Picks!

Somehow my Picks! column from last week got swallowed up by my computer/the internet/Donald Trump.  Let me assure you, though, my picks were exquisite.  I actually went undefeated, correctly predicted the score of each and every game.  Sadly, all proof of this effort has vanished so you’ll just have to take my word for it.  Given my track record this year, I struggle to see how you could believe anything else to be true.  Anyway, here are the Week 6 picks, which hopefully make it up onto the site…

(All lines current as of Sunday AM)

Patriots (-7.5) vs Bengals

Screw the Patriots.  There, I said it.  Not just because they’re good but because I seem incapable of picking their games correctly.  Except last week, of course.  When I was perfect.  Let’s continue that trend by taking them to cover again.  If you got this number at -6.5 where it opened, you should feel even more confident.

Ravens (+3.5) @ Giants

The Giants are reeling.  The Ravens aren’t much better but I’ll take the hook.

Panthers (-3) @ Saints

The Panthers get their offense back with Newton, Benjamin, and Stuart all slated to play.  I think the Panthers start to look more like the team they were last year and win comfortably in New Orleans.

Steelers (-7) @ Dolphins

I don’t like laying this many points on the roads but the Dolphins are really putrid.  Why is Ryan Tannehill still a thing?

Jaguars (+1.5) @ Bears

This is the ugly game of the week that I want to change my pick on three dozen times before just hoping I don’t end up having to watch it.  So I guess take the points?

49ers (+8) @ Bills

I think Kaep adds enough spark to the Niner offense to keep the game close.  I’m interested to see what Chip Kelly does with him.

Rams (+3) @ Lions

Another screwy game… does anyone feel like they know anything about either of these teams?  The Rams are a surprising 3-1 but no one seems to know how.  The Lions disappointed to start but had a big win against the previously undefeated Eagles.  But after starting hot they pulled it out with a bit of flukey luck… so… who knows?  When it doubt, cover your eyes and take the points.

Browns (+7.5) @ Titans

The Browns are bad but I just don’t think the Titans are good enough to be more than a touchdown favorite against, well, anyone.  Too inconsistent.

Washington (+3) vs Eagles

The Eagles are the better team but they lost their starting RT to a suspension and the O-line play was a huge part of their early success.  Take the home ‘dawg.

Chiefs (-1.5) @ Raiders

I don’t like taking these short road dawgs.  But despite a gaudy record, the Raiders’ point differential shows them to have been incredibly lucky.

Seahawks (-6.5) vs Falcons

The Falcons showed they were for real with a big win in Denver last week.  Or did they?  Denver looked like crap this week.  Can Atlanta do it twice in a row?  I don’t think so.

Packers (-4.5) vs Cowboys

I think the Packers run defense is good enough to slow Zeke.  I thinK Dak struggles in a hostile road environment.  I think A-a-ron steps up with a big game.

Colts (+3) @ Texans

This is almost a playoff game.  The world’s worst playoff game.  This very well may decide which 8-8 AFC South teams gets trounced in the opening round of the playoffs.  Yay football!

Jets (+7.5) @ Cardinals

If you got this line at -6.5, I’d take the Cards.  But jumping over the 7 leads me to take the ‘dawgs.