Thursday Night Bar Fight #11: In Which You are Not Burgess Meredith in The Twilight Zone
Bad news, everyone!
A meteor with devastating levels of radiation has collided with the Earth! Fortunately, most everyone you know has access to a room in special, radiation-proof apartment buildings the government has hastily thrown together. Due to contamination protocols, you will live by yourself in your own apartment six days a week; every seventh day, you will be allowed to mingle with others from your building in the commons area. You will need to live in this apartment for the next ten years; after that, the radiation levels will have dissipated enough for you to go outside again without threat of lethal exposure.
However, due to lack of time there was not enough time to fully complete the apartments as designed. (Thanks a lot, Obama!)
The original plan was to have each room be able to access every book, musical recording, movie or television show ever produced. Sadly, the buildings in your town could not be completed before lockdown – which is right now. In your town, there are four buildings ready to take you, but each has access to only one medium: books, music, movies or TV. Any one you choose will have access to everything ever in that medium, but nothing in any of the other mediums.
And therein lies this Thursday Night Bar Fight quandary:
Which building do you choose to spend the next ten years trapped inside – Books, Music, Movies or Television – and why?
As always, there are some rules you must consider:
- You may take nothing with you, and no other forms of entertainment of diversions will exist in your room. This includes computers, paper, pencils, pens, paint, etc. Accessing pre-programmed medium will be the only thing you can do for six days every week, save sleep, eat, think, shower, and go to the bathroom.
- You can be assured that your family and friends will arrive safely in their own chosen buildings. However, you have no way on knowing which building they will choose, save guesses based on what you know about them already. If they choose another building, you will not see them again for ten years. Because of this you may wish to take their probable preferences into account as well as your own.
- You should probably consider that the one day of the week you’ll have human interaction, it will be with the type of people who chose as you did. This may or may not be important to you.
And if you would consider this bonus question:
If you were allowed to choose one thing from each of the rejected mediums (and by this I mean, one book, one record album, one movie and one entire TV series) what would you bring with you?
Ready? Go!
(Will there be video game systems available in the television building?)Report
No.Report
Which building will the guy who made that decision be in?Report
Not yours.Report
Shoot.Report
Best response to a Barfight ever.
#murdermurdermurderReport
I stand with Jaybird on this.Report
Books.
ALL of Beethoven’s symphonies; does I, Claudius count as a movie or a TV series? Maybe Blade Runner?; maybe Jackass to balance everything out?Report
I suppose I should also ask which drugs are available because, seriously, if there’s weed available, that changes all kinds of stuff. (“Television” becomes a player, for example.)
Books would allow for such things as “D&D books” which would allow for the weekly meeting to have a D&D game… and, at this point, I’d say that if you’re spending six days by yourself, books are an easier habit to get into and maintain as part of a solitary lifestyle (punctuated by D&D games) than, say, music would be. But, again, perhaps the drugs available would change that.
And if I could bring Quantum Leap with me, I wouldn’t need anything else.Report
I was thinking that “books” would allow for copies of plays and screenplays; one day a week, people in the book building could meet to rehearse and stage plays.
But the D&D books, and the possibilities that extend from them, is an even better idea. Bravo!Report
Books. But I think that’s cheating, as one can make music without materials.Report
Um, wait, do we get a Kindle?Report
Books, though movies would be a close second.
I’ve just always loved reading, and would rather do without any other media than do without books.Report
Missed the bonus question:
TV show — “Futurama.” I’d have said “The Simpsons,” but it sucks now in a way that “Futurama” has managed to not suck. Or maybe “Iron Chef,” since it’s real people talking about a diversity of things, and it would help cut the loneliness.
Movie — sorry, there is no movie I can think of that I would want to watch over and over and over again.
Music — again, trying to think of anything I wouldn’t hate with that much repetition. I’d probably pick “The Globe Sessions.”Report
Books, though I’m with Jaybird that the lack of videogames cuts deeply.Report
Due to contamination protocols, you will live by yourself in your own apartment six days a week; every seventh day, you will be allowed to mingle with others from your building in the commons area. You will need to live in this apartment for the next ten years; after that, the radiation levels will have dissipated enough for you to go outside again without threat of lethal exposure.
I could not live like this and maintain my sanity. I’d prefer the lethal exposure.Report
Books. And I made the decision pretty quickly. A decision where quantity and quality both factor into the decison.
“You should probably consider that the one day of the week you’ll have human interaction, it will be with the type of people who chose as you did. This may or may not be important to you.”
This only reinforces my decision.
I assume that books would include comic books?Report
Books. I hardly watch television anymore. Can probably live without turning on the radio. And movies are a distant second or even third to books. You’ve gotta have books man.Report
*Pops head out of motion practice Hell.*
This is tough. My first inclination was to say books, which provide almost limitless opportunities for entertainment and stimulation, but without access to the outside world, I fear my memory of sights and sounds would atrophy over time to the point where my ability to create a mental image of whatever I’m reading about would also disappear. On the other hand, I suspect that in general I’d most enjoy the company of people who chose the book building. Still, I think I’d go in another direction, especially since I doubt I’d be able to convince the most important person of all (The Wife) to go this route.
Music is tempting, with good music providing some (though by no means all) of the same benefits as good literature, but with the added benefit of not totally depriving you of your senses and appreciation for aesthetics. Still, The Wife is even less passionate about music than she is about books. Also, as much as I love music, my experience working in a record store for a couple of years back in the ’90s proved to me that talking about nothing other than music for more than an hour or two at a time is insufferable.
TV is straight out – sitcoms get stale very quickly and prior to the advent of HBO, I can’t think of a single TV drama capable of keeping me interested in a multiple episode story arc. Also, TV documentaries are generally terrible and border on fiction (notable exception: ESPN’s 30 for 30 series). I’m pretty sure I’d have a really hard time finding people I liked amongst the group that chose this building. The only positive is that it wouldn’t atrophy my memory of the outside world, nor would it dull my senses.
That leaves movies. Even though I’m far from a movie afficionado, I think this is still the best choice for me. I’m pretty sure The Wife would choose this option in any event, which is a big plus. In addition, movies would provide the visual and audio stimulation needed to keep my senses from atrophying and to keep my memory of the outside world alive. While movies are never as good as the books on which they are often based, some are sufficiently good to keep the memory of good literature alive. Some movies also have outstanding soundtracks, so in situations where I really wanted to listen to some music, I could always just flip to appropriate scenes from such movies and just close my eyes. Also, there are no shortage of good documentary films. Oh – and assuming that we get access to them, I’d be able to keep myself occupied by using foreign films to teach me new languages.
Last but not least, few people enjoy conversations where one is able to shoehorn in a movie quote more than I; being surrounded by people with similar – but perhaps even more exagerrated – mannerisms would definitely be a plus.Report
Alone. You. Alone. I did not read this to include your wife; she gets her own apartment.
ou can be assured that your family and friends will arrive safely in their own chosen buildings. However, you have no way on knowing which building they will choose, save guesses based on what you know about them already. If they choose another building, you will not see them again for ten years.
So you would have a chance to see her once a week — if she chooses the same media you do. But you do not get to share the apartment with her.
This (plus not going outside) is why I opted for a lethal dose of radiation.Report
+1Report
Everyone’s saying books. I didn’t understand the question to be framed in that way — I thought it solicited specific items of media. So I might pick (for instance) Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 20, Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours, Neal Stephenson’s Baroque Cycle (yes, including Cryptonomicon), a yoga manual, and The Shawshank Redemption.Report
Any one you choose will have access to everything ever in that medium, but nothing in any of the other mediums.
Books means all books, but no music, movies, or TV Series.Report
Well, then they’re all right. Books are the clearly superior choice as between the other media.Report
The bonus question was more toward what you were thinking.
You would get all books, but you’d also get to select one set of recordings,one movie, and one TV show.
For recordings, I’d probably get as complete a set of Bach’s recordings as I can find, even if it isn’t considered a great performance. Over ten years of listening, variety will matter far more than quality. (I’m taking the liberty of assuming I can get a multi-CD set.
One movie: This is almost a throwaway. I can’t think of a single movie that wouldn’t be ruined by having to watch it a dozen times. If any movie could keep my interest through multiple viewings though, it would probably be Memento.
One TV series: I’ve never actually seen a single episode of Law and Order, but that might be a good reason to pick it. Variety matters more than quality and there have to be more episodes of Law and Order than anything else.Report
I’m just going to run out into the radiation.Report
The future’s so bright.Report
Ugh, now I’m going to have that song stuck in my head for 10 years.Report
Dude! Quick! “Retrieval of you”!Report
Here’s a little song I wrote
It might make you want to slit my throatReport
If’n we’re getting nukular, “Brimful of Asha”.Report
Does television include everything I would currently find on TV? And new versions thereof? Including sports? If so, I’d take sports.
It’s weird… I’m a compulsive reader (my participation here probably makes that obvious) but I tend to read in drips and drabs. Books don’t always do it for me as the sustained attention is a struggle at this point. Hell, posts longer than a few paragraphs here usually take several attempts at reading with random something elsing in between. So, while it will be a struggle for me to make good use of the restroom with nothing to read, I find comfort in the ambient noise that emanates from the TV. And having new shows and sporting events would be awesome.Report
At first I thought music, because I listen to music most of the time. However, it is rare that I am ONLY listening to music. I am not sure if I could just listen to music for entertainment. That led me to books. I could happily spend a lot of free time reading.
Then I remembered that movies includes porn, so just to be contrarian, I will pick movies. I am going to be spending most of my time by myself anyway.Report
I’m pretty sure OVAs count as TV…Report
I think movies and television should both be rejected out of hand. Both media are subject to seeming very dated if they are much more than a decade old. Also, the economics of those industries have made it so small audiences are not well-served.
Music and books, on the other hand, are much more timeless. I’m likely to find plenty of great recordings from a variety of niche genres from the 50s, but I might only identify a handful of tolerable (though tedious) movies and no TV shows.
Between music and books though, I’d turn toward books. While books are also a passive medium, they seem less passive than watching a screen. I think I’d be much more likely to learn something from a book than from the other three media.Report
I can’t imagine a world without music. I can’t imagine not being able to read a book or watch a movie or watch a basketball game (although, I suppose since Pauley Pavilion may not be radiation-proof, there wouldn’t be any basketball games to watch), but the prospect of making it through so much as a single day without music would be a mindblowing proposition to me, where on the other hand I can get through weeks without any of the other mediums.Report
Books.
My one choice:
movie: The Princess Bride (because it always makes me happy when I watch it)
tv show: The Wonderful World of Disney (54 years of shows should keep me entertained. Masterpiece Theater is another contender)
music: Bach’s cantatas for voice (all 224 of them)
But I agree with zic: solitary confinement 6 days a week for 10 years is horrifying.Report
1. Books
2. Books
…
99. Books
100. Movies. (Assuming we mean talkies, this room cuts me off from the world before 1927.)
101. Music
102. TV (All the TV worth watching wouldn’t last more than two or three years.)Report
Oh, and the Bonus:
The book is Finnegans Wake, which after 10 years of reading might start to make sense.
The album is the complete Brandenburg Concertos.
The TV series is The Wire.
The movie is The Kids are Alright (the one with The Who).Report
1. Books
Wide range of material: fiction, non-fiction, lots of smart and entertaining stuff. Can explore the entirety of the past.
The second part is hardest:
1. Movies: The Complete Films of Francois Truffaut Box Set, TV: Doctor Who, Music: Box Set of Mozart SymphoniesReport
I would have taken video games if they were available, just the prospect of the interactivity would be priceless.
Man, it’s hard between TV and books. If it were just me, books would be an easy choice. Mrs. P. would choose books without even thinking, I am sure, as well.
I really can’t tell what the gravatar would pick – she loves books and the ‘teebee’ and would pick based the moment – I dunno if trapping toddlers alone in an apartment 6 days a week would be all that great a protocol, though. So I’ll say she has to live with me in Books.
Now, if I get to have my one little extra of each – this is tough.
Album – Hum, Downward is Heavenward
TV – Lots of good choices here – probably The Simpsons.
Movie – If I’m gonna be alone 6 days a week, I think I know what kind of movie I’m gonna pick.Report
Given the existence of television shows and movies with a heavy music focus, that makes choosing music rather foolish.
Movies means missing out on Buffy, Star Trek, and Game of thrones.
Reading isn’t done compared to the amount of tv I watch.
Clearly I should choose tv and watch shows like smash, glee, and other when I want music.Report
This is an interesting loophole (choosing TV to get music also, via music videos etc). I don’t know if it’s enough to turn me away from books as my choice, but…Report
If you pick movies, you get some music, because there’s soundtracks, of course.
I’d rather be in a fifth apartment with a 10 year supply of paper and pencils than any of the options here.Report
To answer the bonus question, assuming I’m the only guy who gets to bring in the other stuff (because if anybody can bring a book along, somebody else is going to bring the Bible)…
The Jerusalem Bible (although Finnegan’s is a good choice, Mike), Moving Pictures (to torture the rest of you), all 41 years running of PBS’s Masterpiece Theater for the television show (yeah, I’m cheating, sue me, it’s on Wikipedia’s list of Longest Running Television Shows so it counts!), and something supremely silly, like The Trouble With Harry.Report
I was thinking that if I had to pick a television show, I’d go with PBS Masterpiece Theater too, but so much of that is Masterpiece Mystery, and I’m afraid that after 10 years of watching shows about murder and only spending 1 day a week with actual people, I’d be pretty convinced that everyone was an evil killer.Report
It’s likely in this scenario that homicidal madness will set in before the ten years are up. If it’s you, you get plenty of working ideas from the show. If it’s not you, you get to hone your mystery-solving skills. Win-win!Report
Soundtracks are often a different genre of music than what’s played on records.Report
I’m with the Pirate and Patrick. I love music, but I can get music through movies and TV. It’s more like, I need music. Ten years without music and I would literally go insane. That’s literally as in literally, insane as in insane.
I need music more than I need books.
So for me the choice is between movies and TV. TV would offer more variety. That stinks as a choice, because of the four, TV is the one I respect the least, but there’s no way around it. Seven movies a day for ten years, it’s going to get every bit as predictable as the worst TV. TV has a decent variety, too: from PBS science shows to cartoons to serious dramas to Spanish soap operas.
As for my smuggled items, a bible (which has come up before in bar fights), Pink Floyd’s Wish You Were Here (another bar fight favorite), and Amadeus (just to make sure I get classical music and decent acting).Report
If I ever had to choose one TV show, it’d be Lost.Report
The problem with getting music through movies and TV is that you’ll have songs cut up and fading in and out and significantly less selection that just being able to say “oh, I wanna dig through some Howlin’ Wolf today” or “now’s as good a time as any to try to make sense of early 70s Miles Davis electric madness.” Sure, you can find bits and pieces of those somewhere maybe (although, sans books or Internet to help you research it, good luck finding that one movie or TV show that features Howlin’ Wolf extensively), but actually doing some serious listening to one particular artist or one particular era of an artist, would be impossible.Report
Yeah, but if I had access to all the Great Performances from PBS, and all the musical performances on Letterman and Conan, and all those episodes of Soul Train and American Bandstand, I think I could get by. You might not be appreciating music the wey you’d like to, but you’d be experiencing it, and you’d be a lot better off than all of those suckers in the book stacks who don’t hear anything but the sound of their own breathing for ten years.
The thing I keep thinking of is variety. A ten-year slog in one room is going to be rough without aural, visual, and mental stimulation. TV will give you plenty of the first two, and you can probably find enough of the third to get by. That’s what you’re going to be doing – getting by for ten years. Maybe I shouldn’t be assuming that you have full access to all television. If you’ve only got episodes of Cops, yeah, it’s gonna be a bad decade. Then again, I’m guessing that the book people will have more than People Magazine.Report
Books by an internal vote of 6-1.
To make the 6 solitary days a week of as pleasant as possible, books are the clear winner.
For the 7th day, I’d lean toward music for two reasons
– I think the missus would be in that building (but what if she picked the book building to catch up with me? Aaaaargh Gift of the Magi!)
– a weekly concert or rave would be really nice (though much less exciting if I’d had nothing to do but dance and listen to music the whole week)
Also, if the books were on paper, I might be willing to risk expulsion to my doom by searing radiation, by checking out some origami books and another couple of books so awful and obscure no one would be likely to miss them, and practicing origami with their pages.Report
Books, without a moment’s hesitation.
One of each of the others? That party’s hard.
Music: Lucinda Williams, probably West.
TV: no idea, really. Too few appealing choices–perhaps a long loop of the old ABC Wide World of Sports? (The thrill of victory…)
Movies: tough, too many good choices. Probably A River Runs Through It, even though I’d have the book.Report
In addition to the Video Games building that would sorely tempt me, I’d also long for a Blogs building.
Just sayin’.Report
Hey, I don’t make the rules.Report
Books of course.
But for recorded music, it would be Murray Perahia playing the Goldberg Variations.
Movie: Blade Runner
TV: Nova.
Trouble is, as I get older, I can no longer read without glasses. Even with glasses, I can’t read for hours as I once did.
Borges on his blindness:
Nadie rebaje a lágrima o reproche
esta declaración de la maestría
de Dios, que con magnífica ironía
me dio a la vez los libros y la noche.
De esta ciudad de libros hizo dueños
a unos ojos sin luz, que sólo pueden
leer en las bibliotecas de los sueños
los insensatos párrafos que ceden
las albas a su afán. En vano el día
les prodiga sus libros infinitos,
arduos como los arduos manuscritos
que perecieron en Alejandría.
None should be reduced to tears or recrimination
By this declaration of the mastery
Of God, whose transcendent irony
Gave me at once both books and night.
In this city of books he made masters
of darkened eyes reading only
In the libraries of dreams.
Insensate paragraphs are offered
To each eager dawn. In vain the day
Lavishes its infinity of books upon them,
Arduous as the arduous manuscripts
Which perished in Alexandria.Report
I have a problem with the question…if I can come out of my room one day a week, why not every day of the week? Either the common areas are radiation-proof, or they’re not.
But I’d pick books, too. Can’t imagine life without reading. If they are paper, there are blank end pages and I can make ink out of food and write and draw on them.
Movie – Harold & Maude
Music – The Complete John Williams
TV – Dr. Who, because I’ve never been able to get into it, but so many people love it that there must be something there, and I’ve never seen it, and there are lots of episodes.Report
I love Harold and Maude, but that’s one hell of a depressing choice for a ten-year stint in quasi-solitary.Report
Books, Books, Books……Did I mention Books? TV: Doctor Who, and by entire episodes I am fervently hoping that the lost episodes are found. Music: Jerry Jeff Walker ultimate collection. Movie: Despicable me, I have wonderful memories of seeing it the first time and it’s cute!Report
I’d probably pick TV, to my everlasting shame–books would be appealing, but ultimately six days a week with nothing but the sound of my own voice would drive me nuts. Movies are a less-varied and more limited alternative to TV, so they’re right out, and music alone could never keep me engaged enough to sustain six days a week.
Smuggled movie would be Star Wars episode IV, probably. Music would be The Historical Conquests of Josh Ritter. The hardest choice would be a book. Probably the Sandman series by Neil Gaiman, although I’d also be tempted by the Dark Tower books and Robert Caro’s LBJ biographies. God, this would be agonizing.Report
I don’t know why you’re ashamed about TV – ok, that’s a lie, I know why because I’m ashamed too.
If you pick anything other than books, the single book choice becomes awfully important. For me, it had to be the Bible, but if the Gideons had gotten to the facility before I did and there was a bible in every room, then it’d be a tough pick. I might go for a geometry or Latin textbook. Maybe a collection of Poe. I stalled out halfway through War and Peace; if I had ten years and no other book I bet I could finish it.Report
I made it through Infinite Jest, but I’m sure it would withstand a few retreads. That would have to go on my list as well.Report
Question, does the book building include access to scientific journals?
Regardless, I’d definitely take books. There is a much wider range of subject material, particularly non-fiction. It’s also probably the only option that would allow me to be productive. Given ten years, and unlimited access I could perhaps learn a useful skill set to help rebuild society. Ignoring that, simply sitting down and reading every work by the masters would be worth the choice. I can’t imagine any of the other mediums entertaining me for more than a few months. As it is, I burn out on movies and TV. I’m also certain I’d see my wife, which is a huge plus.
From the rejected mediums I’d take Astral Weeks, Casablanca, and Boston Legal.Report
Casablanca would be my second movie pick.Report
Fun fact: if you watch Casablanca 5 times in a row, Rick turns into an Emo Teenager and the whole thing loses 97.6% of its gravitas.Report
Books, without a single hesitation.
Music I can live without, although I might get a bit sad. I haven’t had a TV in years. Movies are limited by format. You can only tell certain types of stories in 2-3 hours of visual and auditory media.
For the bonus:
TV: The wire. I haven’t watched any of it, but people keep telling me it is right up my alley. I would watch an episode on special occasion to keep it interesting.
Movie: I actually the suggestion someone had of The Princess Bride. It’s not the deepest or most meaningful movie, but it’s the only one I can think of that I’ve watched countless times over the years and have still been entertained by.
Music: Hard choice. I have a box CD collection of all of Beethoven’s Symphonies. Does that count?Report
Music. I am assuming I will have kick-ass speakers.
Beethoven’s 9th (Solti, Chicago)
The Dark Tower, if a book series is allowed; The Stand, otherwise.
Babe.
Battlestar Galactica (Olmos/McDonnell).Report