Fantasy Football Week 6 In Review And NFL Open Thread
The Week in Review apologizes for the delay, but what could you expect with the imminent arrival of Nibiru causing climate change and earthquakes! What, you do not believe us?!? Read this and BELIEEEEEEVE!
Planet X Causes Nelson Forte Alignment for Thunderlips Express!!!
The planets aligned for coach Dman this week and allowed the Express to overcome Andrew Hawkin’ up a donut and still scoring this week’s Peak of the Week. Add to that CJ Spillin’ his donuts as well and Patterson, Maclim, and Davis barely scratching a dozen points causing Brian’s Best Team to be Bested. Tu talked with coach Dman after the win.
Tu: {Sigh} Good win coach.
Dman: It was very nice. Forte seems to be hitting his stride and Nelson has been a great pickup as well.
Tu: Even with the win, are you concerned with the poor choices of sitting Johnson and Wallace in favor of Hawkins and Garcon?
Dman: I was just benching Johnson to motivate him. It definitely worked.
Tu: {Eye roll}……
Dman: Okay, fine. It was a terrible move.
Freak of the Week
The Streak is over! Yet there was still enough in the tank with DeMarco Murray and Andre Brown to beat the GoingSouth Dragons. The Dragons decided to have four players lay goose eggs and another scoring only four points, which allowed the ContumeliousAnalysts to still have the Freak of the Week after having the second lowest score from their season. Tu met with coach Jaybird after the game.
Tu: The roll continues coach.
Jaybird: Some days you win because you’re good. Some days you win because you’re lucky.
Tu: And which was this?
Jaybird: My opponent forgot that he was playing.
Tu: Luck, then?
Jaybird: The vagaries of the schedule. I’ve heard dozens of stories about how this guy got the 2nd highest score in the league…
Tu: But he happened to play the guy who got the highest?
Jaybird: You’ve heard the story too, I see. Some weeks you’re playing against Manning…
Tu: And some weeks you’re playing against Tebow?
Jaybird: I said we’ve quit making Tebow jokes, thank you very much.
Squeak of the Week
Nostradamus is swiping a little sweat from his brow. The Levellers, just coming off the highest score in the league, tried to break the Quatrains but fell one point short to the Warriors. The worst part is the Levellers could not have scraped up even a point from their bench. Almost as if it was preordained to happen this way.
The Quatrains of Nostradamus
Did Nostradamus predict the coming of Nemisis? Well, he has continued to predict this league very well.
Remember dear reader that the records listed below are the number of wins and losses still needed for Nostradamus to be proven right.
ContumeliousAnalysts: 5-3
Team Pooh Bear: 5-2-1 AKA: The Anointed Ones
Thunderlips Express: 4-2-2
Waynesport Wildcats: 6-2
Partisan Warrior’s: 4-5-(1)
DownSouth Dragons: 6-2 AKA: GoingSouth Dragons
The Levellers: 0- 8
Brian’s Best Team: 1-7
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The Levellers lost because Percy Harvin caught 3 passes for 0 yards. Is that even possible? That has to be a record of some sort.Report
I had him last year (or the year before?) and he was a danged monster. According to the webs, he’s difficult to work with and Seattle is more of a “there’s no I in Team” kinda program.
The trade also involves how well he does for the Jets… so if Harvin is a monster out there, Seattle gets a 2nd round pick. If Harvin is mediocre? A 4th round pick. So everybody has reason to want him to do well.
But still. The Jets.Report
Bill James had an article where he identified a set of people as “Walter Matthaus”. Basically, people who have clear, noticeable virtues, and actually are (or can be) net positives to have around – but you drive yourself crazy figuring out what to /do/ with them.
I think the original article was about Juan Samuel, the 1980s Phillie second baseman. Who was blazingly fast, hit for a decent average and could slap the ball into the alleys – but never walked, so you couldn’t lead him off, didn’t have real home run power so you couldn’t put him in the middle of the order, had a terrible glove, and didn’t really have the hang of basestealing so it didn’t add runs when he ran wild.
Harvin might be like that. He’s a great running back, but he’s 180 pounds when wet and fragile to boot, so you can’t give him 100 carries a season out of the backfield. He’s not strong enough to beat press coverage, so you can’t split him wide. He doesn’t run routes well enough to be a Welker out of the slot or a Sproles out of the backfield. He’s a credible threat on bubble screens and jet sweeps if he’s on the field for every play so that defenses can’t just key on him when he’s in, but he refuses to play every down. If he was as good at returning kicks as Devin Hester, you could slide him into a similar role – maybe have an 11-personnel package where he just runs fly patterns in case the defense breaks down – and even if he isn’t quite that good, it might be worth it for 4-5M per year, but not 11M.Report