The last few weeks have been filled with an astonishing and bewildering legal back and forth between various courts and the Trump Administration over his efforts to render supposed gang members to Nayib Bukele’s labor camp. The Administration has tried moving rendition targets to various districts to avoid court orders. They’ve claimed that SCOTUS decisions against them are actually in favor. They’ve deported through the Department of Defense instead of ICE since the orders didn’t apply to DoD.
So to clarify what’s going on, I have adapted to his purpose one of the most insightful pieces ever written about how to wade through a truly confusing situation: Dr. Seuss’s Green Eggs and Ham. In this rendering, the dialogue is between Attorney General Pam Bondi and the Court majority, with a late appearance by Samuel Alito and Stephen Miller. I hope this clear things up.
I am Pam. Pam I Am.
That Pam-I-Am. That Pam-I-Am. We do not like that Pam-I_Am.
Do you like rendition sham?
We do not like it, Pam-I-Am
We do not like rendition sham.
Should I send them here or there?
You should not send them here or there
You should not send them anywhere.
We do not like rendition sham.
We do not like it, Pam-I-Am.
Could I to Bukele’s house?
Could I to give them to that louse?
You can not to Bukele’s house
You can not give funds to that louse
You can not send them here or there
You can not send them anywhere
We do not like rendition sham
We do not like it Pam-I-Am.
Would we send them in a box?
Would we send them live on FOX?
Not in a box.
Not live on fox.
Not to his house.
Nothing to that louse.
You can not send them here or there
You can not send them anywhere
You will not do rendition sham
We do not like it, Pam-I-Am.
Would I, could I, in a car?
Deport them! Deport them! Here they are!
You will not, can not, in a car.
You may like it, you will see.
I may deport through DOD!
You would not, could not with DOD!
Not in a car. You let them be!
You can’t deport them in a box
You can’t deport them live on FOX
You can’t deport to Bukeke’s house
You can’t give money to that louse
You can not send them here or there
You can not send them anywhere
We do no like rendition sham!
We do not like it, Pam-I-Am.
A plane! A plane!
A plane! A plane!
Could I, would I on a plane?
Not on plane! Not overseas!
Not in a car. Pam! Let them be!
You will not, can not in a box
You will not, can not live on FOX.
You will not to Bukele’s house
You’ll give no money to that louse.
You will not send them here or there.
You will not send them anywhere.
We do not like rendition sham
We do not like it, Pam-I-Am!
Say! In the dark? Here in the dark!
Will I, can I in the dark?
You will not, can not, in the dark.
Will I, can I, in the rain?
You will not, can not in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a plane.
Not in a car. Not through DOD.
This is illegal, Pam, you see.
Not in his house. Not in a box.
Not to that louse. Not live on FOX.
You can not send them here or there.
You can not send them anywhere!
You do not like rendition sham?
We do not like it, Pam-I-Am.
Could I, would I on a goat?
You will not, can not, on a goat.
Would I, could I on a boat?
You can not, will not on a boat.
You can not, will not on a goat.
You can not send them in the rain.
You can not send them on a plane.
Not in the dark! Not DOD!
Not in a car! You let them be!
You can not send them in a box.
You can not send them live on FOX
You can not to Bukele’s house
You can’t give money to that louse
You can not send them here or there.
You can not send them anywhere.
I do not like rendition sham!
I do not like it, Pam-I-Am!
You not like this, seven of you say.
Try the shadow docket and you may.
Try shadow and you may, I say.
Pam, if you will let me.
To the shadow docket, you will see.
Say! I like deportation sham!
I do! I like it, Pam-I-am!
You can send them on a boat
You can send them on a goat.
You can send them in the rain
And in the dark and on a train
And in a car. And through DoD.
They are so brown, so brown, you see!
So you can send them in a box.
And you can send live on FOX.
And they can see Bukele’s house
You’ll send millions to that louse
You can send them here or there!
Say, you can send them anywhere!
I do like rendition sham!
Thank, thank you, Sam and Pam.
