Express Lowers the Boom the Level Levellers!!!!
The Holy Cow Trinity of Stafford, Forte, and J Nelson helped overcome the lackluster performance of Brown, Johnson and Garcon allowing Thunderlips to kiss off the Levellers. Unfortunately this was one of the best performances of the Levellers who had four players score above projections, but it still was not enough. Reporter Tu Nosi was able to get a word with coach Dman after the win.
Tu: Close win coach.
Dman: Close?!? We had the second highest total for the week and the second biggest point spread! How was that close?
Tu: It was neck and neck through most of Sunday and there was a chance to lose if New England had not laid and egg.
Dman: Coulda, woulda, shoulda. It did not happen. Victory is ours!
Tu: So, how worried are you about next week?
Dman: Huh?
Tu: You know, next week when you play the hottest team in the league, the one that has scored the most points, has the best receiver and running back playing. I would not be be so Contumelious for your next opponent if I were you.
Dman: Wow, so much for being happy with a win….
Freak, Streak, Peak of the Week
The ContumeliousAnalyst just keep rolling. This is the third week in a row they have scored over 130 points and the second time to have the Peak of the Week. To make things even scarier, the Holy Cow Trinity of Murray, Brown, and Matt Ryan have morphed into the the Four Horsemen Ryan, Brown, Murray and Charles. Then poor Pooh Bear loses his honey of a QB to the bench causing Brady to mope like eeyore with 6 whopping points for the night. This all added up to a 60 point blowout. Tu talked with coach Jaybird after the game.
Tu: Another crushing win coach. Your team is on a roll.
Jaybird: I owe it all to Jamaal Charles. When I saw that the Chiefs were playing the Patriots, I just knew that I had to go big or go home!
Tu: … really?
Jaybird: Um, no. I looked at my injury list and replaced my Q players with my P players.
Tu: Shouldn’t you be a little more… smack talky?
Jaybird: Well, it’s all a little silly, isn’t it? We pick players at random, they get points at random, and then we compare our point totals with a random opponent’s point totals. It’s like bowling where you don’t find out what you bowled until the football game is over, only you don’t have to actually go bowling.
Tu: Please smack talk for the cameras, sir.
Jaybird: Next week, Dman is going *DOWN*.
Tu: Thanks.
Weak of the Week
Nothing is better medicine than to play a team going South in a hurry like Waynesports did this week. The Dragons are dragging in the rear as they left the win on the bench. Alas the Week in Review thought that the offensive strategy of not playing a full team was left in the ashes of last year’s league, but no, it has reared its lazy head again. Yet the Wildcats went wild with delight to pick up this win even though they scored 31 point below their projection.
The Quatrains of Nostradamus
Nostradamus might have a little sweat on his brow after this week with the DownSouth Dragons phoning it in and Brian’s Best team scoring one of their two projected wins, but he is still holding strong.
Remember dear reader that the records listed below are the number of wins and losses still needed for Nostradamus to be proven right.
ContumeliousAnalysts: 7-3
Team Pooh Bear: 7-2-1 AKA: The Anointed Ones
Thunderlips Express: 5-3-2
Waynesport Wildcats: 6-3-1
Partisan Warrior’s: 5-5
DownSouth Dragons: 6-4
The Levellers: 1- 9
Brian’s Best Team: 1-9
A win is a win. You score more points than the other team, you win. That’s how it works.Report
I feel the same way, but Tu gives me grief if is not a solid win. Who am I kidding, Tu gives me grief then too.Report
DOWN, DO YOU HEAR ME?Report
Oh, yeah! You are going down!!!! Jordy Nelson will have a monster game and….. wait….. ah crap…..Report