Fantasy Football Week In Review And NFL Open Thread (If We Need One)
Thunderlips put the Wildcats in a full Nelson!
Thunderlips Express pulled out a solid win against Waynesport Wildcats on the back of Jordy Nelson’s 34 point outing. Only The Express’s kicker and defense scored above their projections, while the Wildcats’ Marques Colston rocked the donut and it all added up to another W for the Thunderlips Express. Tu caught up with coach Dman.
Tu: Lucky win tonight coach.
Dman: Luck?! We beat them by fifteen points!
Tu: Yet most of your team under performed and it took the heroic efforts of one player to raise you above the other team.
Dman: Tu, you and I both know that many wins come on the backs of just a few players. I also scored the second highest points for the week.
Tu: Just because other teams did not play well, does not mean your did coach.
Dman: True, but this was a defensive week all around the league. Only one team for this whole week scored above their projections! Sheesh!
Meek, Freak, and Peak of the Week!
How many more accolades can go to one team in one week? The Analysts were Contumelious to both their opponent and Nostradamus this week by scoring 21 points above their projection. Then they were helped out by the Warriors having an internal Partisan fight with a 5-4 split in players being above or below their projection. We were sure that coach Jesse was a little Green around the gills as A.J. traipsed off off the field with turf toe. Tu talked with coach Jaybird after the game.
Tu: Very surprising win coach. What did you do differently this week?
Jaybird: I remembered something that my friend Dman told me once. “All you need is for your guys to just show up and have one of your guys go crazy.”
Tu: That’s it?
Jaybird: That’s what I asked him. “That’s it?”
Tu: And he said?
Jaybird: He said “Well, it helps if the other guy’s team only barely shows up and one of his guys crashes and burns.”
Tu: That’s some insight.
Jaybird: Now I just have to figure out how to apply it regularly.
APB for Bear that beat Defenseless Team!
Brian’s Best Team came up short against Team Pooh Bear by 6 points and they did not even have a defense to play!! They could have taken a sorry defense like Dallas or the Browns (against the Saints no less) and would have pulled out a victory. This ones will make Nostradamus roll over in his grave…. To give Brian a high five for keeping his predictions on target.
The Quatrains of Nostradamus
It seems Nostradamus may have known more than we thought. Who could have guessed that a missing defense would help keep his predictions alive?
Remember, dear reader, that the records listed below are the number of wins and losses still needed for Nostradamus to be proven right.
ContumeliousAnalysts: 9-3
Team Pooh Bear: 8-3-1 AKA: The Anointed Ones
Thunderlips Express: 6-4-2
Waynesport Wildcats: 8-3-1
Partisan Warrior’s: 6-6
DownSouth Dragons: 6-6
The Levellers: 1-11
Brian’s Best Team: 2-10
The Waynesport Wildcats also have no plausible explanation for Drew Brees not even targeting Marques Colston. The best working theory is that this was Drew Brees From A Parallel Universe Magically Transported Here and just plain not knowing who the new guy on the team is. Here’s hoping they sent Parallel Universe Brees back home and got the real one back again.Report
The “if I just played this guy instead of that guy” really gnaws a hell of a lot worse than the “if I had put this RB into my flex position instead of my WR, and put my other RB into the RB slot, and swapped out the flex WR for my secondary WR and traded TEs, I would have won.”Report
Yeah, I have no clue what happened to Colston. Who would have guessed that?Report
I scored 135 points first week in the family league. League high score.
I scored 77 points the second week in the family league. Not the low score!
Five of my players are Out or Questionable.Report
Ugh, I hate it when I have a MASH unit team. And this year it feels worse with Rice, Peterson, Martin, Tate, and Jamal Charles out. So many starting RB, just gone for a while (or forever).Report
I took Rice in the fifth or six round.
He’s been dropped in favor of San Francisco’s secondary running back. Now Frank will *not* get injured for the rest of the season.Report
No kidding! Week 3 and they’re already dropping like flies. I have Alshon Jeffrey who’s already sporting a sprained ankle and had difficulty moving against the Niners. He’ll keep playing and eventually it’ll catch up with him and I’ll be hunting for quality WR.Report
Yeah, in one league I benched Brandon Marshall because of his injury (Brian did the same thing in our league) and then he goes and has a monster game. Sigh.Report
Week 3 has just begun and I’ve got 3 questionable and 2 probable.
Ugh.Report
SIX QUESTIONABLE AND AN OUT!!!Report
Thank goodness I did not play the guy with Julio Jones. Sucks that I played the guy with Mat Ryan….
Who switched the Bucs with the JV team from Air Academy????Report