Aloha, everyone!
I’m just coming up for air after having spent a two-week vacation on the East coast, where I spent time in Manhattan, Connecticut and the Berkshires. In each place I stayed, there was either no time to turn on an electronic device, or I was in a place that had no cell phone or Internet connection. I literally have no idea what has been happening in the world while I’ve been gone. I’m writing this as I’m waiting to board a plane home, so believe me when I say that other than being reasonably certain we’re not at war with Canada, I have no idea what I’ve missed.
Have the Olympics started? Has Texas suceeed? Have we moved on from the idiotic “when he said ‘it,’ was he referring to roads or your kid’s lemonade stand” debate? Did anyone bother to fix the economy while I was gone?
If people could just list at least one thing I missed in the world or the League in the comments sections, I’d consider it a solid.
My vacation might well have been called In-Law Tour 2012!, since the main thrust of it was for us to reconnect with all of my wife’s immediate family members. And it was crazy busy. In Manhattan I got to see both Book of Mormon and Peter and the Star Catcher on Broadway, and – even better – got to spend an evening drinking beers with fellow Leaguer Mark Thompson. I don’t normally like to do things when traveling that I can just as easily do at home, but after tiring of my kids constant requests – (these requests came approximately every 15 minutes after we left Portland) – we went to go see Dark Night Rises in Connecticut. The Berkshires had a great blueberry festival my sister-in-law and her partner helped organize; plus, the peaceful quiet of being entirely shut off from email, phone calls, internet browsing and television was rejuvenating.
Here are four quick observations about the East Coast and its denizens, while it’s all still fresh in my head:
1. The disparaging reputation New Yorkers have in Middle America is, I think, a by-product of Middle Americans not spending any time in New York. My experience with New Yorkers on this trip matched all of my previous experiences: everyone I met in Manhattan was friendly, helpful and interesting.
2. Even though they are incredibly nice, East Coasters do seem to have a different mindset than people in the Pacific Northwest. There’s a sense of urgency about everything here that I don’t feel back home. I love spending time here, but it will be nice to get back to a more laid-back vibe.
3. I think people on the East Coast are afraid of the rain. It rained at least once in each place we stayed, and in each place it really seemed to freak people out. We’d be in a diner and it would start to rain, and everyone would stop eating and stare out the window with a look of mild panic; they hadn’t brought umbrellas into the restaurant – how were they ever going to make it back to their cars? At one point in Connecticut we were in a public library so that we could use their wi-fi to assist my mother-in-law with some computer issues, and people there kept asking the librarian if the city was going to close the building early because there were reports of thunder storms approaching. I found this all to be quite curious, because I live in Portland. It rains so often in Portland that no one bothers with umbrellas. If it’s the middle of July and you’re going on a picnic and it rains, you say “Fish it!” and go anyway, because you’ve waited nine months for a sunny day and you’re not going to let a complete lack of sun get in the way of you having one, damn it.
4. New Englanders have entire conversations about how to get places in their cars. Everyone – and I mean everyone – has their own strongly held opinions about which combination of directions that leads from point A to point B is The Correct Route. As a West Coast person, I find these conversations tiring.
An East Coast Conversation About Directions:
Me: Hey, it was really great meeting you guys. If you’ll excuse me, I need to hit the road for Tanglewood.
Person A: Tanglewood, eh? Well, you’re going to want to take the 373. But to get there, you’ll want to take the old Miller road and –
Person B: No, don’t take 373, that’ll take forever! You’ll want to take the 9 over to the 1 all the way to I-84.
Me: Oh thanks, but I have Google maps on my phone, so –
Person A: No, don’t have him go 84! He’ll have to go through Westbury! Look, you want to go down the old Miller road till you pass the third Dairy Queen. But you wanna be careful – the second Dairy Queen doesn’t have signage, so you’ll want to look for Kyle’s yellow Explorer in the parking lot. Kyle’s the owner of that Dairy Queen. He bought it from the McKenzie’s back in ’84, you know, and –
Person B: No, he bought it in ’79, and you actually want to go past the Third Dairy Queen until you pass the Meyer’s farm, and then you want to take the left, but the soft left, not the big left, and if you see the Danburry Mall you’ll know you’re going the wrong direction, and you’ll want to…
Me: [Stops listening and starts going through old email on phone]
This phenomenon actually makes sense when you think about it, because in New England the cities and towns are densely packed throughout the states, and there is a bevy of connecting highways, byways, private roads and turnpikes connecting them all. So there really are a hundred ways to get anywhere. I’m from the West Coast, where there’s generally only one way to get anywhere.
A West Coast Conversation About Directions:
Person A: Hey, what’s the best route to take to get to Seattle?
Person B: Um… You take I-5. What are you, a moron?
So tell me, what’s been happening here and in the world at large? What’d I miss?
Kazzy’s a frontpager, Sam gave us step-by-step instructions on how to season a cast iron skillet, and Burt announced the Democracy Symposium.Report
you forgot to mention the zombies.
Glad you had a great trip TodReport
I think that’s all a pretty good summation.
‘Twas awesome having the aforementioned beers with you, my friend. As for your observations about Northeasterners and rain, I can’t say that you’re wrong. But I can say that if you thought that NY and New England were bad on that front, just wait until you’re in DC next month. There is no place on the planet where even a hint of the mildest bit of inclement weather causes as much panic and fear as it does in the DC metropolitan area.
….And yes, getting directions in the Northeast is an invitation to debate. Whenever The Wife and I are leaving my in-laws house near Philly, if we’re going somewhere other than home, we need to leave an extra 15 minutes for the argument that is sure to ensue over how best to advise how to get to whatever destination it is we are going; this advice, of course, is never sought in this day of GPS, but that doesn’t stop it from being given.Report
If you had to live at the mercy of WMATA, you’d find inclement weather totally horrifying too.Report
As horrible as WMATA can be (no argument there), it’s still better than dealing with DC drivers when there are a few rain clouds threatening. And don’t even get me started on what happens when it snows in DC.Report
Last time it snowed heavily in DC, I had a week off work followed by a week on Amelia Island. It wasn’t so bad!Report
ZOMBIES!Report
I’m hoping that Kazzy writing up top means we’ll have more sports posts that before.Report
We had absolutely wonderful weather in Oregon while you were away.Report
Oh, you live in Oregon, too? So that’s another person I have to be jealous of. Sigh.Report
Yes, just outside of Portland actually. I go into the big city a few times a week. I’ve only lived in a few states, but Oregon is my favorite by far.Report
I know what you mean. Every time Tod or anyone else mentions that they live there, I start pining for my days in the verdant NW Portland. Now we’re in Southern California and it is soooo brown!Report
Well I think good portions of the country right now are trying to mimic that California brown.Report
I visited Portland mid last year and found it rather dreary. Possibly because it’s wet and soggy like Nova Scotia and I couldn’t get outta there fast enough. The people were nice though surprisingly similar to Portlandia.Report
Any time I feel like visiting Oregon, I just go to a west campus Starbucks with a bunch of white, overly hip people.Report
It depends on what you’re looking at. Texas succeeds at some things, but not others.Report
oops.
fixed. thanks for the catch.Report
I’m going to bookmark this page.Report
???
Why?Report
Wherever I went in the world, however off the grid, incommunicado for however long, personally there’s one thing I would never think to doubt for a moment: that Texas is succeeding while I am doing other things. At least, certain parts of it. Spectacularly.Report
Danny Boyle showed the world that Britain’s new image for the 21st century will be “The Most Confusing Place on Earth.”Report
” The disparaging reputation New Yorkers have in Middle America is, I think, a by-product of Middle Americans not spending any time in New York. ”
I think there’s a great deal of truth in that. In fact, I think a lot of middle-america have opinions about NYC which are based in either (a) their imaginations, or (b) hollywood.
I grew up in NYC, and now that I don’t live there anymore I tend to get the following comments rather frequently:
(a) I’m nicer than anyone expected.
(b) I don’t talk like someone out of Goodfellas.
(c) I don’t swear as much as they expect.
I also think that the rest of America spends a lot more time thinking about what NYC thinks about them, then NYC actually does. The first time I ever heard the phrase “fly-over country” stated by a real person (and not on cable news) was on the Idaho/Wyoming border by an Alaskan who asked me what I was doing there. (Answer: skiing) I have never heard a NY’er use the phrase except ironically.
Similarly, I once found myself in a very one-sided heated debate with a girl from Kansas. We were both living in DC at the time and she was convinced that as a NY’er I must have strong negative opinions about Kansas. Actually, not really. My mother was born there, I once had to go there on a work trip, and I’ve driven across it–it’s flat. That’s about it. She was convinced that I had to harbor some sort of evil or negative thoughts about Kansas. But my thoughts about Kansas are the same as my thoughts about Ottowa — it’s somewhere I’m not, and perhaps I’ll visit someday.
If anything, I think there’s a factor wherein smaller communities imagine a rivalry or something similar with NYC in an effort to boost their own internal standing. When I lived in DC it was common for DC folks to ask me what I thought about “the BIG rivalry.”
“What big rivalry?”
“You know, the rivalry between DC and NYC as the best city on the east coast.”
“You think there’s a rivalry?!”Report
What I think people also don’t really consider is the extent to which people in New York aren’t from there. Obviously, a lot of New Yorkers have been New Yorkers their whole lives (especially on Long Island), but it’s a huge cosmopolitan metropolis. A lot of people in New York grew up in so-called flyover country. Why on earth would they have these horrible stereotypical feelings about it?
I mean, I live in DC. And I know a lot more people who are from my home state (Michigan) than are from the District, Maryland, and Virginia combined.Report
I woke up this morning wondering where you’ve been, Tod. Okay, there was some time passed and a few sips of coffee between the two, but, truly, very glad to have you back.Report
You really are a westerner. No east coaster would ever say “the 373”.Report
But are you a true east coaster? I assume that real people drop the “the” and simply say “take 373” or “there’s traffic on 158, you’ve got to get to bypass 40.” Is that what you had in mind?Report
This is a thing, in California.
You can recognize a Northern Californian from a Southern Californian instantly by asking them directions. If they say, “Get on 5 and go north to 105”, they’re from Northern California. If they say, “Get on the 134 and take it to the 2”, they’re from Southern California.
I now have to say I’m from Southern California, ’cause I don’t talk like a NoCal-er no’ mo’.
Also: if you ever want to get into a discussion about how to get from here to there, there is *no other place on the planet* that will result in more discussion than the Los Angeles basin and adjacent communities.Report
In all the places I’ve lived, one cannot reasonably use the indefinite article with directions and expect to be understood at all.
There will be several streets, roads and highways with the same name, so one needs to explain the street/roads/avenues/courts/boulevard/court/places as well as county/state/US/interstate highways.
Georgia is probably a lot worse than Wisconsin in this regard.Report
H-degger is a frontpager now. It’s sort of weird.Report
I too am just returning from New England. And like you, I was in places so far off the map there was no internet, nor one stick of cell service. Further, I was also catching up with family members not seen in years.
You missed a spell of non-news, served up in a steaming pile from CNN. I write of Chick fil a, and what the MSM has coined the “Culture Wars.”
But you also missed some notable news. Michael Phelps, after winning his 19th gold medal is now the most decorated olympian in modern history.
Welcome back, and fair well in my city of Washington, D.C. when you visit.
Michael
PS
We don’t freak out when it rains.Report