The Month in Theaters June 2023

I managed to get to the theaters eleven times in June, with an additional seventeen movies elsewhere, for a total of twenty-eight reviews. A lot more than last month. Let’s dive in, shall we?

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

Movie of the month goes to this wonderful film. A+. Currently fighting it out with John Wick: Chapter 4 for movie of the year. Incidentally, John Wick: Chapter 4 was the repeat I saw in May, which I neglected to mention in my article. Back on track, this movie just hit all the right buttons. I don’t want to spoil anything, as I enjoyed this movie too much to do that to you, dear reader. Miles Morales is torn between two worlds: Making his parents proud of him in school and keeping his double life as Spider-Man secret yet still being effective at it. I also enjoyed the villain, who is weird. Oscar Isaac is also great as Spider-Man 2099. Of all the movies this month, this is the one to see, folks.

The Boogeyman

A pretty boilerplate horror movie. It does build tension well for the first two-thirds of the movie, but the final confrontation with the titular being is not very good. C-. When the movie monster is mostly a being of shadow, the inevitable scene where you see what it actually looks like is probably gonna be disappointing.

Transformers: Rise of the Beasts

A movie that is not as good as Bumblebee but not as bad as most of the Michael Bay films. B. Peter Dinklage puts in good work as the villain. Pete Davidson is the most interesting of the new Transformers and actually gives us a reason for there to be humans involved at all. The reveal at the end of the movie is rather odd, but I can understand why Hasbro would do that.

The Flash

This should have been better. Putting all of Ezra Miller’s awfulness aside, this is not the adaptation of Flashpoint I wanted. Hell, The Flash show on The CW did it better. The villain responsible for Barry Allen’s troubles in the comics isn’t even in the movie. It is nice to see Michael Shannon back as General Zod and Michael Keaton back as Batman. I just wish both of them had more to do. We do get a couple of cool action scenes, but the movie just feels average. C+ to B-. And there’s a lot of dodgy CGI the filmmakers tried to argue was intentional. Come on, man.

The Blackening

A horror comedy that isn’t as funny as it should be. The best joke is in the trailer and also fundamentally doesn’t make sense based on details revealed later in the film. C to C+. The reveal of the killer is, ultimately, pretty obvious. Nice to see Diedrich Bader in this for all of the five minutes of screentime he got. I think the core problem with the film is how few murders there are in it. Part of the fun of a horror movie is interesting kills. And there just isn’t enough of that.

Elemental

Pixar made a movie I enjoyed more than the trailer would have suggested. In fact, the first trailer shows a scene on a subway train that isn’t in the movie at all. B to B+. It brings the heart that has been missing from the last couple of Pixar films. Not as good as Luca, though. Unfortunately, the movie is probably gonna bomb.

No Hard Feelings

An R-rated raunch comedy starring Jennifer Lawrence is not something I expected. I don’t think she’s ever done something like this before. But it isn’t a very good movie either. C. The plot itself is kind of messed up. Helicopter parents hiring a woman to get their (nineteen-year-old) son laid without his knowledge is definitely a little creepy. The son is probably the standout actor in this movie. I hope we see him in some stuff in the future.

Asteroid City

Wes Anderson is back. This was not as good as his last few movies. But still fun, in that delightfully weird way he makes movies. B. It is well-acted and the cinematography is bright and colorful, but the plot is kind of minimal. The set-up is interesting, though. And the humor we get is pretty nice.

Theater Camp

Another one of those early screenings via Regal’s $5 Mystery Movie. This is a mockumentary about a summer camp for theater kids. I liked this a lot. A-. This movie doesn’t officially come out until like the middle of July. This is one of the best mockumentaries I’ve seen in quite some time. Christopher Guest would be proud.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

A movie, much like Avatar: The Way of Water, that just gets worse the longer I think about it. Not as bad as that movie, but not very good either. It is probably worse than Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, a movie I had not seen before this month (but I’ll get to that a little later.) C- to C, I guess? The opening of the movie is easily the best scene in the film. I did not like Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s character at all.

Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken

I didn’t expect to like this movie as much as I did. If you have a young daughter, she’d probably love it. B. I honestly thought I’d hate this. Or, at least, find it very disposable. But I was pleasantly surprised.

EVERYTHING ELSE

I watched quite a lot of television this month on top of all the movies. Taking a break from Zelda early in the month, I watched some of Guy’s Grocery Games, a cooking game show hosted by Guy Fieri that has an insane number of seasons. I don’t know if I’ll ever get back to it. I watched the most recent season of Rick and Morty and enjoyed myself. The new season of Clone High, which is weirdly separated from the first season on Max but is considered the second season of the show everywhere else, may be better than the first one. It being a streaming show now, there’s more swearing and, oddly, a lot more blood. The second season of Star Wars: Visions was pretty awesome. While the first season was all Japanese animation studios, this season opened it up to animation studios in many other countries. Aardman, of Wallace and Gromit fame, even got an episode. I love Good Mythical Morning, hosted by Rhett & Link, to the point I watch it every weekday morning while I eat breakfast. Inside Eats with Rhett & Link, a Food Network show that recently got added to Max, is not as good. It is only four episodes, though. The newest MCU TV/streaming show came out. Secret Invasion is interesting so far, but it needs more oomph. The last thing I watched was We Own This City, a based on a true story crime miniseries that takes place in Baltimore. I really liked it.

Easily the worst movie I saw this month, A Woman Scorned: The Betty Broderick Story just sucks. While based on a true story, the main character is such a terrible human being from start to finish. I had no sympathy for her at all. F.

I remember seeing the trailer for this movie years ago and thinking it looked cool. Guardians is basically Russian Avengers. But it isn’t great. The CGI, as expected, is pretty bad for what it is. C+. The idea is better than the execution.

I believe I caught this movie in bits and pieces but never saw the whole thing from start to finish until now. Rise of the Guardians is a pretty fun reimagining of various childhood story characters like Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. Them doing an Avengers is interesting. B to B+.

Beavis and Butt-Head Do America is such a fun movie with an awesome soundtrack. Mike Judge is such a fun filmmaker. A. One of those movies I’m just glad exists.

I enjoyed this movie more than a lot of other people. Man of Steel is a good time. Pa Kent is badly done, but that’s one of my only real criticisms. A- to A.

I finally watched Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, a movie I had been avoiding for years. But with the next Indiana Jones movie coming out, I thought it best to see this before that. It’s not great. C. Not as bad as I thought it would be, but not very good either. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom used to be my least favorite movie in the franchise, but the fourth and fifth movies are worse. My opinions of the second outing softened on a rewatch a few years ago.

Easily my favorite movie in the franchise, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade is an A+ all day. So many good quotes and scenes and visuals. Such a treat. And Sean Connery was brilliantly cast.

Escape Plan was a movie I thought looked interesting when it first came out but didn’t see it until now. It’s OK. B- to B. There’s a twist at the end that doesn’t feel deserved.

There’s a documentary about Stan Lee on Disney+, appropriately titled Stan Lee. I learned some things that I didn’t know about the guy. It uses miniature models to set scenes, which is an interesting aesthetic. B+ to A-.

A “based on a true story” movie that might not be that accurate. Flamin’ Hot tells the story of a man who rose from janitor to marketing executive at Frito Lay. If he didn’t invent Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, it seems odd he would be promoted up so much in the company. It’s an OK film. B.

I love this movie. Kingsman: The Secret Service is awesome. Like they mashed James Bond with Tarantino. Matthew Vaughn delivered hard. A+.

A movie I had seen before, obviously, but my fiancée never had. Creed is a good time. A- to A. It is a worthy entry into the Rocky franchise. Sylvester Stallone deserved the Oscar for Best Supporting Actor. Still unhappy about that.

Gravity was a gripping time. Took me way too long to see this. But I’m glad I finally did. A-. Not much else to say. A very enjoyable time.

A horror film that is interesting but doesn’t have too much going for it. You’re Next could be better by making the title have any real narrative importance. The title never really justifies itself. B- to B.

These are technically two separate movies, but I am lumping them together for obvious reasons. Batman: The Dark Knight Returns – Part 1 and Batman: The Dark Knight Returns – Part 2 are quite enjoyable for what they are. Probably the best Batman animated movie I’ve seen since Batman: Gotham by Gaslight. B+.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street was OK. I think it could have been better. The movie sort of wraps itself up a little too quickly at the end there. Johnny Depp also isn’t that good of a singer or at least he isn’t in this. B.

And that’s everything. Glad to get myself caught up so quickly. I’m writing this on the first day of July. There are at least a few movies in July I am quite excited for.