Teaching 90s Kids Language Skills Via Mass Murder Through Advertising

Andrew Donaldson

Born and raised in West Virginia, Andrew has since lived and traveled around the world several times over. Though frequently writing about politics out of a sense of duty and love of country, most of the time he would prefer discussions on history, culture, occasionally nerding on aviation, and his amateur foodie tendencies. He can usually be found misspelling/misusing words on Twitter @four4thefire and his food writing website Yonder and Home. Andrew is the host of Heard Tell podcast. Subscribe to Andrew's Heard Tell SubStack for free here:

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12 Responses

  1. Kolohe says:

    This must be before my time, I don’t remember this at all.

    The only two foreign language ads that stick in my mind are

    1) the Skymall Catalogue one where it sorta promised that you the US farm boy could gain the ability to speak to foreign supermodels. And

    2) S O C K S.Report

  2. there is very little appreciation for how much easier it is to get children’s educational products now than it was then.

    I remember seeing that commercial and wanting it for my older boys so bad! Now it’s practically garbage!Report

  3. Jaybird says:

    Holy cow. I saw this commercial a million times but had no idea that it was a scam.Report

  4. LeeEsq says:

    I remember commercial for Muzzy.Report

  5. veronica d says:

    I guess this was after my time, but good grief that plot!

    Important language skills:

    1. Order from restaurant

    2. Get directions

    3. Buy something from a store

    4. Express incel rage

    5. Genocide

    Everything needed for a healthy growing mind!Report

  6. John says:

    Andrew, It sounded like you said Muzzy was munching from a bag of (‘clocks’ without the ‘L’). I thought what the heck kind of kids video is this? Good thing you reiterated it more clearly the next time.Report

  7. Kolohe says:

    I was reminded of this week watching the first season of Star Trek Deep Space Nine, which, while far better than the opening season on TNG, still had some plot devices that would be an entire series arc and/or show premise in modern day.

    Basically, this one off character is able to create a living sentient fully formed clone in his own bedroom, just for the purpose of framing someone for his murder


    • Jaybird in reply to Kolohe says:

      I recently watched the pilot and found myself struck by how many bikini scenes there were in it.

      It’s a show about Deep Space Nine! WHY ARE THERE CHICKS IN BIKINIS

      Ah, well.Report