The Month in Theaters December 2023

Photo by Photo by Harrison Keely, CC BY 4.0 <https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0>, via Wikimedia Commons

In the final month of 2023, I saw twelve movies in theaters with an additional seventeen movies otherwise, for a total of twenty-nine reviews. 127 movies in theaters in totality for the year. Let’s jump right in, shall we?

Godzilla Minus One

As anyone who saw my last article, it shouldn’t be much of a surprise that this is movie of the month. This is certainly the best Godzilla movie I’ve ever seen. A+. One of the best foreign language films I have ever seen. The best since Parasite. The filmmakers did such a good job to center the human drama so well. Unlike Shin Godzilla, which I am not a fan of, the human characters are incredibly well-written. Godzilla is also the villain of the movie, unlike most of the Hollywood films.

The Shift

This is the same studio that did Sound of Freedom. I saw the trailer for this in front of that movie. Of the two or three trailers from that studio that made an appearance, this was the one I was most excited for. The movie, in the end, did not live up to that. The film makes it very clear this is a modern telling of the Biblical story of Job with some multiverse stuff thrown in. C. The highlight, as I expected, was Neal McDonough. He plays the villain that is eventually revealed to be Satan. The movie is pretty heavy-handed at times, deciding it was necessary to spell out that it was based on Job with a blatant discussion of that story in the middle of the movie.

Dream Scenario

I honestly thought this movie was gonna be better. Nicolas Cage is great in it, but the plot gets away from itself. In essence, a professor at a minor college starts randomly appearing in people’s dreams, hundreds of mostly strangers. When the plot does devolve, it just feels very unfair to Nicolas Cage’s character. Through virtually zero fault of his own, his life is ruined. It starts off so well, but loses steam very quickly. C to C+.

Waitress: The Musical

Filmed in 2021, this Fathom Events movie was fine. I had never seen any version of this story. B. Sara Bareilles does a good job as the main character. There’s a messed-up affair at the center of the story, dragging the rest of it down. I don’t think the story needs it. There is a sweet love story between a couple of minor characters that I enjoyed. I did like the songs for the most part.

The Boys in the Boat

The only $5 Regal Monday Mystery Movie this month. George Clooney directs a based on a true story film about sports underdogs. I had never heard of this story before, but it is such a good one. B+. Essentially, the JV team of an underfunded college rowing team gets all the way to the Olympics. The same one Jesse Owens went to, the one in Nazi Germany. Hits the right notes for the type of story the movie is telling.

The Boy and the Heron

Miyazaki is out with another animated film. I have not seen enough of his filmography as I probably should have by now. B+. It goes many places I didn’t expect, weird in the right way. If I didn’t know he was the heron, I never would have guessed Robert Pattinson was doing the voice. Wonderful visuals throughout the film.

Wonka

Better than I expected it to be. B. I expected it to be terrible, but it ended up being the right side of lighthearted. Very silly. The songs are even mostly fun. An origin story for Willy Wonka isn’t really needed, but the film didn’t anger me. It did exactly what it had to do. Hugh Grant was a delight as an Oompa Loompa.

The Iron Claw

This was one of the better dramas of the year. Zac Efron absolutely brings it, easily the best acting of his entire career. The lead from The Bear is also excellent. A+. The wrestling family at the heart of the story had almost no end in tragedy. Very sad. The story is handled with the proper care and respect.

Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom

Worse than the first one. It is boring for the most part. They waste Black Manta, who already had a personal reason to hate Aquaman. He didn’t need to get brainwashed by a trident to hate Aquaman more. As the final movie in the DCEU, anything that happens in this movie will go absolutely nowhere, which makes it mostly pointless. C- to C. I didn’t expect much from this movie, so I can’t say I’m really disappointed. But this is the best they could come up with? Really?

Migration

A perfectly serviceable children’s animated movie but not much else. B. That’s par for the course for Illumination. A family of ducks on their journey for a winter migration. It goes pretty much exactly where you expect to given the trailer. That’s not always a bad thing for an animated movie. It didn’t piss me off, nor did it overstay its welcome.

Ferrari

This movie ended up being a little too boring. Not as much meat on the bones of this story. C. I’m sure there’s an interesting angle in here somewhere, but the movie didn’t really find it. I was just mostly bored throughout. Adam Driver does fine in the lead role, but the script needed a rework to make it more exciting for a vast majority of the film.

The Color Purple

I saw the original a long time ago, but remember very little about it. This movie is fine, if a little long. The acting from all involved is good, but the songs seem a little slapdash sometimes. It’s as if the movie forgets it’s a musical at various points. There are long stretches without a song number. B-. I didn’t expect to love this movie, and I didn’t.

EVERYTHING ELSE

I watched all of the 1994 Spider-Man animated series. Mostly really good, although the ending of the series was a little too much of a cliffhanger. I watched some Monk with family, although that will matter more later. Reacher returned and is as good as ever. What If…? also returned and was enjoyable. The season finale is probably the weakest episode, as it was last time.

Candy Cane Lane was boring. It will never be a Christmas classic. Virtually everyone in the cast is phoning it in. Like Good Burger 2, Jillian Bell plays the villain. F.

A movie I had wanted to see for a long time and was disappointing. National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1 should have been better than it was. Most of the jokes don’t land. Most of the spoofs are lazy. F.

I greatly enjoyed The Adventures of Tintin. A- to A. It was free on YouTube last I saw. Better than I expected it to be.

The Fighter was a solid drama. B+. The based on a true story tale of a boxer and his at times messed up family.

They finally made a Monk movie! Mr. Monk’s Last Case: A Monk Movie gives super fans of the series pretty much exactly what we wanted. A+. Although the title indicates it is the last one, they foreshadow a raft of cold case murders Monk could solve if they wanted to do a sequel series.

I finally saw an old school Marlowe. Murder, My Sweet is actually the first one they ever made. It was really good. A.

I watched the Disney animated classic Cinderella. I have not seen it for many years. Still good. A.

Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget is a sequel they probably should have made a long time ago. Either way, a good time. A-.

I had never seen an Ernest movie until now. This probably isn’t the best one. Slam Dunk Ernest is not a great movie. F.

Maestro was pretty boring at times. Overly long. And I did not feel the love story. C.

I wanted this to be better. Rebel Moon – Part One: A Child of Fire is a bunch of familiar movies stitched together. It’s got a lot of Star Wars in it as well as a huge heaping spoonful of Seven Samurai. A little bit of Avatar for some reason as well. C+. I don’t understand who the child of fire is supposed to be. They really do not make that clear at any point. A lot of gratuitous slow motion, but that’s Zack Snyder for you.

A heartfelt documentary that was very informative. Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie gives me the background behind his Parkinson’s diagnosis I was not aware of. A.

Saltburn is a good movie that is at times gross for no real reason, one scene in particular. The ending is a little too cute by half, but otherwise a good time. B to B+.

I didn’t think I would enjoy this movie as much as I did. Merry Little Batman was a fun time. B+.

1990: The Bronx Warriors is the definition of a B-movie. Ridiculous in a good way but not stellar. B.

The sequel to the previous movie, Escape from the Bronx is the same type of movie. And about the same quality. B.

Leave the World Behind is a tense thriller that doesn’t provide definitive answers, only speculation. The acting is good. And it kept my attention. But the lack of definitive answers didn’t make me happy. B.

And that’s everything. I doubt I break the 2023 record, but here’s hoping I give it the ol’ college try.