Forensic Files II: Meh

To really know me is to know my love for Forensic Files. I particularly love to watch it when I am alone in a hotel room, where somehow it is always on. While it may seem like hearing the tragic stories of the savagely murdered may not be the best choice for a prelude to a sound sleep for a gal traveling alone, it comforts me like white noise as I drift off. (Also, in almost all of these cases, the perpetrator ends up being a current or former significant other, so…)

The murder part, the loss of life and the human tragedy is not “fun” or comforting. It’s not entertainment, per se. I’ve been moved to tears watching certain episodes. But it is so damn satisfying when a hair from the crime scene is matched to a suspect’s German shepherd dog, or analysis of the angle of the sun and shadows on a lake prove the timestamp on a dude’s self-made fishing video alibi is doctored. One of the best things about Forensic Files is that when the show is over, the bad guy/gal has been caught (with the notable exception of a few later exonerations!)

But these shows are a dime a dozen these days. So why does Forensic Files stand out? What really made it special is not the cutting edge technology or cracker jack detective work, the human interest stories or the morbidly fascinating details. It is the soothing, lulling narration of the late Peter Thomas. I personally can’t read phrases like “gas chromatography”, “succinylcholine” or “luminol” without hearing it in Thomas’s voice, and I’m sure the same is true for other FF devotees.

There are over 400 episodes of the original Forensic Files, from medical mysteries (stachybotrys, anyone?) to contaminated fast food to bombings to serial killers to black widows. Watch enough episodes and you’ll get to know a few faces; Trey Gowdy has been on 4 episodes from his time as a prosecutor, and some big names in the forensics world make multiple appearances. You probably have heard of Cyril Wecht and the now (sort of) disgraced Dr. Henry Lee, but fans of the show have also come to know Skip Palenik, THE foremost expert in trace evidence, and Dr. Lowell Levine, a “forensic odontologist” whose work on bitemark evidence has become largely discredited. But episode after episode, it is Peter Thomas’s calming, grandfatherly tone that makes Forensic Files reruns my comfort show.

Mr. Thomas died in 2016, and the series ended. In 2020, however, Headline News (HLN) revived the series as “Forensic Files II“. It took four years before I was willing to give it a try, knowing it could never live up to the original without Thomas. But I was bored recently, so I found it streaming on HBO and have watched several episodes now.

Not only is the new narrator, Bill Camp, not Peter Thomas, but he’s as far from it as he could be. His voice is harsh and loud. In his own right, he does fine. The show is good as a true crime series and content wise is similar to the original, though it seems nearly every episode now is focused on DNA, particularly genetic genealogy, rather than “orange trilobal carpet fibers”. But it doesn’t achieve the magic of its predecessor. I don’t think you’ll find me watching it alone in bed at the Marriott with my bag of Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos.

Thomas is, in my opinion, the GOAT true crime narrator. Close in the running were Bill Curtis on American Justice and Paul Winfield on City Confidential. They had a certain something that made them stand out, classics in their genre (Camp kinda sounds like a louder, less refined Winfield.) Then there’s Robert Stack on Unsolved Mysteries, though he falls into the category of perfectly terrifying, rather than comforting.

To be honest, if the show didn’t call itself Forensic Files, I probably would think it was fine. But it would fall into the pile of all the other random true crime shows I watch, enjoy, and move on from. It’s only the big three- Forensic Files, American Justice, and City Confidential (and Unsolved Mysteries, when the mood is right and I’m not alone)- that earn my ongoing loyalty to their re-runs.

So, FFII is worth a watch, if you like that sort of thing. Just know before you start: it hits differently.