Weekend!

I’ve realized that the week has three major punctuations for me:

1) Holy Crap! I have to write my Thursday night “Weekend!” post!
2) Holy Crap! I have to get out of bed and write my “Saturday” post!
3) Holy Crap! I have to get out of bed and write my “Sunday” post!

1) is one of my favorite times of the week. It’s sort of a reward for plowing through all of the crazy stuff that happened. There were usually at least two crises, three meetings, and one surprise phone call from someone that can’t reach my boss’s boss or my boss so, instead, he calls me and asks me a question about something that will have me saying, as politely as I can, “Dude, you know that you need to talk to boss’s boss about that.”

So getting to the point where I know that I’ll probably only have one more of those days before I can go home and sink into a chair? Whew. Heaven.

And, for some reason, weeks where Maribou has been away have much more intense crises, meetings, and/or surprise phone calls. It will be sooooooooooooo nice when she gets back home.

I will be picking her up right after SUMMERSLAM!!!!

Which, on paper, seems to have a pretty decent card (but I’m worried that it won’t be as awesome in actuality as the buildup seems to indicate).

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus in a “WHY CAN’T THIS BE A LOSER LEAVES TOWN MATCH? ALSO A WINNER LEAVES TOWN MATCH?? AND THEY BOTH LEAVE TOWN IN THE CASE OF A TIE MATCH???” (Prediction: Pain.)

John Cena vs. Seth Rollins in a Champion Takes All match (both guys’ titles on the line). (Prediction: Seth wins it by cheating. And not “perfectly acceptable cheating” either. Cheating cheating. Bad taste in your mouth cheating.)

Ryback vs. The Big Show vs. The Miz in a Triple Threat Match. (Prediction: Ryback is more interesting chasing a belt than defending it. The win goes to The Miz who is more interesting with a belt than without one.)

Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper vs. Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns. (Prediction: Wyatt and Harper are a strong family again and Reigns needs a heel turn very, very badly in order to get the breathing/learning room he needs to eventually become a draw. We’re going to see a heel turn from Reigns to set up an Ambrose/Reigns match at WrestleMania.)

El Matadores vs. The Lucha Dragons vs. Brand New Day vs. The Prime Time Players. (Prediction: Brand New Day doesn’t need belts to be the highlight of the tag team championship division (but they should, occasionally, win them to demonstrate their basic competence). This would be a good match to either give them wins over El Matadores and Lucha Dragons only to lose at the hands of PTP in order for them to spend the next month complaining about injustice *OR* it’d be a good opportunity for them to win the belts for a couple of weeks (before losing them again.[/efn_note]

Stephen Amell and Neville vs. Stardust and King Barrett. (Prediction: Why in the heck do they bring celebrities in if they’re just going to use them to bury the real talent??? We’re going to see Neville bounce around like a pinball and play the face-in-peril for 15 minutes before Stephen Amell comes in to steal a win with a b.s. finisher before disappearing back into Arrow. Though Stardust should keep the “be my hero” catchphrase for a year or so. That’s some good stuff right there.)

Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro. (Prediction: This will be the highlight of the night. Both guys deserve to be pushed to the moon, it’s a pity that this will be a zero-sum match. Kevin Owens needs a win after the last few weeks of jobbing out… though Cesaro might finally have reached the end of his “we’ve seen what you’re like when you win, what are you like when you lose?” seasoning at the hands of management. I’m guessing that they’ll give the win to Owens as Cesaro’s last major loss before Cesaro starts seeing a stronger push again.)

Team Bella vs. Team B.A.D. vs. PCB. (Prediction: if you had been thinking “I wonder when would be a good time to go to the bathroom?”, then this match is for you. I am looking forward to Charlotte applying the Figure Eight at some point.)

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rusev. (Prediction: Ugh. Why was I looking forward to Summerslam again? Anyway, Dolph will give his best Jeff Jarrett impression by wrestling his heart out but not connecting with the crowd at all. He’ll win.)

And, finally, the reason you’re shelling out for the show:

Ladies and Gentlemen, BRRRRROCK LESNAR vs. THE UNDERTAKER. (Prediction: Heyman’s promos will remind you why you watch, the match itself will completely lack psychology, The Undertaker will get his win back.)

All in all, I’m hoping that two of the matches will be barn-burners and the remainders will be pleasant surprises.

And then I leave straightaway from the couch to the airport to pick up Maribou and tell her all about it.

So… what’s on your docket?

(Photo is “Footrace finish line, 1925” from the Seattle Municipal Archives, used under a creative commons license)