Information, But Dumber, Louder, and Wetter
Imagine, if you will, if we had modern media in the age of ancient Greek mythology.
Daedalus, industrial Athenian MacGyver that he was, has fashioned two pairs of wings to escape Crete. He tests out one pair and gives the other to his son, Icarus, with a warning to hold the middle path between the sun and the sea, not getting to close to either. Icarus, of course, gets all up in his giddy feels at being able to fly, flashes his dad deuces, and posts “YOLO” on his Instagram story before melting the wax from flying too close to the sun. Thus wingless, Icarus falls from the sky and into the sea, perishing in the process and with the indignity of not having recorded it so it would go viral. Daedalus mourns his beloved but fatally stupid son, but is annoyed when the media shows up. Having missed the money shot, the intrepid Rapid Response Team from CNN (Cretan News Network) decides to add a little background and sizzle to the standup by having one reporter report with a dramatic shot of the coastline of Crete, while another flies just high enough to partially melt the wings, and yet another flies just low enough to get wet and inhibit the lift of theirs. By the time they throw it back to Heracles in the studio, you have a burned reporter, a hypothermic and wet reporter, a happy producer, and a grieving Daedalus whose Belichickian grump and cursing was not a usable cut. But he did name the nearby Icarian Sea near Icaria for Icarus, so there is that. No word on what the chyron read at the bottom of the screen but rumor has it the fact checkers found it all to be mostly true.
It sounds ridiculous until you realize this is what we are doing for every single hurricane that makes landfall.
“This is Main Street and obviously it looks more like a river.”@ABC News Senior Meteorologist @RobMarciano shows massive flooding seen in downtown Pensacola, Florida, as the eye wall of #HurricaneSally continues to batter the coast. https://t.co/3j4fZNPVA0 pic.twitter.com/S0LOdAyU6o
— ABC News (@ABC) September 16, 2020
Not to pick on Rob Marciano here, since apparently it is some sort of time-honored ritual to make your meteorologist sacrifice themselves to the optics gods in order to consider them legit, and they all do it, but enough is enough.
It’s windy. We get it.
It’s raining. We get it.
It’s flooding. We get it.
You don’t have the good sense God gave a pigeon if it means a wicked awesome live shot. We get it.
None of that is enhanced much by making some poor weatherperson subject themselves to it for a live shot. In fact, technology has far outstripped this silliness. Graphics that can put a storm surge from a hurricane into a neighborhood or living room in a CGI overlay is far more informative. The amazing technology of cameras these days means there is only one reason for anyone to ever be out in the shot anyway: for the attention of it. Which is why you get some folks who gussy up their live shots by making water look deeper than it is, or yelling loudly even when not needed, or other effects that can be ruined by folks walking past you while you are live from a canoe.
We get it: Hurricanes are big doings in the weather world, and are often the highest profile stage on which to shine. Hurricanes are guaranteed, sustained ratings for networks, and views for content providers. So of course the human instinct is going to be to get all giddy at your flying and push the visual envelope even higher. Closer to the goal of fame and fortune, closer to that next prized position up the meteorological ladder, closer to not having to do remote shots from the Webster Springs Volunteer Fire Department’s Annual Pancake Breakfast and a permanent seat in that hi-tech, HVAC equipped studio.
But you, intrepid meteorologist, can be Icarus from in front of the green screen. Stop insulting the audience’s intelligence, stroking your own ego, and aggrandizing reckless behavior in the weather world’s version of “if it bleeds, it leads.” You could be the trendsetter, the one that turns the tide to a new era of reason and logic in covering weather phenomenon free from the mythologies of the past.
Be the light bringer, live shot weather folks. Don’t just keep the tradition of being Wet Icarus. They aren’t going to name anything after you that way, anyway.
If we airdropped them into the analogous place in any of the big fires, we would only have to listen to them report once. Maybe not at all, as the descent would likely be fatal.Report
Just make sure you get a good recording of them yelling,
“THIS
IS
ALL
BECAUSE
OF
CLIMATE
CHANGE!”
splat! WHOOSH!Report
My own pet peeve is the live stand-up outside a courthouse, where an newsworthy trial is taking place, on the 11:00 p.m. news. The actual trial broke at about 5:00 and the participants are long gone. Maybe the judge and the judge’s clerks are working late on instructions or trial motions, but if so they are in chambers and won’t be walking out soon for comment.
Why not tape the stand-up when things are going on? You can have shots of the lawyers and the parties, maybe get a comment. What is the point of sending a reporter and camera crew out late at night when nothing is going on and there are no arresting visuals?Report
My favorite was when tv editors decide to make everything LIVE.
Like, I saw once they had a report about one of the local beach cities was wrestling with the issue of sand erosion, and the City Council was having a commission draft a report on the issue.
So of course at the 11 PM news, a reporter was standing LIVE ON THE BEACH reporting in breathless tones about this breaking story.Report
Daedalus would have been in a lot of trouble with ΩΣΗΑ.Report
I don’t know how much a tv weather guy makes in pay a year, but I’m sure it’s more than what I do. I’ll stand in the middle of a hurricane for several hundred k a year. Blizzard too.Report
If there is anything out there that is stupid, pointless, and absolutely going nowhere, it’s newscasters reporting outdoors during hurricanes.
Except maybe people closing behind them.Report
Old father, old artificer, stand me now and ever in good stead.Report
I think the value comes out in the “we’re on your side” ads. The news guy interviewing a politician, the sports guy laughing with a local legend, and the weather guy’s face through last year’s storm. Don’t forget, everyone, we’re your local channel. Next sweeps month: our consumer reporter helps out people in neighborhoods you’ve heard of!
(Copywright 2020 Nextstar Broadcasting Group)Report
LIVE ACTION SHOTS of inanimate objects has been a staple of local news for decades now, and it’s still silly.Report