Donald Trump Brought His Bible

Will Truman

Will Truman is the Editor-in-Chief of Ordinary Times. He is also on Twitter.

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2 Responses

  1. Doctor Jay says:

    The beginning of Jesus the Leader was like this: While his mama, Mary, was engaged to Joseph, but before they had relations, she was made pregnant by the Holy Spirit. Since Joseph, her fiancé, was a considerate man and didn’t want to make a public scandal, he decided to quietly break up with her. As he was wondering about the whole situation, a messenger from the Lord came to him in a dream and said, “Joe Davidson, don’t be ashamed to marry Mary, because the Holy Spirit has made her pregnant. Now she’ll give birth to a boy, who you’ll name Jesus,1 because he will deliver his nation from their errors.”

    That’s Matthew 1:18 in the Cotton Patch Bible. I’ve always liked this kind of thing, actually.Report

  2. “Let me get this straight. Your boss made my girlfriend pregnant.”


    “And you expect me to be happy about it.”

    “Well, yes, It’s gong to be a boy, and he’s going to grow up to be the greatest man in history. And you’ll be famous forever as his father.”

    “Famous as a cuckold. Great. You know, I’m not just some schmuck, I’m a direct descendent of King David.”

    “It wouldn’t work any other way.”Report