Houston, We Have a Kazzy

J.W. Sims says:

First off, allow me to welcome you to Houston.

You don’t say how long you’re here in our beautiful, sprawling cosmopolis, so I’m just going to give you stuff happening between Dec 6-16 and let you pick from that. I’m also assuming that you’re near the George Brown Convention Center and will likely be going out on foot or taking the MetroRail to wherever you’re going, so unless you’re riding around in one of those Hoveround things and your battery is low, you should be able to get to most everything on this list. I may add in a few things reachable by taxi.

I see you like sports… not too far from where you are staying [at LaBranch and Polk, as a matter of fact] is the Toyota Center, home of the Rockets (NBA) and Aeros (AHL). The Rockets take on the Mavericks Dec 8, the Spurs Dec 10, the Wizards Dec 12 and the Celtics Dec 14. The Aeros take on Peoria Dec 9 [Bring Your Dog to the Game Night], San Antonio Dec 11 [daytime game, starts around 11:00 or so] and Edmonton — err, Oklahoma City Dec 16 [the Teddy Bear Toss game]. HBO’s World Championship Boxing returns to Houston Dec 15, with the World Junior Featherweight Championship on the line as Nonito Donaire takes on challenger Jorge Arce. Those little guys, they keep punching until they’re hamburger, you know…

If you’re interested in the performing arts and don’t mind that they’re all focused singularly on Christmas right now, Houston’s Theatre District is about three to five blocks west of Main St, and includes ballet, symphony, opera, plays and musicals. The Alley Theatre [615 Texas St] is staging Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” and David Sedaris’ “Santaland Diaries” essentially every night between now and Christmas. The Houston Ballet is presenting “The Nutcracker” and Mercury Baroque is presenting “A Baroque Christmas” at the Wortham Theater Center [501 Texas St]. The Inertia Dance Company and Houston Symphony are presenting “Hip Hoppin’ Nutcracker” and the Houston Symphony is presenting “A Very Merry Pops” at Jones Hall [615 Louisiana St]. Theatre Under The Stars is presenting “Peter Pan” beginning Dec 11 [800 Bagby St]. The Houston Grand Opera’s season is preparing to return in January with “Show Boat” and “Don Giovanni”, both of which will be a welcome respite after the candy-coated holiday glitz that the rest of the Theater District is presenting during December.

Every month this fall, the Alamo Drafthouse has come in from the suburbs and has shown a free movie at Market Square Park [420 Travis St – also a good place to get Greek food, at Niko Nikos]. Past screenings include “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy”, “The Talented Mister Ripley” and “The Godfather: Part II”. On Dec 8 they will be screening “Love Actually”, which is apparently some sort of penance for showing “Anchorman” and/or “The Godfather” — at least that’s how it usually works in my household… for every “Dark Night Rises” that I subject my wife to, SHE makes plans to take me to see “Les Misérables”… While we’re on the subject of Market Square Park, there are quite a few adult beverage establishments nearby. I don’t drink alcohol [and bars are generally no fun when sober] so I cannot attest to their merits, but they always seem crowded as I walk by. One other thing my wife just reminded me that they recently added in Market Square Park: you can now rent bicycles!

If you’re into comedy, Brian Regan will be at the Bayou Music Center Dec 8 [520 Texas St] and Katt Williams will be at the Toyota Center Dec 7.

If museums are your thing, or perhaps the zoo, hop on the MetroRail and ride down to the Museum District or Hermann Park. Fun Fact: After he is sued for divorce in the movie “Rushmore”, Herman Blume [Bill Murray] moved into what was then called The Warwick Hotel, now called Hotel ZaZa [5701 Main St]. This hotel serves as the de facto border between the Museum District and Hermann Park and is a really nice hotel. I hope they took care of that bee problem that suddenly arose while Herman Blume was staying there… They have a fantastic restaurant there called Monarch [the Terrace is really nice now that it’s not boiling hot down here], but it’s reservation only: 713-639-4539. Hermann Park is also adjacent to Rice University and the Texas Medical Center, which is the world’s largest medical center — the equivalent of the population of the ENTIRE CITY OF LOS ANGELES are seen as patients at TMC annually. It’s also occasionally featured on TLC’s “The Little Couple”, as Dr. Jennifer Arnold works at Texas Children’s Hospital.

For slightly longer excursions, just outside of downtown… well, there’s the Galleria [5805 Westheimer Rd], because who DOESN’T enjoy going to a humongous mall during the holidays? Cavender’s [2505 South Loop West] will outfit you in cowboy boots and western wear. One of the oddest things I’ve been dragged to since I’ve moved down here — The Port of Houston [7300 Clinton Dr] offers a unique boat tour of one of the busiest ports in the world, but oddly enough you have to book in advance — IT’S JUST THAT POPULAR!! They do offer complimentary soft drinks as part of the tour, and if you actually make it through security at the PoH, the tour IS free… have I sold this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to you yet? Luckily for you, reservations can be made online: http://boattours.poha.com/boattour

I dunno, there’s quite a bit to do here in any given week — I’ve just barely scratched the surface in my jaunts around town, and I’ve been here since 2009. In my defense, this is a metro area larger than the state of New Jersey, and I know people in New Jersey who’ll complain when they have to go the next town over for some purpose. I’d show you around while you’re in town, but I’m in the middle of moving over the next week and won’t have an opportunity. But if you get out and about, ride the MetroRail from one end to the next [it’s worth the cost, just to see the AstroDome in all its faded glory near the end of the line] and talk to the natives — they’re preternaturally friendly down here and most are more than willing to talk to strangers like they’re your best friend — you’ll more than likely have a better time in Houston than some people would lead you to believe.Report