When I was a kid, "permanent record" meant "until you graduated".
In a worst case scenario, it meant that you *MIGHT* have to move states.
Remember the song "Kiss Off"? Yeah. That.
Now? Jeez, cancellation is forever. Your main hope is to have a name like "Matt Smith" and when someone asks if you're the one who was arrested for public urination every week for two years straight, you can make a joke about how you usually get asked if you're the Doctor Who actor.
I've told this story before but, hell, I'll tell it again.
A friend of mine applied for a job back in the early oughts and they gave him one of those $5 Lego kits to assemble. Just a simple little structure and a minifig.
"You want me to build this?", he asked. "Yes", the interviewer said.
They included the instructions and everything. He just laid out the instructions, built the structure, and presented the final product to the guy.
The interviewer nodded and started disassembling the lego set and putting it back in the box.
"You'd be surprised by how many people this weeds out", he told my bud.
Reading the story, it seems like there were five cops, two of them pled guilty, this is about one of the remaining three of the five.
The three defendants still face the prospect of years in prison after they were convicted of federal charges, though they were acquitted of the most serious charges there, too. Two other former officers previously pleaded guilty in both state and federal court, including Emmitt Martin, who defense attorneys blamed for the majority of the violence.
Bean and Smith are out on bond and under house arrest after their federal convictions. Haley is being held in federal prison.
Nichols, a 29-year-old Black man, fled a traffic stop after he was yanked out of his car, pepper-sprayed and hit with a Taser. Five officers who are also Black caught up with him and punched, kicked and hit him with a police baton, struggling to handcuff Nichols as he called out for his mother just steps from his home. Nichols died Jan. 10, 2023, three days after the beating.
While I am 100% down with the whole "the getaway driver gets charged with murder even if he was outside waiting in the car when the guy got shot inside" thing, this isn't exactly a complete miscarriage of justice.
One of the big things that Hunter Thompson brought back when he was novel was that he'd tell us the stories that journalists only told each other in the bar after their story was submitted.
The real story will involve three-pack-a-day Cardinals arguing with four-pack-a-day Cardinals about some weird intricacies that you need to speak Italian to understand coupled with a weird mix of the guys who have their top three priorities in *THIS* order arguing against guys who have their top three priorities in *THAT* order.
And, when they come outside temporarily to order some chicken piccata and another gross of cartons of Marlboro Reds, Camel Lights, and Pall Mall Filterless, they'll say that they're close, seriously, this close... because everybody has their top three priorities in the right order, they're just arguing about particulars.
And back to the yelling in Italian about some weird stuff that Americans (even the Catholic ones) have never even heard of.
I guess this sort of thing wouldn't survive with a Hunter Thompson.
Seattle Times reports: "UW protest ends with 31 arrests at occupied building on campus"
In a message to the UW community, President Ana Mari Cauce condemned what she described as a “dangerous, violent and illegal building occupation and related vandalism.” Four new manufacturing machines, valued at $35,000 to $120,000, were damaged. The university in a statement said the group started fires in two dumpsters on a street outside.
Where are the Free Speech Warriors now?
Anyway, I've seen arguments that the students who damaged these machines should be held accountable.
But who will be held accountable for Mumia Abu-Jamal?
On “Open Mic for the Week of 5/5/2025”
1. You have the option of laughing at them.
2. Asking people to do the background reading is ableist.
"
Just like what Columbia did to those kids in the library.
On “From New York Magazine’s Intelligencer: Everyone Is Cheating Their Way Through College”
Andrew has an episode devoted to this article. Check it out.
On “Open Mic for the Week of 5/5/2025”
When I was a kid, "permanent record" meant "until you graduated".
In a worst case scenario, it meant that you *MIGHT* have to move states.
Remember the song "Kiss Off"? Yeah. That.
Now? Jeez, cancellation is forever. Your main hope is to have a name like "Matt Smith" and when someone asks if you're the one who was arrested for public urination every week for two years straight, you can make a joke about how you usually get asked if you're the Doctor Who actor.
"
Arrests include Maggie Gyllenhaal’s daughter, Ramona Sarsgaard.
Your opinion of The Dark Knight may color what you wish to happen next.
On “A Post-Conclave Conclave”
This may sound unorthodox but I have a good way for Democrats to lock up the Presidency for at least two terms.
"
"Walk into the Conclave as a Pope and you'll walk out as a Cardinal."
Now we can forget that for a couple of decades again.
"
Do you think he'll be more conservative than Francis on Palestine or more progressive?
"
An American Pope?
This used to be a punchline.
I don't even feel like making intersex jokes.
"
I'm kinda surprised they didn't wait for a Friday afternoon news dump.
On “From New York Magazine’s Intelligencer: Everyone Is Cheating Their Way Through College”
I've told this story before but, hell, I'll tell it again.
A friend of mine applied for a job back in the early oughts and they gave him one of those $5 Lego kits to assemble. Just a simple little structure and a minifig.
"You want me to build this?", he asked. "Yes", the interviewer said.
They included the instructions and everything. He just laid out the instructions, built the structure, and presented the final product to the guy.
The interviewer nodded and started disassembling the lego set and putting it back in the box.
"You'd be surprised by how many people this weeds out", he told my bud.
On “A Post-Conclave Conclave”
The Pope Must Diet! wasn't as good as its conceit.
But what script could possibly live up to "the wrong guy becomes pope"?
That said, "Do you know who I am? I'm Cardinal Rocco! You're lucky you're being fed here!" was one hell of a line.
On “Open Mic for the Week of 5/5/2025”
Maybe there should be a push for police reform that does stuff like weaken police unions.
On “A Post-Conclave Conclave”
Smoke enthusiasts will be pleased to know that we have black smoke at the Vatican.
On “The Department of Good Things”
"WITH A FREAKIN' PENCIL"
On “Open Mic for the Week of 5/5/2025”
It seems that Columbia has reclaimed the library from the people.
"
Reading the story, it seems like there were five cops, two of them pled guilty, this is about one of the remaining three of the five.
While I am 100% down with the whole "the getaway driver gets charged with murder even if he was outside waiting in the car when the guy got shot inside" thing, this isn't exactly a complete miscarriage of justice.
Merely a more minor one.
"
Just in time for finals, Columbia's Butler Library has been reclaimed by the people.
On “A Post-Conclave Conclave”
Imagine hanging out behind the rectory and bumming a Chesterfield off the Cardinal.
We used to be a country. A proper country.
On “Open Mic for the Week of 5/5/2025”
Luigi fans should be pleased: His legal fund has officially passed one million dollars.
"
No link and the stories popping up in the Google are from last year or earlier.
On “A Post-Conclave Conclave”
One of the big things that Hunter Thompson brought back when he was novel was that he'd tell us the stories that journalists only told each other in the bar after their story was submitted.
The real story will involve three-pack-a-day Cardinals arguing with four-pack-a-day Cardinals about some weird intricacies that you need to speak Italian to understand coupled with a weird mix of the guys who have their top three priorities in *THIS* order arguing against guys who have their top three priorities in *THAT* order.
And, when they come outside temporarily to order some chicken piccata and another gross of cartons of Marlboro Reds, Camel Lights, and Pall Mall Filterless, they'll say that they're close, seriously, this close... because everybody has their top three priorities in the right order, they're just arguing about particulars.
And back to the yelling in Italian about some weird stuff that Americans (even the Catholic ones) have never even heard of.
I guess this sort of thing wouldn't survive with a Hunter Thompson.
On “Open Mic for the Week of 5/5/2025”
Seattle Times reports: "UW protest ends with 31 arrests at occupied building on campus"
Where are the Free Speech Warriors now?
Anyway, I've seen arguments that the students who damaged these machines should be held accountable.
But who will be held accountable for Mumia Abu-Jamal?
On “The Department of Good Things”
But even if you think we shouldn’t have a Department for Education, we still need to, uh, do that.
This is the "we still need Good Things!" argument.
I agree that we need Good Things.
"So you should support the existence of the extant Department as it exists in its current form!"
No.
On “Open Mic for the Week of 5/5/2025”
Eh, the "by explaining the dynamic, you're excusing it!" is a poor argument.
I mean, would you buy it in service to why Israel shouldn't be bombing Occupied Palestine?
"What about October 7th? YES OR NO? WHAT ABOUT OCTOBER 7TH?!?"
"That's abuser logic."