First Person / Ten Second News

The Dog Ate My Homework

by Burt Likko · November 19, 2015

Burt Likko

Pseudonymous Portlander. Pursuer of happiness. Bon vivant. Homebrewer. Atheist. Recovering Republican. Recovering Catholic. Recovering divorcé. Editor-in-Chief Emeritus of Ordinary Times. Relapsed Lawyer, admitted to practice law (under his real name) in California and Oregon. There's a Twitter account at @burtlikko, but not used for posting on the general feed anymore. House Likko's Words: Scite Verum. Colite Iusticia. Vivere Con Gaudium.

Maribou says:

November 20, 2015 at 1:05 am

Jaybird and I are in agreement that:

“Wow, cats might pee on stuff all the time, but at least they never do that!”Report
- CK MacLeod in reply to Maribou says:
  
  November 20, 2015 at 1:17 am
  
  Yeah, too busy sharpening their claws on the formerly valuable furniture.Report
  - Maribou in reply to CK MacLeod says:
    
    November 20, 2015 at 9:33 pm
    
    @ck-macleod We don’t believe in valuable furniture, other than sentimental value. For example, we still have the same couch/loveseat set that Jay’s had since he was a kid (it’s been reupholstered once and is probably going to experience that again in the coming year. Also restuffed because ow.)
    
    Shabby chic just looks *better* when it’s got cat holes / shreds / etc.Report
Mike Schilling says:

November 20, 2015 at 2:20 am

Ouch. I hope she didn’t swallow any of those shards.Report
Kim says:

November 20, 2015 at 8:09 am

On the bright side, at least your dog didn’t blow up your house…Report
- Marchmaine in reply to Kim says:
  
  November 20, 2015 at 9:27 am
  
  …or embezzle your funds, shift them to off-shore accounts, steal your identities and move to Belize. That would really suck.Report
  - Kim in reply to Marchmaine says:
    
    November 20, 2015 at 9:33 am
    
    March,
    Ah, but I have news reports on this bad dog:
    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/bad-puppy-chews-hole-spray-blows-owner-house-article-1.1575426Report
    - Marchmaine in reply to Kim says:
      
      November 20, 2015 at 9:35 am
      
      Right, I assumed as much… that’s why the rest of us put links in our wacky comments.Report
      - Kim in reply to Marchmaine says:
        
        November 20, 2015 at 9:42 am
        
        I’m pretty sure most people around here assume I’m lying, most of the time…Report
        
        Marchmaine in reply to Kim says:
        
        November 20, 2015 at 9:50 am
        
        For those of us who don’t, its the agony of unkowing that hurts.Report
        
        Kim in reply to Marchmaine says:
        
        November 20, 2015 at 9:56 am
        
        I never lie here. That’s what makes it fun.
        The truth is so much more unbelievable than fiction, anyhow.
        
        To quote a segment of my life (not me speaking): “My imaginary friends will not be showing up to court to testify on anything.” (they’re being subpoenaed as expert witnesses, again).
        
        (and I suppose I’ll try and give you more links, then. Not that I get all my news from publically available sources)Report
Will H. says:

November 21, 2015 at 12:08 am

And I remember when CDs came out, the big selling point was that they would never scratch or deteriorate like vinyl.
Practically indestructible, those things are.
Last forever.Report