At Leaguefest someone asked me for my lard pastry crust recipe. I don’t remember who it was. I don’t even remember the person’s gender. I spent half of Leaguefest with a martini in my hand and the other half delirious with influenza. But I remembered that I needed to post the recipe, and here it is.
It’s based on a recipe from the Gourmet magazine cookbook of 1950, though I’ve added some finesses and, uh, commentary. Boegiboe’s grandmother gave me the cookbook in 2000, and it remains possibly the best present I’ve ever received. Like maybe half the recipes in the book, this one begins with the instruction “Take a tub of lard.” That’s also what makes it completely awesome. Without further ado:
Lard Pastry Crust
Open your freezer. Put in the following:
Tub of lard
2 1/2 cups of flour
Sifter (if you don’t have one, a strainer and a spoon are okay)
Salt
Mixing bowl
2-cup measure
Pastry knife (a fork will work almost as well)
You’ll also need some ice water at the time you make the crust. Cold is your friend.
With all the ingredients in the freezer, wait an hour or so. Then sift the flour with 1 tsp of salt into the mixing bowl. Add 6 tablespoons of the lard and blend thoroughly with the pastry knife. The texture you want is like coarse corn meal. Don’t skimp on the time you’ll need; be patient until it really does have the right texture.
Add 6 more tablespoons of lard. Blend with the pastry knife until the particles are the size of peas. Make sure there aren’t chunks of lard or flour lurking anywhere; a complete homogeneity is what you want.
Now add 4 tablespoons of ice water, sprinkling it throughout. Mix it in with the pastry knife. Do not add more water than this unless it is absolutely necessary to just barely make the dough into a coherent ball. The more water you add, the less flaky the crust will be and the more it will resemble a cracker or a Wheat Thin. This is disagreeable and should be avoided at all costs.
Now the dough should be ready to roll out with a rolling pin and a pastry cloth. You may want to put it back in the freezer and wait a while, however, particularly if you’re working in warm conditions. When you’re ready, divide the dough roughly in half. Roll each half thinly and evenly. Use the slightly larger half for the bottom of the pie. Roll thinly and fit this section to the pie pan. Freeze again for around a half an hour. There should be no need to butter or otherwise treat the lower crust. Fill with whatever you’re using — apples, berries, mincemeat, or whatever. Seal the top section of crust to the bottom using water or egg. At this point you can brush the top with egg or salt water. If it’s a sweet pie, Boegiboe likes crystallized sugar on top. Savory pies do well with herbs or even sea salt (though make sure there aren’t leftovers if you use sea salt; sea salt crusts have a way of going nasty a day or two after they’re cooked). Poke holes in the top to allow steam to escape. Bake as directed by the recipe.
This is the very best pie crust recipe I know of, except for one. The best recipe ever used liquid vegetable oil for shortening. It seems like it shouldn’t work, and my attempts to recreate it have always failed. It was uncanny. The most wonderful thing about that recipe was that you could seemingly use any vegetable oil, and each of them gave it a slightly different flavor. As with so many other things in my life, I’m pretty sure I lost it in a disastrous flood we experienced way back in 1999. The flood took out more than half my library, cookbooks included. If anyone could share this recipe, I would be eternally grateful.
Make sure to enjoy your lard with a 96 oz Coke.Report
*Offer not applicable in the Boroughs of Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, The Bronx, and Staten Island.Report
As they say on Sesame Street, lard is a sometimes food.Report
I’d like to hear the Sesame Street lard song.Report
I had a good friend that did a student exchange program back in the 80s to Yugoslavia. His first night there they had big servings of lard for desert in his honor.Report
You know, I bet lard mashed with powdered sugar would be amazing. Maybe a drop or two of Kirschwasser.Report
Someone’s cooking with lard,
Kumbaya …Report
More like a yum-times food. Am I right, guys?Report
It’s like butter… but *BETTER*. They should have called it “batter”.
Wait, that was already something good?
They should have called it “bitter”.
Wait, that was already something else bad?
“Botter”.
They should have called it that.Report
In parts of Alaska natives make Eskimo Ice Cream. It used to be animal fat with berries. Now that use canned fat or Crisco.Report
Jason, I think this might be your oil recipe. Seems deceptively simple but looks like the one in my classic 1954 Betty Crocker Cookbook (with the red white checkerboard cover and the drawings of the perfect 50’s Stepford wives inside). When I’m feeling particularly masochistic, I do the lard recipe you’ve outlined above with Crisco’s butter shortening. When I get back from my trip I’m going to treat myself to my homemade rhubarb pie with fresh rhubarb out of my garden. We’ve had a very wet and cold Spring, in fact we’ve renamed this month Juneuary.Report
I’ll have to try it, you may be right. The 1/4 tsp of baking powder rings a bell, but when I earlier tried to duplicate the recipe, I hadn’t been using any.
Funny how I’d searched the Internet so many times and not found it.Report
The rhubarb in my garden is going crazy this year. I just keep giving it away because I’m terrible in the kitchen. In fact, I made an embarrassingly ugly cake today that wouldn’t even be edible if my sister and mother weren’t around to make sure I didn’t burn down the house.Report
I’d give a pretty penny to have some of that rhubarb. our garden isn’t that sophisticated.
Do deer eat rhubarb?Report
I have no idea if deer usually eat rhubarb or not, but I have deer in my yard all the time and they have never touched my rhubarb.Report
Rhubarb leaves are toxic, I believe to all mammals (not just humans) but I couldn’t find a source to verify for certain.
Some animals might eat the stems and roots, though given their flavor they’re probably low on the desirability list next to all the other stuff in most people’s gardens.Report
okay, so not-stupid/not-desperate deer don’t eat rhubarb.
http://www.countrysidemag.com/issues/90/90-2/Thomas_Tabor.htmlReport
Miss Mary, truck some on down South for me, would ya? I can only find it sporadically here and, when I do, they charge $5 or $6 a pound! When I lived up North you couldn’t give it away because it’s everywhere.
Important factoid about Rhubarb: The plant cannot be killed short of capping where it grows with something like a layer of concrete. Anything else you do will only make it angry. Do not plant it anywhere you might wish for something else to grow in the future.Report
Where were you and Kimmi last week when I brought a ton of it into work last week and gave it all away? Ugh, I should probably just learn to eat it.
Good to know that I will likely never rid myself of this massive plant in my garden. Actually, I have a black thumb and usually every plant I want to grow dies, so I should just be grateful I can’t kill this one.Report
I seem to recall mention of a recipe for brandied cherries…?Report
Our family recipe goes back to at least 1650. It’s quite simple.
1 part good bourbon
2 parts pitted cherries
1 part sugar
Substitute brandy if you’d like, reduce sugar somewhat if so.
Fill a mason jar with cherries. Stir sugar into liquor, pour over cherries, fill jar. Cap and age for at least three months for full effect.Report
Fantastic! Thanks, Blaise.Report
I’ve a similar recipe for plums. The difference is that we take the mason jar and pour in the sugar over the plums and then pour in the brandy.
Cap it by putting saran wrap over the top with a not exactly *TIGHT* rubber band, but one that stays on.
When you can no longer see the sugar (takes a few months), you’ve got yourself some plums.Report
And now I must wait for there to be decent plums on offer at the store. Because those sound awesome.Report
You can also work this stunt with pretty much any variety of fruit. Excellent liqueurs and garnishes can be made with fruit, sugar and a good grade of vodka. I currently have raspberries and wild strawberries on, as well as last year’s cherries.
I would second Jaybird’s approach to the sugar: you must strongly resist the urge to open the jar for at least several months.Report
I have never eaten wild strawberries. I am jealous.Report
I have, they are tiny tiny tiny little things but they contain in their little bodies all the taste of an entire field of domesticated strawberries that was struck by lightning.Report
Little Oregon strawberries are the *best*. Almost anyone can grow them around here and are my favorite summer treat. Sometimes I go visit my mom so I can stroll through her garden and eat strawberries all afternoon.Report
While we are on the subject, there is nothing like a peach preserved in light rum and sugar, or kumquats in vodka. The kumquat makes a liqueur which puts Grand Marnier to shame.Report
In the same vein, I make two types of flavored drinks:
Lemoncello–Vodka, Lemon rind, sugar. It’s excellent chilled. Thinking about putting it with some carbonated water as an adult summer beverage. Google Limoncello. Easy as pie.
Cranberry Cordial: Gin, Fresh cranberries, sugar. You have to use a blender/food processor to chop the cranberrys and let me soak in the gin for several months, then strain via cheesecloth, but the color is wonderfull.
Moderate the sugar for both drinks to your preferences. I’m enjoying the Lemoncello with less than 50% of the called for sugar and am working on lowering it further, due to the calories.
Both make excellent holiday gifts.
Cheers,Report
That is so funny! I make Lemoncello every year for holiday gifts. It is incredibly yummy. I let it soak for 90 days, or try to anyway.
I’m going to have to try the gin. It sounds delicious.Report
Jason, thank you! I had requested this recipe and you’ve been kind enough to submit it, so time to get the lard (and friends) from the fridge to the freezer. A household sans lard is not one I care to dwell in.
And a brandied cherries recipe too?! Life is good. I’m thinking of a power-combo. However, Burt, just infused bourbon with bacon… so any ideas as to what I could make with that? My speciality is bourbon breadpudding cupcakes, but I fear the bacon may be too strong a contender. Hmmm, maybe bacon bourbon french toast? Oh dear, I’ve just drooled all over the keyboard. Gotta clean this mess up. Later!Report
As to the marriage of bacon and bourbon, you can use the bacon whenever a French recipe calls for lardons.
American bacon is fat enough that it works perfectly well as an enrichment for any meat, and the smoky and bourbon flavors do wonders for traditional French recipes. It’s not exactly traditional, but it’s very, very good. Burgundy beef is a standout here.Report
I am just so, so happy I live in the same world as you people.Report
Amen to that! Cheers!Report
Thanks, Jason. I will try this next time I’m making a pie.
I’ve always used a food processor to mix fat into flour – I figure the faster time makes up for any heat from friction on the blades, but I’ve never tried a pastry knife, does it make a big difference?Report
my kitchenaid gets better results than my patience with two knives.Report
I’m not sure whether it would make a difference. The thing you’re definitely after is an even blend. I am unsure whether the texture (fluffy or compacted?) matters very much, or how it might differ between the two methods. I’ve never tried using a food processor for this before.Report
I suppose the food processor might be okay for the first pass, where you’re just going for the fine crumble. The second pass, where you’re trying for the larger pea-sized bits, I’m not sure it will work well.
The aim of the second pass is to create thin, discrete sheets of lard, thus making a flaky crust.
I have a simple wire pastry gadget I’ve used for years, works just fine and doesn’t take long.Report
being jewish, I use shortening. the mixer does well, if you’re careful.
as always, this is HIGHLY humidity dependent. Water ratios change rapidly.Report
Brutally and cruelly, the supermarket and the Whole Foods near me no longer sell lard. When will this madness end? Maybe the next generation. My husband ordered some Chinese broccoli from a restaurant and was eating it. He mentioned it was cooked without fat but it was still good. He asked my son if he wanted a bite. My son said, “If it doesn’t have fat, I’m not eating it.” That’s my boy!
I LOVE 1950s cookbooks. I have a great one of Jewish cooking. The Jewish recipes are totally authentic and awesome and unreconstructed. Bring on the schmaltz! The American recipes are hilarious. The main ingredient in chicken cacciatore after chicken is ketchup.Report
Try asking the butcher directly. Sometimes they keep the lard behind the counter, like a prescription drug.
Sometime soon I’ll have to write a post about ketchup.Report
I have asked the butcher directly. I’ll even take tallow! Nada. And there’s not much in the way of standalone butcher shops here.
We used to live near a hispanic market, but alas don’t anymore.
I have done that with bacon, but I find it often has a smoky flavor I don’t want (such as in a pie crust!). When I can get my hands on fatback, I do it that way, but that’s sometimes hard to come by.Report
Rose, check chowhound.com and select the board/forum for your area. Where to get lard is probably in their archives—Google shows hits for many metro areas. Cheers, and happy fatting.Report
Tom – that did the trick. Thanks so much!Report
Any good Hispanic store will sell lard. The Spanish word is “manteca”.Report
Conserve the liquid fat from when you fry bacon; store it in the fridge.Report
Lard always makes a good flaky crust. 🙂Report