Donald Trump Brought His Bible

by · February 24, 2016

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Will Truman

Will Truman is the Editor-in-Chief of Ordinary Times. He is also on Twitter.

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2 Responses

  1. Doctor Jay says:
    February 24, 2016 at 11:52 am

    The beginning of Jesus the Leader was like this: While his mama, Mary, was engaged to Joseph, but before they had relations, she was made pregnant by the Holy Spirit. Since Joseph, her fiancé, was a considerate man and didn’t want to make a public scandal, he decided to quietly break up with her. As he was wondering about the whole situation, a messenger from the Lord came to him in a dream and said, “Joe Davidson, don’t be ashamed to marry Mary, because the Holy Spirit has made her pregnant. Now she’ll give birth to a boy, who you’ll name Jesus,1 because he will deliver his nation from their errors.”

    That’s Matthew 1:18 in the Cotton Patch Bible. I’ve always liked this kind of thing, actually.Report

  2. Mike Schilling says:
    February 25, 2016 at 1:40 am

    “Let me get this straight. Your boss made my girlfriend pregnant.”

    “Yes.”

    “And you expect me to be happy about it.”

    “Well, yes, It’s gong to be a boy, and he’s going to grow up to be the greatest man in history. And you’ll be famous forever as his father.”

    “Famous as a cuckold. Great. You know, I’m not just some schmuck, I’m a direct descendent of King David.”

    “It wouldn’t work any other way.”Report

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