To hell with topicality — a writing bleg

68 thoughts on “To hell with topicality — a writing bleg”

1. I’m always, always, always happy to see two people have it out about what makes the best breakfast. Food, drink, location, etc. I recognize in advance how impossibly lame this suggestion is, but I think it is a conversation I’d love to have with anyone, and that includes the both of you.Report

2. Euclidean geometry. Or donuts.Report

   1. More seriously, kids, movies, your friendship, or just about anything. Ya’ll write well enough that I don’t really care what it’s about, I’m gonna read it.Report

   2. Mmmmm…Euclidean geometry.Report

3. Cats on the internet. What’s up with that? Are there philosophical reasons people so love cats on the internet? Is our ceaseless posting of cat videos evidence of infection with that bug that makes you love cats, perhaps a medical problem? Do we discriminate against dogs (and dog people)? Have you ever shared a cat video or photo? Posted an original cat video or photo?

   What do you think of the notion of an art installation, a 50-foot wall of screens showing cat videos and photos scraped from the internet and posted in real time?Report

   1. …infection with that bug that makes you love cats…

      You mean a soul?Report

      1. Well, they need SOMETHING to drink besides milk.Report

      2. @glyph I read your response while eating borscht. Almost dyed my shirt bright red.Report

   2. Speaking of cats, this Hello Kitty thing…

      I don’t know what’s real anymore.Report

   3. @zic

      I think it is because a lot of people who are heavily involved in internet culture tend to be introverts and home-bodies. Cats are largely indoor pets that don’t require going out for walks, etc.Report

      1. That’s just what the cats want you to think.Report

      2. It strikes me occasionally that the internet may, in fact, have been created by cats.Report

      3. They want you to think no one knows you’re a dog.Report

   4. Because cats are cool.

      Dogs are as well.

      So are wombats.

      As to writing…FOOODReport

4. I’d like to see you two participate in a Brunch or Brunchier off.

   I can write you up a list of candidates and you can liveblog it.Report

5. Which Marx Brother is the best Marx Brother?Report

   1. Obviously it was Karl.Report

   2. What happened when Friedrich Engels emigrated to the USA and, lacking other options, was forced to travel to the prairie to throw himself on the mercy of his closest living relative, Charles (whose branch of the family had changed their surname to Ingalls)?Report

6. Davy, Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier.Report

7. You can also bleg about watching Dinner with Andre with your children.Report

8. I would love to read more about those aforementioned collections of small people. Write about your kids!Report

9. You have what, seven kids and two husbands between you? Its obvious!

   The Brady Bunch!Report

10. You two seem to have a wealth of stories about things you’ve done or seen together that you’ll sometime summarize or allude to. Maybe flesh one of them out?Report

11. All right, first of all, these comments themselves make an excellent read. Second, the funniest Marx Brother is Zeppo. Duh.Report

    1. Harpo!!!Report

       1. Gummo was so funny that he was known as “the fifth Marx brother”.Report

    2. RichardReport

       1. Funniest brother. Not funniest hair.Report

12. You’ve given bits and pieces about the evolution of your relationship but I’d love to hear the full story.

    Also, please answer the following:
    What is a better debate to have – the usefulness of the infield fly rule and the usefulness of the designated hitter – and does the pro side of one outweigh the con of the other (or vice versa)? Please answer using formal scorecard notation.Report

    1. Using Google translate, I have attempted to suss out the meaning of your second question. As best I can figure, the correct answer is ????? ???? ?? ????? ??? ?? ????..Report

       1. (That joke would have been aces if the Persian had gone through.)Report

13. Ya’ll should write an advice column, in which you field questions from OT readers, and give them conflicting advice.Report

    1. After watching Review, I kind of want to give them crazy life experiences or emotions to review and see what they come up with.Report

    2. I. Love. This. Idea. Sooooooooooooo much.Report

       1. Yeah, me too.

          I love the idea in general, and if it had been floated with the question, “but who shall we have do it?”, the BT duo would have been the obvious answer.Report

       2. And then the rest of us in the peanut gallery pick whose advice is better.Report

14. You are both stuck on an island in the middle of nowhere.

    The good news is that you have access to every audio book in the world.

    The bad news is that they will all be recorded in the voice of Daffy Duck or Yosemite Sam.

    Who do you pick?Report

    1. I can’t have both?Report

    2. Foghorn Leghorn or GTFO.Report

       1. It was the best of times, it was, I say, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.Report

       2. It was, I say, it was the best. It was the worst. Times, that is, boy.Report

       3. Curse you, Jaybird.Report

       4. I think we have to blame Glyph for this one.

          And now I have Hamlet via Foghorn in my head.Report

    3. The wabbit drives him crazy, so he wants to kill it, but killing the wabbit is a sign of insanity. That’s the dilemma of Yossarian Sam.Report

       1. From hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee. Ye damned varmint.Report

       2. Also, “wabbit” is Fudd. So maybe something like:

          I have hewe in my pocket – and thank heaven you can’t see them – lewd, diwty, obscene, and I’m ashamed to say this: Fwench postcawds. They wewe sold to me in fwont of youw own innocent high school by a man with big eaws… a wabbit.Report

       3. I tat I taw a smiwing tat.Report

       4. Catch ewevwn and eweven.Report

    4. As Gregor Sam awoke one morning from the tossingest, turningest, stomache-churningest dreams you lilly livered bespectacled pusillanimous bookworms could imagine, he found himself transformed in his bed into a creepy crawly too-many-legsy slime-oozing varmint.Report

15. ANYTHING.Report

16. From y’all, I like:

    Movies, media, and othe,r glamorous pop culture
    Science, by which I mean medicine
    New York stories
    Rants about people behaving badlyReport

    1. While I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I’m burned out on it, the science writing I do for The Daily Beast kinda taps me out on that subject.

       Rants about people behaving badly, however…Report

17. I’d just like to say that I wouldn’t mind more Stupid Tuesdays. Even on other days.

    Sorta miss that beloved feature, and while I applaud the family expansion plans, I’m jealous they take the time once reserved for Stupid Tuesday Joy.Report

    1. I regret that the real problem with keeping up with Stupid Tuesday questions has been that I am so often working on an assignment from Daily Beast that it consumes what time in my day I can set aside for writing. I’m often so relieved to have gotten whatever I’m working on filed by the deadline that I just can’t hack any more writing for the rest of the day.

       But I’m happy to blame it all on the kids.Report

       1. @russell-saunders

          I have a love-hate relationship with writing on deadline. I did it so much, for so long, that it seemed like the only way I could write. It’s taken me a long time to start writing without deadline; this blog has been really good for me because of that. Also, a chance to try my chops at editorial writing instead of reporting.

          And I have to say that I wonder at calls for topics; because there is too much I want to write about, my issue is always the impulse control required to settle on a topic and actually write about it; I have trouble shedding my gadfly wings.

          I should start a blog and simply call it things people ought to write about. I have considered doing a series of posts on being a citizen journalist; how to research topics and present them with some minimum standard of journalistic integrity. If there is such a thing.

          I would very much like to hear about your experiences at the Beast with editing, something that I wish were more present in the blogging world. Good editors make the world a better place.Report

       2. The pluses and minuses of writing for other sites, where editors have discretion over what they run and how it’s presented, would be a topic about which I have a lot to say.

          However, it would probably be smart for me to keep those thoughts to myself for the time being. If I find myself frustrated enough to walk away from it, I’ll be sure to explain why here.

          But in the meantime, there’s this from quondam OT contributor and former Daily Beast colleague David Sessions:

          http://www.patrolmag.com/2014/08/25/david-sessions/the-state-of-the-internet-is-awful-and-everybody-knows-it/Report

       3. I might, at some point when things are a little less settled, be interested in trying my hand at filling in on Stupid Tuesday Questions, when Russell can’t.Report

       4. @will-truman

          It would probably be better to wait until things are more settled. 😉Report

18. Dudes, for what it’s worth, it absolutely and positively tickles me to death to know that y’all are writing for a “real” venue. I am so very pleased that you have an audience somewhat closer to the size of the audience you deserve.

    Sure, I’m saddened by y’all not being here as often… but I love the fact that you’ve gotten to where you’ve gotten. I hope that where you are is not where you end up because y’all deserve an even bigger audience than that one.Report

    1. That is such a kind and lovely thing to say.

       There is something very nice about having an outlet that gets a few more eyes run my stuff. But I really cherish this place and the community here. I hope to find more time to be present more.Report

       1. I’m pretty sure that we love you more than they do, but they need you more than we do.

          So even if you can’t be here, I totes understand.Report

       2. Heh.

          One of the things that you rapidly come to learn about writing for a bigger site, making you feel needed is not a high priority.Report

       3. I’m pretty sure that we love you more than they do, but they need you more than we do.

          That’s a pretty good way to describe it.Report

       4. @jaybird that is lovely. And I will say one thing I miss terribly is comments I can not only actually read, but learn from.Report

19. I was wondering if you were going to do an Emmy post like you have done with the Oscars and the Tonys, but I guess not?Report

    1. I might do a kind of “late to the party” reaction, since one of the lovely things about writing here is that nobody gives a shit about timeliness.Report

       1. Which is why I mostly write about World Series from the 1940s and music from the 1740s.Report

       2. I thought it was because you were a vampire.

          Or an immortal. Have you recently beheaded a Scottish Highlander?Report

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