Nick Kristof and The Moosylvania of Politics

Photo by New York Times journalist Nick Kristof moderates a panel at the MDG Countdown event at the Ford Foundation, 24 September, 2013. Picture: Marisol Grandon/Department for International Development

Sometimes, you just have to laugh:

Democratic gubernatorial hopeful Nick Kristof does not meet Oregon’s residency requirement to qualify to run for governor, Secretary of State Shemia Fagan announced Thursday morning.

Kristof grew up in rural Oregon, has owned property in the state for decades and returned to Oregon nearly every summer while working as a New York Times columnist in New York and abroad. He attested that he’s been a resident of Oregon long enough to run for its highest office.

In ruling he has not, elections officials in Fagan’s office focused on Kristof’s record of voting in New York state as recently as the 2020 general election. But they said their case was bolstered by his decision to maintain his New York drivers license through December 2020 and to continue paying New York income taxes well past the November 2019 deadline for a 2022 gubernatorial candidate to establish residency in Oregon.

Kristof, in an announcement that, to judge by appearances, was shot in the lobby of a defunct YMCA in the 1970s, has vowed to fight this, although he has apparently not shared the documents that supposedly prove that he’s totally an Oregonian, absolutely, guarantee, go … uh, Badgers? No, Ducks. Totally go Ducks.

This, however, crossed the line into high comedy.

“As you all know, I come from outside the political establishment and I don’t owe insiders anything,” Kristof said. “They view my campaign as a threat.”

This is a bit rich coming from a Harvard graduate who has been front and center of feeding the trafficking hysteria that has resulted in a new War on Sex. Who has climbed into bed with anti-sex groups like NCOSE (formally Morality in Media) and Exodus Cry to push a new moral panic over porn that the political establishment has been delighted to embrace. His work has been praised by no less than Bill Clinton and he spent years propping up serial liar Somaly Mam. And this “outsider” now thinks that his NYT and Harvard pedigree will let him bypass the normal rule for candidacy.

In general, I take an extremely dim view of carpetbagging politicians, including the Oprah-linked doctor trying to pretend he’s from my state. Governor’s mansions, senate seats and even Congressional seat shouldn’t be a thing where ambitious pols shop around the country until they find an open seat they think they can bamboozle the “rubes” into handing over. It should be something one seeks because they are invested in that region, know the people there, know their priorities, their values and their interests. As much a I might dislike, say, Andrew Cuomo, at least he knew the people he was governing. I am more than happy for any state to put the kibosh on this nonsense. And if there’s any doubt, I think it should lean against the carpetbaggers.

There’s still a bit of a court fight left on this, so Kristof might get to run for office after all. But for now, the situation with Kristof’s residency reminds me a bit of the fictional island of “Mooslyvania” on the old Rocky and Bullwinkle Show. Moosylvania was so desolate that the United States constantly insisted it was part of Canada while Canada insisted it was part of the United States. Maybe New York and Oregon can flip a coin. And whoever loses has to claim him.