A Society of Shame Attached to Everything

Apparently, it’s a dry January for those who celebrate. And from what I’m seeing in the news this week, the media wants us ALL to celebrate. Every paper, TV station and website in America seems to have a guide on how to have a “dry January” (meaning no alcohol consumption) while still having fun. The surgeon general wants to go further than that, saying that no level of alcohol consumption is safe and recommending cancer warnings on bottles of alcohol like the ones we already have on cigarettes.

I don’t know why I find this so annoying. I’ve never been much of a drinker. My parents were teetotalers. We had “dry January” all 12 months of the year in my house! As an adult, I enjoy an occasional cocktail. I especially like a nice glass of Sauvignon Blanc. If I’m at a bar or restaurant, I’ll order a fun seasonal drink or one of those girly martinis with about 6 different ingredients. But I have bottles of flavored vodka that I brought with me from my old house when I moved in 2018. I bought a 12 pack of Sam Adams Oktoberfest that lasted me until the NEXT October. I’m also at the age where just that one beer or glass of wine means I’ll be asleep at 8PM, so I’ve cut back on my already low consumption. I did go on vacation last month and indulged a little more than usual. I actually plan on much heavier drinking after January 20^th for the next 4 years, give or take. But that’s a different rant for a different day.

The more I thought about these stories, the more they bothered me. It actually made me want to do a few shots just out of spite. Why am I so irked by a push to get me to cut back on something I don’t do much anyway? Maybe I’m just tired of all these experts telling me what to do. The health recommendations never stop. I don’t eat enough vegetables. I don’t get enough exercise or sleep. I need to lose weight. I DID manage to quit smoking 30 years ago, but that’s when I started to gain weight! My pharmacy wants me to get a flu shot (which I already did.) CNN wants me to drink more water! I’m already up 3 times a night, what more do they want from me! I forget to apply sunscreen, and yet I don’t get enough vitamin D. I’m overdue for a mammogram. It JUST NEVER ENDS.

And it’s not just health advice! I don’t have enough savings. I spend too much money. I spend too much time on Facebook. I don’t change the oil in my car every 3,000 miles like the manufacturer recommends. I drive too fast and break too hard. I don’t wash glass items for recycling. I don’t always put my cart back in the corral at the grocery store. I bought my cat from a breeder instead of adopting one from a shelter.

Then there’s religion. Could one reason that church membership has been in decline in recent years be that we already have enough things to feel bad about? I confess that I have lusted after Jason Momoa in my heart. I covet my neighbor’s Lexus. Mostly, I struggle with that whole “love your neighbor” thing.

But you don’t have to believe in a religion to feel like a sinner. There’s shame attached to everything. If you use the wrong pronouns for someone, you will be shamed. Every time I hear the term “birthing person,” my eyes roll back in my head. If you question providing puberty blocking hormones to minors questioning their gender identity, or the fairness of allowing biological males to compete in women’s sports, then you are just WRONG. One of my oldest friends called me a bigot when I told her I was uncomfortable sharing the women’s locker room with people who have male genitalia. The word “racist” has been tossed around so much it’s practically lost all meaning.

I know it sounds like I’m being glib. I acknowledge that these are all serious issues. But – it’s just TOO MUCH! Everywhere I turn there is someone trying to make me feel bad for some reason and I can only heap so much self-loathing on myself before I just decide “screw it.”

Maybe, as we say so often, “this is how you got Trump.” Voting for him was an act of rebellion by a lot of people who are just fed up with being told how awful they are all the time. It may not improve their lives, but it seems to upset all those scolds who have been preaching to us for so long.

The problem with nagging people all the time in an effort to better them is that eventually they tune you out completely. As a teen, my mother sounded like one of the adults in a Charlie Brown cartoon. It was just “wah wah wah” all the time. Nigel Tufnel knew that the beauty of having an amp that goes to 11 was the ability to kick it up an extra notch when you wanted that extra punch. But if you leave it on 11 all the time, everyone just goes deaf.

I think that’s where we are in our society now. The amp is blown, our ears are ringing, and we just want to be left alone to our debauchery. At this point, any effort to improve us will just backfire. I predict that a year from now, studies will show an increase in alcohol consumption, which will spawn another round of hand-wringing from the experts. But by then they will have found at least a dozen more things that are bad for us and at least 20 ways we’re destroying the planet.

It’s enough to drive you to drink.