Fantasy Football Week 7 In Review And NFL Open Thread

Wayning Wildcats get Waxed by the Express!!!!

Coach Dman made a solid move in picking up Tom Brady this week. Brady joined with Matt Forte become the Dynamic Duo for team Thunderlips. Add to that the the WayneSport Mildcats could not muster a single player to score above 14 points and it was a solid win for coach Dman (even though he had six players not make their projections). Tu talked with the coach after the game.

Tu: Well, you squeaked out a win coach.
Dman: Sigh, when did you stop saying ,”Good win, coach”?
Tu: When you stopped getting good wins. Do you feel lucky that you left so many points on the bench, but still came away with the win.
Dman: Yeah, My running backs did not do well. Except for Forte.
Tu: Are you concerned about next week playing Team Pooh Bear? They are on a rolll and you will need your team clicking on all cylinders.
Dman: It will be a tough match up, but my team will be ready!

Peak of the Week

Despite Manning manhandling the 49ers and breaking the career touchdown record, it was not enough to overcome another monstrous performance by the ContumeliousAnalysts. Coach Jaybird’s team was lead by the Holy Cow Trinity of Brown, Bryant, and Vereen (wait… who? Why would anybody pick a running back from the black hole of New England?? Belichick loves to torture fantasy football fans with them!) . The only bad call made by Jaybird was by starting the whiner, Jay Cutler. Still, all this added up to the Peak of the Week. Tu spoke with coach Jaybird after the game.

Tu: Good win and gutsy call in playing Vereen, coach.
Jaybird: Wait, New England running backs are bad?
Tu: You can’t say that you didn’t know that.
Jaybird: But I *DIDN’T* know that!
Tu: Remember Cyberball 2072?
Jaybird: Oh my gosh, I *LOVED* that game!
Tu: Belichick is Sky Rogers.
Jaybird: That’s the first thing you’ve said about real football that makes sense to me.
Tu: That’s why it’s kind of surprising that a Running Back got the numbers he did.
Jaybird: Maybe he’s learning that I’m looking to see when his guys’ hands go up.
Tu: The comparison between Cyberball 2072 and “Real” football ends with the Belichick comparison.
Jaybird: Well, my powerful ground game will crush you!
Tu: I wish I never brought it up.

 Freak of the Week

The Week in Review needs to Level with you readers. We are disappointed that Nostradamus failed to foresee the indifference of the GoingSouth Dragons. This has dropped his perfect record to one team having more wins than projected. Not only that, but with five players rocking the donut, they gave the Levellers the Freak of the Week (and created a traffic jam as an entire precinct of cops stopped to have those donuts).

The Quatrains of Nostradamus

And the first prediction for the Levellers has gone up in smoke with the GoingSouth Dragons soon to follow. Hopefully these will be the only teams the Quatrains will get wrong.

Remember dear reader that the records listed below are the number of wins and losses still needed for Nostradamus to be proven right.

ContumeliousAnalysts: 4-3
Team Pooh Bear: 4-2-1 AKA: The Anointed Ones
Thunderlips Express: 3-2-2
Waynesport Wildcats: 6-1
Partisan Warrior’s: 4-4-(1)
DownSouth Dragons: 6-1 AKA: GoingSouth Dragons
The Levellers: (1)- 8
Brian’s Best Team: 1-6

then driven to madness and death
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