe in reply to Tod Kelly says:
      August 23, 2012 at 7:06 am

      Didn’t Texas lose their last revolution?Report

    • Ryan Noonan in reply to Tod Kelly says:
      August 23, 2012 at 9:42 am

      Not that I’m supporting them in this, but this is why liberals look at gun people and say, “You know what? No guns.”Report

      • Citizen in reply to Ryan Noonan says:
        August 23, 2012 at 11:54 am

        I guess this is why the judge has a better view on reality, as the “gun people” would say “come and get them”.Report

        • Ryan Noonan in reply to Citizen says:
          August 23, 2012 at 1:27 pm

          Exactly. If your response to, “I’m worried about crazy people with guns doing something inane” is, “Come over here so I can shoot you to death”, you are proving the first person right.

          I’m about as pro-Second Amendment a liberal as you’ll find anywhere, but the sheer unbridled, unhinged lunacy of gun people is just so incredibly off-putting. Like rich guys with tiny sports cars, I just want to buy everyone a round of Cialis so they will CTFD.Report

          • Citizen in reply to Ryan Noonan says:
            August 23, 2012 at 2:14 pm

            Not really, I look at one persons ability to produce laws as dangerous as the person who is wielding the gun. Its just a different flavor of lunacy.

            There are reasons the Constitution and Bill of Rights wasn’t a 10,000 page document. Maybe the authors intended us to be obligated not to impose much will on each other.Report

  8. Kazzy says:
    August 23, 2012 at 12:48 am

    Didn’t Texas already threaten to secede and elect Chuck Norris as their President?

    No, seriously…

    http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2009/03/12/chuck-norris-for-president-…-of-texas/Report

  9. Nob Akimoto says:
    August 23, 2012 at 3:46 am

    I TOLD YOU!

    But noooo.

    “Can’t possibly be that crazy”.Report

    • Kimmi in reply to Nob Akimoto says:
      August 23, 2012 at 9:40 am

      Since you’re in texas, this one ought to be easy.
      A close friend of mine knows a lot of people from Texas…
      They all have enemies lists.

      What one thing do the enemies lists have in common?

      😉Report

  10. James Hanley says:
    August 23, 2012 at 8:17 am

    Texas also has a U.S. Senate candidate who thinks the UN is trying to abolish golf courses, roads, and pastures. For realsies.Report

    • Nob Akimoto in reply to James Hanley says:
      August 23, 2012 at 8:25 am

      And it’s not like Cruz is some sort of fringe candidate. He’s the frontrunner who beat Lt. Governor Dewhurst for the GOP nomination and is likely to win this November.Report

      • Tod Kelly in reply to Nob Akimoto says:
        August 23, 2012 at 9:50 am

        Having looked at the linked page, my big question is:

        Why is the State of Texas looking to elect Bill Murray to the Senate?Report

        • Mark Thompson in reply to Tod Kelly says:
          August 23, 2012 at 10:57 am

          Are you kidding me? They don’t even have to have a reason! It’s the perfect Cinderella Story! Sure, he won’t give his constituents any money, but when they die, on their death beds, they will all receive total consciousness.

          So they got that goin’ for them, which is nice.

          Unfortunately, Mr. Cruz/Murray may have one eensy-weensy problem in his election campaign. There’s a rumor going around that he possesses a license to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. If that turns out to be true, then he’s going to have hell to pay, especially in Lubbock County. Judge Smai….err, Head don’t play that game.Report

  11. BlaiseP says:
    August 23, 2012 at 8:19 am

    There’s no underestimating Murkan Crazy. Every time I think I’ve seen America at its dumbest, rolled mine eyes to heaven and uttered nunc dimittis, here comes a fresh batch of crazy down the the pike. Nunc dumbitass.Report

  12. Citizen says:
    August 23, 2012 at 10:08 am

    God I love Texas.Report

  13. Citizen says:
    August 23, 2012 at 10:44 am

    Akula nuclear attack sub anyone?Report

  14. Morat20 says:
    August 23, 2012 at 11:19 am

    Texas crazies are special crazies, but Texas is closer to the whole Demographic Republican Apocolapyse where there simply aren’t enough old white guys to keep electing Republicans, and thus pandering to brown people will have to begin. (George Bush, for all his myriad flaws, was quite aware of this and tried. His party shot him down).

    You might say Texas basically leads the nation in GOP crazy. We exported it to the rest of the nation back in 1994.

    However, you guys are ALL missing the REAL point: A GOP politician just wanted to raise taxes.Report

    • Nob Akimoto in reply to Morat20 says:
      August 23, 2012 at 11:21 am

      They’ve been doing a pretty good job of keeping the demographic apocalypse in check.Report

      • Morat20 in reply to Nob Akimoto says:
        August 23, 2012 at 12:48 pm

        Well, not letting them vote is something I suppose. 🙂

        Texas is hitting minority majority soon (I don’t believe it’s happened yet) and the GOP is getting a wee bit upset as the cities turn bluer. Austin, San Antonio, and now Houston….

        Since land doesn’t vote, and the GOP has decided to go with the Arizona plan on wooing immigrants, Texas can’t stay Red. Which lends a sort of frantic, doom-filled hysteria to the Republicans who look further than the next election.

        The trends are against them, they cannot go on as they are. They will have to change. (Which is just life, and happens to all political parties. The Democrats of today are not the Democrats of 1960, for instance). People tend not to like change.

        The GOP will buckle on, at least, the anti-immigrant hysteria or they will lose Texas in the next two decades. And the rest of the Southwest. (Or, I suppose, they will continue to play games with eligable voters….).

        Anyhoo — the hysteria from this guy? He can see the future, and his brand of GOP is dead. It’ll have to change to survive (it will, I am certain, change to survive) but it won’t be what he believes here and now. How different? No one knows. It’ll be what it’ll be.

        But when you feel surrounded on all sides by the enemy, when your political beliefs are not only challenged but you feel under seige, when people who believe other than you win and keep winning, when you can look ahead and see more and more people on their side and fewer on yours….

        It’s probably an easy jump to black helicopters and paranoia.Report

        • Nob Akimoto in reply to Morat20 says:
          August 23, 2012 at 12:53 pm

          The thing is Austin, Houston and San Antonio were all blue last election…And yet the state is consistently cranking out crazy white rich dudes to represent everything from the state leg to the local school board. They’re also coming up with more institutional ways to make things worse, as a cursory glance at Austin’s recent flaps will show…

          From privatizing Austin Energy to city council reform into a form that’ll favor the blocs of wealthy whites, it’s looking pretty ugly for at least three or four more election cycles.Report

          • Morat20 in reply to Nob Akimoto says:
            August 23, 2012 at 2:39 pm

            Oh yeah. It’s gonna get worse before it gets better. Federally, it can’t get much worse — that mid-cycle re-districting can’t really by topped when it comes to US House seats. 2010’s probably the high-water mark for GOP reps from Texas to Congress.

            The Texas Leg — and the various boards, which have tons of power — have much the same advantage.

            One thing to keep in mind about Texas — it’s Constitution and Governmental setup was basically a middle-finger at Reconstruction. Everything that can be is handled “lower down” the food chain than in most states. Lt. Governor holds more power than Governor, for instance. (Because Governors were appointed during Reconstruction, and Lt. Governor’s were elected).Report

  15. DensityDuck says:
    August 23, 2012 at 12:25 pm

    You know those times when you guys wonder why there’s no rational discourse left in America?

    Two Minutes Hate shit like this post is part of the reason why.Report

  16. Brandon Berg says:
    August 23, 2012 at 3:59 pm

    Politician manufactures crisis to justify raising taxes. Story at eleven.Report

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